The best gaper quotes - Ski Gabber

Gorno
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Loner
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Oct 27 2009
4:00:06PM

Quoting Peach.$ from Oct 27 2009 2:34:09:
Last year I got chewed out by a race dad because my skis were "spitting"

What a prick.... nothing more deadly than twin rooster tails

WVskiing$
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Oct 27 2009
4:45:53PM

one time a gaber pissed me off so much i KILLED HIM

"I got LJ and Tom Wallish learning me some afterbang"

treebeard$
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Oct 27 2009
5:11:05PM

Quoting WVskiing$ from Oct 27 2009 4:45:53:
one time a gaber pissed me off so much i KILLED HIM

this is about as believable as 80% of the more recent stories.

the first 20 or so pages were pure gold, but now this thread kinda sucks

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*CUMMINGS*$
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Oct 27 2009
5:44:36PM

Quoting B.Pol$ from Oct 26 2009 7:03:58:
These kids where in the lift line in front of us
"are those trick skis"
me "yes"
them "do you go to the obsticle course"
Me"silence"
Another one: kids again in front of us in the lift line were trying to talk trash on their rental skis
"We are practically pro because we have been on this lift 8 whole times"
next thing we know the lift stops and we see them all on the ground.......epic facepalm

change your icon mang. that one's reserved for asian allen only!

Hi, My Name is Robert Cummings, and I'm addicted to Gnarshmallow

RIP Shane McConkey
----------------------------------------
sagged pants, wide stance; tall tees, cork threes; goggle sag, sponsor swag; hip-hop and rap, tranfer gap; afterbang, in a gang; stylie grabs, sick hand drags

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B.Pol$
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Oct 27 2009
9:21:16PM

Quoting *CUMMINGS*$ from Oct 27 2009 5:44:36:
change your icon mang. that one's reserved for asian allen only!

sorry I didnt know, I changed it

Never summer Longboards, Line skis, Arrow Racing karts, Specialized Bikes

erikK$
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Oct 27 2009
10:07:11PM

My friend bought a snowboard off TJ Schneider without knowing he was a pro. when they were at his apartment he was like "so uhh, why do you have so many snowboards lying around?"

erikK$
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Nov 5 2009
11:46:22PM

Fresh off facebook!
me: "what makes you stoked on winter?"
her:"snowboarding and snow"
me:"oh sweet what kind of snowboarding do you do?"
her: "... erm snowboarding? im goofy i guess"
me:"like racing, backcountry, park..."
her: "ohhh uh i guess i really like backcountry and i just like going fast... i dunno... POWDER i love powder"

she's ugly, so it's fine to fuck with her. i don't think she's actually snowboarded before so she's a goldmine for quotes

gretzels
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Pro
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Nov 10 2009
1:50:10AM

i can't resist...

first lift comment from old gaper man complete with red/yellow/purple jester hat:

"how to you like those flipped up tails?"

stop gaping

cashdebt
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Nov 10 2009
2:31:38AM

ah, i was going to resurrect this thread today but someone already did the honors

well anyway i was at keystone on sunday and i was riding up the chairlift. I enjoy making small talk with the people who ride the lift whether they be gapers or hood rats. Anyway, she ended up complimenting my skis, which are last years invaders, and said how they were very colorful and she didn't like the ones she just bought because they were black-ish. then she proceeded to say that my skis look like they would do well in powder because of the fat waist of the ski.....
i then proceeded to tell her that these skis infact self destruct when they come into contact with any sort of fresh snow and explained fat skis and rocker and all that jazz. needless to say it was quite the facepalm moment, as even a gaper knows what fat skis are and she proceeded to tell me how shes lived in colorado her whole life and skied so it came as a bit of a surprise

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..jack
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Nov 10 2009
11:27:00AM

Been grooming the kicker at London Freeze with this guy, we're watching the skiers warm up. Someone hits the jump , this guy turns to me and says,

"was that an 8?"

LOL

SteezeBall
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Nov 10 2009
12:24:04PM

First time i ever stomped a sw 5, some little gaper skis up to me below the jump and says, would have been waay sicker with a daffy.

Montana sucks. tell all your friends and go home.

Relish_man
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Nov 10 2009
12:46:25PM

my mom still says i do acrobatic skiing. it pisses me off.

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PM if you ski Bromont.
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FK-Just-Do-It
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Nov 10 2009
1:40:55PM

A russian gaper in the lift: So, tell meh, how do you do thiz rotation ?
Me: You need to start off backwards, the when you approach the jump, you need to kinda bend your legs and then stretch them out at last, the in the air, you MUST throw yourself backwards...
Russion gaper: I see, very nice.

