The best gaper quotes - Ski Gabber

The best gaper quotes - Ski Gabber - Forums

Score: 60

<< First < Prev 1 .. 37 .. 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 .. 88 Next > Last >>

<< Back to thread listing

Subject: The best gaper quotes

RICK_ROSS$
Karma : 246137
6436 Posts
No Life
icon

Mar 10 2008
7:33:59PM

somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"

CorbinLefebvre
Karma: 14796
175 Posts
Pro
icon

Jun 27 2011
12:11:24PM

Some dad was in the park and there was a channel gap and this kid was in between them so i went and the dad came down and yelled at me on how i could have killed him.

The_Beekeeper$
Karma: 14549
753 Posts
Ridiculous
icon

Jun 27 2011
12:19:42PM

This is kind of half gaper, half me being an idiot. Last season I was hitting the 40 footer at my home resort. As I went off I saw this dumb woman carving down right where I was going to land. I just managed to go over her, and when I landed I stopped to yell at her. Unbeknownst to me, I was also not visible from the drop in. My friend, who had just assumed I had landed clean, had just dropped in, and almost landed on top of me! We had a good laugh about that one later.

How is a cow not a vegetable? -steevner

http://www.seshday.com/invite/?r=22537

steezysteeze
Karma: 26884
1130 Posts
Insane
icon

Jun 27 2011
12:47:48PM

Family member or friend of family: So do you play any sports

Me: Yeah I'm really into newschool skiing (explains what it is)

Family member or friend of family: Oh, like snowboarding

Me: Yeah..

That happens a bunch. Same with "how do you stay on a rail on skis"

Gaper quote 2

(Watching Tanner CR and Sprigs segment at my grandfathers house)

Grandfather: This isn't skiing, it looks like they're just falling down a mountain

So many people just don't understand action sports but I mean looking at action sports it is kind of understandable that some people would think that.

i like to ski

yo dawg yo i heard hes(pollard) wearing burton gear next year cus they are gonna make skis with topsheets that have a map to chads gap from the bottom of alta-powday

joshua
Karma: 48771
4858 Posts
No Life
icon

Jun 27 2011
12:52:23PM

"Marker bindings are the best bindings on the market right now."

"Yeah, my friend has bindings that are so old they are METAL!"

I facepalmed hard when I overheard that convo in a ski shop.

2bi4 is lightyears ahead of 4bi9, whens the last you saw someone build a house using 4bi9s? -jfletcher

PajamaSam
Karma: 110099
2716 Posts
Addict
icon

Jul 15 2011
3:31:51AM

me: dude I'm hella excited. I'm getting some pro pipes for $189.

friend: Why would you get pro pipes?

me: they're basically more durable, race base suspects.

friend: but they're pipe skis.

me: .....

lets just say skiing has been around longer than jesus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDdOUexGuRM

JPLL "what do you think about '11 amplid syntax?" mrstskier "I hear they give you 13 STDs know to humans, and 3 known to dolphins."

Midwestoverdose
Karma: 25020
840 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 15 2011
5:14:43AM

"Drop Back Full Tilts?"

xsjado
Karma: 2635
95 Posts
Wannabe
icon

Jul 15 2011
10:58:31AM

Have you even looked in the mirror?!

(whilst wearing shorts, shinguards, a poc helmet with chinstrap and mouthguard dangling)

i honestly wanted to fall on the floor laughing hahaha

fatman44
Karma: 230
15 Posts
Newb
icon

Jul 15 2011
11:41:16AM

this thread is a cynical peice of garbage. These 'gapers' most likely live in a diferent place, where there are more likely no mountains, no snow, and no freeski scene, so when they approach you, dont expect them to know the model of your skis, how exactly the resort operates, and what the name for a trick is. Honestly these people want to enjoy the sport of skiing and have fun, they are not going to look up every edit ever and learn all this terminoligy for one day on the mountain.