We got of the elevator, and when i saw him, in his late 70's ski suit and white/pink/yellow skis, getting down to the smallest jump, i dident dare to even watch if he was going to to as i told him xD

spen-cer

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Nov 10 2009
1:45:42PM

Quoting FK-Just-Do-It from Nov 10 2009 1:40:55:
We got of the elevator, and when i saw him, in his late 70's ski suit and white/pink/yellow skis, getting down to the smallest jump, i dident dare to even watch if he was going to to as i told him xD

we got off the elevator???

im confused

--------------------------------------- newschoolers.com

jive_turkey
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Nov 10 2009
3:50:54PM

Quoting FK-Just-Do-It from Nov 10 2009 1:40:55:
We got of the elevator

here's my gaper quote

formerly PA_Steeze

H8CH

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Nov 10 2009
3:54:46PM

Quoting jive_turkey from Nov 10 2009 3:50:54:
here's my gaper quote

Gold!

Knights of Columbus, that hurt!
By the beard of Zeus!
Great Odin's raven!
Son of a bee sting!

double_D
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Nov 10 2009
6:29:19PM

Quoting erikK$ from Oct 27 2009 10:07:11:
My friend bought a snowboard off TJ Schneider without knowing he was a pro. when they were at his apartment he was like "so uhh, why do you have so many snowboards lying around?"

who the fuck is tj schneider

"so whats today? Friday the 13th? Pretty sick day i guess."-dane tudor

"i butter the mountain like its a peice of toast"-me

"holy dude man..."-tj schiller

*CUMMINGS*$
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Nov 10 2009
6:37:20PM

Quoting double_D from Nov 10 2009 6:29:19:
who the fuck is tj schneider

maybe, just maybe, he's some sort of PROOOOOOOOOO! snowboarder? It's quite possible that I'm wrong though, this is just a guess.

Hi, I'm Robert Cummings, and I'm addicted to Gnarshmallow

RIP Shane McConkey
---------------------------------
sagged pants, wide stance; tall tees, cork threes; goggle sag, sponsor swag; hip-hop and rap, tranfer gap; afterbang, in a gang; stylie grabs, sick hand drags

"That's like saying 'I like Christmas because Santa breaks my legs and kills my cats every year."
-Billek

NIGGERZ have a tendency to have REDICULOUSLY FUCKING GAY relationships and produce retarted NIGGERTRASH offspring.

SKIU4EA
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Nov 10 2009
9:57:16PM

Quoting FK-Just-Do-It from Nov 10 2009 1:40:55:
We got of the elevator

if your using the elevator you must be skiing some crazy urban shit!!! no, but seriously i think we all know you meant escalator

CAUTION: Skier may wreck at any time

erikK$
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Nov 10 2009
10:10:50PM

Quoting double_D from Nov 10 2009 6:29:19:
who the fuck is tj schneider

a pro snowboarder

will-g
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Nov 10 2009
10:20:35PM

Quoting erikK$ from Nov 10 2009 10:10:50:
a pro snowboarder

sarcasm meter broken?

everyone is born as a gaper, then when they reach a certain level they evolv to NSer, then they evolve to G and then they evolve to pro, alltough most are stuck in the gaper fase.... --- I_Am_God

chacharlie: meee oww.
Malcolm:well that was uncalled for

joshua
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Nov 10 2009
10:28:08PM

Quoting aka_cheech from Feb 1 2009 1:45:55:
(after doing a blind 270 out of a single barrel"
gaper:dude ur amazing i didn't see anyone do that all night long"

2 seconds later my friend 2ed on and blind 2 out...

not a gaper quote

Banane.$
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Nov 10 2009
10:33:47PM

So i was in the lift line

Gaper: Hey, why you mount one ski backward? ( i got 07/08 the Dumont )
Me: It's the design .. im not stupid dude
Gaper: Oh, So you buy 2 pair of ski?
Me: take the lift

butteredpretzel
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Nov 10 2009
10:43:47PM

are MTBing gaper quotes ok?
I put a video on facebook of me manualing my hardtail.
I have a hydraulic brakes on my back tire, and a freshman at my highschool commented asking where and how expensive the disc on my back wheel was and if they really helped in doing "Whillies"

I will buy your Uni Threads Crewnecks
PM me if you ski Kirkwood

Kcin$
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Nov 10 2009
10:47:35PM

o dude my favorite gaper quote was definitely where half of ns just lied through their teeth to make themselves look cool but in reality everyone knew they were lying. that one is always good