I know personally my grandma never saw snow until she was sixty, so when people like her ask where the moguls go, it is not to get scoffed at and ridiculed, but to learn about the sport they are new to. Skiing is a privilege, we are blessed with being able to have the money to buy skis, outerwear, helmets, googles, poles, gas money to drive every weekend, tickets/passes to the mountain ,and even get whole boxes of jiberish and three diferent jackets, like i have seen on some wts forums. It is elitist and wrong to mock people who are trying to enjoy the sport and have no exposure to it for mistaking terms. It is like asking a third grader to do the taylor series for sinx when you are in college. seems elementary to you, but for someone who doesnt even now what calc is, it is risible.

Lets just all enjoy skiing, since it is the sport we all love, and instead of narcissistically insulting those who have less exposure to the sport, lets help them identify what trick you threw, what skis you have, and what happens with the moguls and how they are made, so that they too may learn about the sport and progress, just like we all had to.

whoa-dere$
Karma: 107800
7071 Posts
Crazy Fool
icon

Jul 15 2011
11:42:05AM

i saw this at a mall in china today

your ad here.
looking for green or blue LRG grassroots!

anangrytomato
Karma: 6559
134 Posts
Pro
icon

Jul 15 2011
12:03:06PM

Quoting fatman44 from Jul 15 2011 11:41:16:
this thread is a cynical peice of garbage. These 'gapers' most likely live in a diferent place, where there are more likely no mountains, no snow, and no freeski scene, so when they approach you, dont expect them to know the model of your skis, how exactly the resort operates, and what the name for a trick is. Honestly these people want to enjoy the sport of skiing and have fun, they are not going to look up every edit ever and learn all this terminoligy for one day on the mountain. I know personally my grandma never saw snow until she was sixty, so when people like her ask where the moguls go, it is not to get scoffed at and ridiculed, but to learn about the sport they are new to. Skiing is a privilege, we are blessed with being able to have the money to buy skis, outerwear, helmets, googles, poles, gas money to drive every weekend, tickets/passes to the mountain ,and even get whole boxes of jiberish and three diferent jackets, like i have seen on some wts forums. It is elitist and wrong to mock people who are trying to enjoy the sport and have no exposure to it for mistaking terms. It is like asking a third grader to do the taylor series for sinx when you are in college. seems elementary to you, but for someone who doesnt even now what calc is, it is risible. Lets just all enjoy skiing, since it is the sport we all love, and instead of narcissistically insulting those who have less exposure to the sport, lets help them identify what trick you threw, what skis you have, and what happens with the moguls and how they are made, so that they too may learn about the sport and progress, just like we all had to.

Hey guess what. We're not degrading anybody. It's just funny to us given what we know about the sport. Yeah, when somebody thinks they're superior because they know more they're an asshole but for the most part it's just poking some light fun at people who haven't learned yet and we've all been there.

owenoc118
Karma: 33520
614 Posts
Ridiculous
icon

Jul 15 2011
12:25:28PM

i was on the palmer lift in hood with my friend and 2 gapers about 2 weeks ago... this is what went down:

Gaper: "why do u freestylers use twinteipers?"

Me: "ugh.. idk its easier to ski backwards and grind rails and stuff "

Gaper: "oh.... and y do u guys use really small poles?"

Me: "well i guess cuz we dont wnt long poles to get like caught up wihle were in the air, and i feel its just kindof easier."

Gaper: "Oh... what do they use those bags for (pointing to windells airbag)?"

Me: "to practice flips and stuff into it b4 u take it to a jump"

Gaper: "what are they filled with?"

Me: "...air"

Gaper: "oh..."

Me: "... and sometimes their filled with jello"

Gaper: " is that one filled with jello or air?"