Brenone

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Nov 10 2009
10:55:14PM

Quoting Kcin$ from Nov 10 2009 10:47:35:
o dude my favorite gaper quote was definitely where half of ns just lied through their teeth to make themselves look cool but in reality everyone knew they were lying. that one is always good

Gaper: wow your a good skier

Me: uh yeah, i know

omg!!111!!1!!!! what a fucking gaper

seriously this thread reeks of bullshit

I got kicked out of Barnes & Nobles for putting all the bibles in the fiction section.

ferrariowner123$
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Nov 10 2009
11:02:52PM

Okay so this happend over the summer while a buddy and i were building a summer jib for his back yard, and we went to home depot to pick up some turf for the drop in/ramp down, and we somehow got to telling the home depot guy that were going to be skiing on it, and goes over to this role of turf saying,

"here's what you need.... all the pro's use this like bode miller, they use on their rails when they dont wanna wreck their $2000 dollars skis"

my buddy and i just look at each other, trying so hard not to laugh,

For those of you who dont know, Bode Miller is a pro racer, i dont think he has ever touch a rail before in his life.

Ferrari

"your asking if i like a bunch of guys in speedos or a bunch of hot underage girls in pushup bras... "-timmi$

"Yah when you spot your landing and your like alright there it is,...yup its still there...ok there it went...ummm...shiiiit " VTjibber

lifewithstyle
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Nov 10 2009
11:23:48PM

Is a front flip easier than a link and loops?

Try to make your lifestyle about Life with style.

mezzy
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Nov 11 2009
12:19:00AM

Quoting lifewithstyle from Nov 10 2009 11:23:48:
Is a front flip easier than a link and loops?

haha i told them that it was a lincon loop and they thought i was retarded...

mezzy
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Nov 11 2009
12:19:35AM

Quoting lifewithstyle from Nov 10 2009 11:23:48:
Is a front flip easier than a link and loops?

haha i told them that it was a lincon loop and they thought i was retarded...

erikK$
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Nov 11 2009
2:00:02AM

Quoting will-g from Nov 10 2009 10:20:35:
sarcasm meter broken?

maybe some skiers don't know every pro snowboarder out there. forgive me your majesty

Bright_Nation
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Nov 11 2009
2:30:42AM

As we were salting the landing an old due came up to us.

Old man: "Why on earth would you do that?"
Me: "It makes us commit more, if you crash you get salt in your wounds and it hurts"

Steevner: "How is a cow not a vegetable?"
Quoting I_Am_God: "I only believe in snow, all the rest in my life is irrelevant."

Newschool_Pope$
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Nov 11 2009
2:52:37AM

this one guy in the liftline once claimed that he went skiing 250 + days in half a year.

not really a quote, but a friend of mine got a head J.O. pro model for christmas. his parents let the mounting done in the shop. they mounted it like a gs ski. i.e. the JON sign/logo was before the front of the binding hahah. he was so pissed.

good from far, but far from good

joshua
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Nov 11 2009
9:38:06AM

Quoting SteezeBall from Nov 10 2009 12:24:04:
First time i ever stomped a sw 5, some little gaper skis up to me below the jump and says, would have been waay sicker with a daffy.

He speaks the truth

Baskilla
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Nov 11 2009
12:06:03PM

BIG AIR.

Ski_ThEast
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Nov 11 2009
12:21:18PM

whoa did you see that, that guy just did a spinny thing over that jump that was sooo cool.

T.G.S.

raddar$
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Nov 11 2009
12:34:54PM

Quoting ferrariowner123$ from Nov 10 2009 11:02:52:
For those of you who dont know, Bode Miller is a pro racer, i dont think he has ever touch a rail before in his life.

this is a solid gaper quote

"cause im Shane McConkey damnit, and im not done yet"

FK-Just-Do-It
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Nov 11 2009
1:40:23PM

So, me and the other fellas went skiing one day at the local centre, wich has the best park in all of "Eastern" norway :)
When we get down to the area where the butterboxes and rails starts, we find a DANISH Family of 5, enjoying their lunch on the box... Great.

PS; In norway, danish people are THAY Gapers, and theres always a new story to tell if you ever get into the chairlift with one of them.

Breareos
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Nov 11 2009
5:20:36PM

When my friend was showing me a picture of his homemade rail which had his boots and skis on it, he told of that when he put it on facebook that someone commented,"why do you have those fruity boots on that snowboard rail?"

..And so it was that when God created snow, man was compelled to ride through it on two wooden boards..

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will-g
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Nov 11 2009
9:21:47PM

Quoting erikK$ from Nov 11 2009 2:00:02:
maybe some skiers don't know every pro snowboarder out there. forgive me your majesty

forgiven kind sir.