Me: "uh im not sure. i think that one has both"

then me and my friend were just quietly laughing untill we got off the lift

MHSSC - session 5

.guy
Karma: 1281
461 Posts
Ridiculous
icon

Jul 15 2011
12:27:35PM

Quoting owenoc118 from Jul 15 2011 12:25:28:
i was on the palmer lift in hood with my friend and 2 gapers about 2 weeks ago... this is what went down: Gaper: "why do u freestylers use twinteipers?" Me: "ugh.. idk its easier to ski backwards and grind rails and stuff " Gaper: "oh.... and y do u guys use really small poles?" Me: "well i guess cuz we dont wnt long poles to get like caught up wihle were in the air, and i feel its just kindof easier." Gaper: "Oh... what do they use those bags for (pointing to windells airbag)?" Me: "to practice flips and stuff into it b4 u take it to a jump" Gaper: "what are they filled with?" Me: "...air" Gaper: "oh..." Me: "... and sometimes their filled with jello" Gaper: " is that one filled with jello or air?" Me: "uh im not sure. i think that one has both" then me and my friend were just quietly laughing untill we got off the lift

was it really filled with jello?

Dude I didn't get banned and I posted a link to two Vietnamese girls having strap-on sex and vomiting on eachother.-Cloud-Nice

Sometimes you need to stalk and drug people to get what you want. Let me know if it works!-Andy Parry
___________________________________________________________

mmallender.$$
Karma: 50415
5051 Posts
No Life
icon

Jul 15 2011
4:40:54PM

Quoting .guy from Jul 15 2011 12:27:35:
was it really filled with jello?

did you eat it after? was it cherry? because cherry jello is fucking delicious

french fried when he should have pizza'd. rookie mistake.

"that one kid he was like a one stomp gumba"

why? jiblife drops in like 2 months (give or take never) - chardi

"I think I stomped the trick and afterbanged too hard" - Giray Dadali

tranny_slammer
Karma: 63867
4711 Posts
No Life
icon

Jul 15 2011
6:06:00PM

Quoting [MEGAMO] from Dec 23 2008 7:12:12:
if im just doing park all day, i take off one ski in the lift line because i dont use poles, and just push myself along with the one boot. some gaper kid asked his dad, "how come that guy is doin that?" dad: "oh he is one of them snowboarder kids who couldn't cut it"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

If you're from the Midwest, and it doesn't matter where, say shhhhhhhhh

"This is the tits!" -Andy Parry

Moegain$
Karma: 59834
4406 Posts
No Life
icon

Jul 16 2011
5:29:30PM

This thread is not as good as the TGR thread, sorry to pop your bubbles. This thread is full of kids trying to impress eachother

change your sig - paper_route

Me->MacMahoooon "Fuck You"
MacMahoooon->ME "love you too man"

Check Diz stuffz out http://www.flickr.com/photos/23060188@N04/

PC.Jibber
Karma: 69137
1672 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 17 2011
1:59:09PM

Quoting Moegain$ from Jul 16 2011 5:29:30:
This thread is not as good as the TGR thread, sorry to pop your bubbles. This thread is full of kids trying to impress eachother

This kinda got covered at least 30 pages ago... and in almost every page since... Personally, I would rather see some gaper stories, made-up or not, than hear people repeatedly complain about how the stories aren't real or how the thread may or may not be dead.

That is all.

"ive been trying to fart for the past half hour"
--PatrickLennon

Yeah cool tricks!!!

borealridah
Karma: 8278
251 Posts
Loner
icon

Jul 17 2011
3:07:00PM

Quoting andrewg

from Mar 11 2008 12:31:46:
"its cool to have park skis, even if your not skiing the park" -some gaper with new chronics "do you like rollers??? theres some pretty sweet ones on yellow"

do you ski alpine

tranny_slammer
Karma: 63867
4711 Posts
No Life
icon

Jul 17 2011
3:48:11PM

Quoting AWALLRUS. from Nov 20 2010 10:59:56:
there was this fat german kid looking at a flat box and he asked me how do to it and i didnt really know how to answer, so i just hit it and did a 270 out and he yelled "im not fucking doing that"

how is that a gaper? that is just a kid who is learning to ski, and doesn't want to 270 out on his first try.

If you're from the Midwest, and it doesn't matter where, say shhhhhhhhh

"This is the tits!" -Andy Parry

Ungeiist
Karma: 10581
152 Posts
Pro
icon

Jul 18 2011
7:39:55AM

Me *standing at the bottom of a run at some hotdog stand drinking a Gatorade, I overhear some fat Gaper woman, talking to her slightly less gaper friend*

Gaper: (looking at a t-bar) "look at those people going up the hill, they must be really good to just go up like that"

Gaper friend: "no they have that rope thing pulling them up"

Gaper: "oh is that what that thing does?"

I think she actually thought that as you get better at skiing you somehow can defy gravity and just ski uphill...

bigjibber
Karma: 6273
103 Posts
Pro
icon

Jul 18 2011
10:23:13AM

Ive had a kid ask me "Why are you using 4 yr old poles?" & "Your goggles should be on your helmet not under it"

Yinzer$
Karma: 21610
1028 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 20 2011
8:04:56PM

Quoting Ungeiist from Jul 18 2011 7:39:55:
I think she actually thought that as you get better at skiing you somehow can defy gravity and just ski uphill...

you are obviously not very good then...

"its def fake it looks like a frontwards backflip or something?" -Bethune

48/2(9+3) = 288

*TACO-DOG*$
Karma: 70811
8924 Posts
Crazy Fool
icon

Jul 20 2011
8:19:34PM

i always get "can you backflip?" or "can you hit that jump"

Leduc, Alberta

TACO-DOG-----> Neil-Young

◑ ◔

/¯/________________________________________
|WHOMPWHOMPWHOMPWHOMPWHOMPWHOMPWHOMP
|WOBWOBWOBWOBWOWOBWOBWOBWOWOBOWBOWBOWBOBWOBW
|WHOMPWHOMPWHOMPWHOMPWHOMPWHOMPWHOMP

BobTheSkier.
Karma: 15518
95 Posts
Wannabe
icon

Jul 21 2011
4:16:39AM

back in my day...we called those helicopters

Ungeiist
Karma: 10581
152 Posts
Pro
icon

Jul 21 2011
7:05:42AM

Quoting Yinzer$ from Jul 20 2011 8:04:56:
you are obviously not very good then...

post video of you going straight uphill without pushing and i'll shit brix

OMGHEDIDNT
Karma: 8527
720 Posts
Ridiculous
icon

Jul 21 2011
8:01:25AM

Quoting Ungeiist from Jul 21 2011 7:05:42:
post video of you going straight uphill without pushing and i'll shit brix

post a video of you shitting bricks and I'll post a video of me skiing uphill

Ungeiist
Karma: 10581
152 Posts
Pro
icon

Jul 21 2011
8:37:02AM

Quoting OMGHEDIDNT from Jul 21 2011 8:01:25:
post a video of you shitting bricks and I'll post a video of me skiing uphill

no, obviously i can't shit brix on demand. i need to see someone ski uphill to achieve brix shitage

whoa-dere$
Karma: 107800
7071 Posts
Crazy Fool
icon

Jul 21 2011
11:56:35AM

Quoting OMGHEDIDNT from Jul 21 2011 8:01:25:
post a video of you shitting bricks and I'll post a video of me skiing uphill

i shat briks upon seeing your icon. how did you make it?

your ad here.
looking for green or blue LRG grassroots!

Yinzer$
Karma: 21610
1028 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 21 2011
3:47:12PM

Quoting Ungeiist from Jul 21 2011 8:37:02:
no, obviously i can't shit brix on demand. i need to see someone ski uphill to achieve brix shitage

i have yetto check it out but ive heard from several people now that there is a hill near central PA that if you put a car in neutral you roll up hill. now im an engineer so i do not believe this, probably an optical illusion. but i still wanna try it

"its def fake it looks like a frontwards backflip or something?" -Bethune

48/2(9+3) = 288

Yinzer$
Karma: 21610
1028 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 21 2011
3:49:20PM

if i do go there it will be winter, i will wear my planks, and i will expect brick shitting footage

"its def fake it looks like a frontwards backflip or something?" -Bethune

48/2(9+3) = 288

*P_Black*$
Karma: 25655
5056 Posts
No Life
icon

Jul 21 2011
7:49:01PM

a group of park skiers and i were all going down the hill together to get to the jump line... once we get there a ski patrol pulls up to us and says:

ski patrol man," hey guys, i know you think your really cool but you guys need to stop GANG BANGIN down the hill."