Today we(myself and 2 other skiers) were discussing what was better a grabbed stomped 7 or a hucked not even cleanly landed backflip and the two girls next to us listening in were like
"oh my god you did a backflip that is so cool! Like OMG!!"
"Ya but he did a 720 with a grab.Which is better."-other skier
"No, Backflips are so much better." - the girls

I walked away laughing and thinking of this thread

everyone is born as a gaper, then when they reach a certain level they evolv to NSer, then they evolve to G and then they evolve to pro, alltough most are stuck in the gaper fase.... --- I_Am_God

chacharlie: meee oww.
Malcolm:well that was uncalled for

dirtylion27
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Nov 11 2009
9:29:16PM

haha this thread just randomly pops up at times.

treebeard$
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Nov 11 2009
9:38:48PM

Quoting will-g from Nov 11 2009 9:21:47:
forgiven kind sir.

Today we(myself and 2 other skiers) were discussing what was better a grabbed stomped 7 or a hucked not even cleanly landed backflip and the two girls next to us listening in were like
"oh my god you did a backflip that is so cool! Like OMG!!"
"Ya but he did a 720 with a grab.Which is better."-other skier
"No, Backflips are so much better." - the girls

I walked away laughing and thinking of this thread

you should have told them you were pro.

then proceeded to bone them

if you can fully get your dick into someones bellybutton...
well i will bow to you
-Dubsman35

MNBlake
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Nov 11 2009
9:43:39PM

haha alright not skiing but whatever.
I was at a local skate park fuckin around on my fruitboots with a friend cuz we were bored.
I just went up a hit this small like 6 inch tall, 4 foot long rail, and did a 270 out.

Kid runs up..
Dude are you sponsored?!
...no?
But you just did a soul grind shifty to a 360.
what? if i did a 360 i would've landed sideways.
Oh. Well, it was pretty fuckin sick.
alright..

Then he proceeded to run back to his friends, and they kept staring at me and my friend haha so we just left

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Breareos
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Nov 11 2009
10:11:58PM

^ha, fruit boots, nice to see you used that one.

..And so it was that when God created snow, man was compelled to ride through it on two wooden boards..

Join the Jib life cult and win a shirt!
http://www.newschoolers.com/web/content/viewcult/action/view/id/4651/

Gorno
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Nov 11 2009
10:15:44PM

Quoting will-g from Nov 11 2009 9:21:47:
forgiven kind sir.

Today we(myself and 2 other skiers) were discussing what was better a grabbed stomped 7 or a hucked not even cleanly landed backflip and the two girls next to us listening in were like
"oh my god you did a backflip that is so cool! Like OMG!!"
"Ya but he did a 720 with a grab.Which is better."-other skier
"No, Backflips are so much better." - the girls

I walked away laughing and thinking of this thread

Fucking rookies... take advantage.... clearly they were melting in their pants. Science has the right idea ^^^^^

blavallee4
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Nov 11 2009
10:27:20PM

we were discussing off topic stuff in class and lead to skiing and flips,

teacher: nobody can do flips on skis

me: ya they can

teacher: only the proffesional skiers can

me:well i can do many diffrent types of flips on skis

teacher: thats impossible, your just a kid

Mean People Suck

Breareos
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Nov 11 2009
10:40:42PM

^did you continue arguing with her? If so, what was the result?

..And so it was that when God created snow, man was compelled to ride through it on two wooden boards..

Join the Jib life cult and win a shirt!
http://www.newschoolers.com/web/content/viewcult/action/view/id/4651/

Walter.
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Nov 11 2009
10:44:13PM

one time i pegged this total gaper in head of the lift...he was pissed

and yes i am 12

dubaiski
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Nov 12 2009
8:47:56AM

earlier i shoed my gaper friend a time laps picture of me doing a jump. He said wow there are loads of people wearing the exact same thing doing that jump. Facepalm/

bindings are for pussies

GORlLLA
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Nov 12 2009
10:16:52AM

Quoting C+Thompson from Mar 11 2008 5:30:29:
Gaper : How do you guys see when your going all backwards?

And a funny story, may be not a gapher quote but when it happened it was hilarious. My friend was snowboarding and I was skiing and the was this big puddle at the bottom of the run because it was late in the season on a hot day and there are all these Chinese tourists standing looking at this puddle and my friend flies through the puddle on his board and all the water flies up and soaks the chinese people. I started laughing and they all looked at me and shouted something Chinese to me, which only made my laughing worse (not to be rasicst or anything).

Hahahaha I wish I had some good Gaper stories but last 2 ski years i was in boarding school and we weren't allowed to talk to people when we skied

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The best gaper quotes - Ski Gabber - Forums

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