*P_Black*$
Karma: 25655
5056 Posts
No Life
icon

Jul 21 2011
7:53:46PM

a friend and i were skiing around the trees and find a rope swing...we start to play around with it and swing off a ledge. another idiot ski patrol came down to us and says:

"hey guys we need those for our groomers"

me: "what?"

*ski patrol skis away*

they need a 10 ft piece of rope for snow cats? to do what??

haha only at rose

ironic
Karma: 21282
762 Posts
Ridiculous
icon

Jul 21 2011
8:09:48PM

I think one of the worst was last year. I work at a ski shop (sometimes by myself during the day when it's really slow) and during one of these times I was waxing some skis and this guy comes it. So I go up to the counter, ask him what he needs..

Guy looks at me for a good ten seconds, judgmentally none the less, and then asks,

"Is there anyone else here?"

Me: "No, I'm the only one working right now, is there anything I can help you with?"

Him: "Are you sure? I want someone who actually knows what they're doing."

Me: "I've been working here for a while, I'm sure we can work it out."

Skeptically: "Well alright then."

Sometimes being the only woman in the ski shop is rough.

"This is the part that most people don't know. You can't achieve proper tall teeness without making sure you pull it over your knees and down you your ankles."
-Tall tee not tall enough? It's ok! There's an easy way to fix your steeze!

Beam_er
Karma: 66516
995 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 21 2011
9:28:33PM

My brother and I were going up the lift during Ontario march break at Tremblant and at about 10 in the mourning and some guy pulls out a beer and asks us if the steep jump (not really steep) is for doing flips. I explain that you can do anything from spins to flips off of it. He then drained his beer and proceeded to crash into a family standing near the offloading zone at the top of the chair. Just thought it was funny and would like to share it!

Ski the Brim
Maybe the driver thought it was MFM's girlfriend and was scared shitless. -Mike-O
What the hell is that? Stonehenge? -TWA

*P_Black*$
Karma: 25655
5056 Posts
No Life
icon

Jul 21 2011
9:38:02PM

so during class one day, i decide to watch revolver while my retard teacher is talking....some dumb beezy behind me says

"is that a ski racing movie??"

me-"are you retarded?"

joshua
Karma: 48771
4858 Posts
No Life
icon

Jul 21 2011
9:54:52PM

Quoting *P_Black*$ from Jul 21 2011 9:38:02:
so during class one day, i decide to watch revolver while my retard teacher is talking....some dumb beezy behind me says "is that a ski racing movie??" me-"are you retarded?"

Wow you know something someone else doesn't. how cool you are.

2bi4 is lightyears ahead of 4bi9, whens the last you saw someone build a house using 4bi9s? -jfletcher

Ungeiist
Karma: 10581
152 Posts
Pro
icon

Jul 22 2011
12:38:18AM

Quoting whoa-dere$ from Jul 21 2011 11:56:35:
i shat briks upon seeing your icon. how did you make it?

wuuuut

Yinzer$
Karma: 21610
1028 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 22 2011
7:12:26AM

Quoting joshua from Jul 21 2011 9:54:52:
Wow you know something someone else doesn't. how cool you are.

well thats a fake post so dont you feel dumb

"its def fake it looks like a frontwards backflip or something?" -Bethune

48/2(9+3) = 288

Aerozol
Karma: 22354
1096 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 22 2011
7:32:09AM

Quoting ironic from Jul 21 2011 8:09:48:
Guy looks at me for a good ten seconds, judgmentally none the less, and then asks, "Is there anyone else here?"

Ohh shit, I'm sometimes the only guy in the shop, and that's hard enough.
We don't stock fucking race tigers (etc), so a lot of people assume I/we're useless, but shit, that one sucks hard.

If I had more energy, I'd burn that young mans face

stupendous-man$
Karma: 113888
5034 Posts
No Life
icon

Jul 22 2011
3:42:15PM

theres some pretty gold ones in here: http://twitter.com/#!/CamperQuotes

"i once saw an indian family eating lunch at the picnic table in the park." -alexg1687

http://on3pskis.com/ ||http://sessions.searchpluswin.com/refer/bikerofestacada

Nufity
Karma: 30549
983 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 22 2011
8:41:24PM

this thread should be stickied

Before I start I want you to know that this really happened and this is pretty fucked up and the part in bold isnt neccesary for the story. Oh do I have a good one. Picture this: It's an average Wednesday around mid May in my least favorite class Geometry. I go to school where every student has a laptop (this will be important) and the majority of the time when people are bored in class they play games. So being an average day I'm playing a little bit of Jibbin when suddenly the girl next to me named Jessic

OMGHEDIDNT
Karma: 8527
720 Posts
Ridiculous
icon

Jul 23 2011
6:03:15PM

Quoting Ungeiist from Jul 22 2011 12:38:18:
wuuuut

nice triangle

OMGHEDIDNT
Karma: 8527
720 Posts
Ridiculous
icon

Jul 23 2011
6:04:43PM

Quoting whoa-dere$ from Jul 21 2011 11:56:35:
i shat briks upon seeing your icon. how did you make it?

camtasia it's a simple low bit .gif

malux94
Karma: 2837
232 Posts
Loner
icon

Jul 23 2011
6:48:49PM

here's a couple I experienced

I was showing my brother (gaper) a video of some friends of mine in a comp., doing rodeo5's and shit, and he was like "OMG they land backwards, that's crazy!" and then he asked me "can you also do these things?" and i was like "yeah, kinda..." and of course he then told me I could be a pro and shit....

then I showed him a freeride segment of a skimovie and when he saw a little bit of sluff around the skiers he kept on calling them avalanches.... -.-

It's weird thinking that a couple of years ago I was a gaper like him

Nufity
Karma: 30549
983 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 25 2011
1:05:05PM

Back about 4 years ago the first time I ever went skiing I was with my brother. He thought it would be a good idea to wear scoobydoo pajamas with shorts over them. not really a quote but shit even back then that shit was funny.

Sometimes I wish that America would create and drop the biggest bomb ever and when it detonated it would send a cloud of dut high enough in the atmosphere that temperatures would drop so far that we could ski everyday! YAYAYAYA!

*P_Black*$
Karma: 25655
5056 Posts
No Life
icon

Jul 26 2011
2:31:08AM

Quoting joshua from Jul 21 2011 9:54:52:
Wow you know something someone else doesn't. how cool you are.

well can you name one famous ski racing movie beacuz i couldnt so thats why i thought it was funny...idk why u gotta hate

whoa-dere$
Karma: 107800
7071 Posts
Crazy Fool
icon

Jul 28 2011
6:05:48AM

Quoting stupendous-man$ from Jul 22 2011 3:42:15:
theres some pretty gold ones in here: http://twitter.com/#!/CamperQuotes

"i feel like bobby brown would be fun to ski with, but if i was just hanging out with him, he would be like: lets do something sophisticated." lol"

your ad here.
looking for green or blue LRG grassroots!

Stang*
Karma: 15473
471 Posts
Ridiculous
icon

Jul 31 2011
2:42:43PM

Quoting SweatyBallShack$ from Jul 9 2010 3:02:05:

words cant describe how perfect this is

BigBadWolf$
Karma: 63100
1933 Posts
Insane
icon

Jul 31 2011
3:11:37PM

i,ve had kids im friends with on facebook ask where to buy jiberish stickers and me and a friend told them walmart, one of them actually went and looked.

"How do you guys know the names of every article of Jiberish ever created? I don't know the name of the shirt I'm wearing"
-ElGato

"Legend has it that eheath posted 5 thousand times on his first day on newschoolers."
-Link.