The best gaper quotes - Ski Gabber - Forums

Great thread!

OK.....

So i was walking from the lodge to the bus carrying my skis one in each hand and this older guy bumps into me so i drop one of the skis and the guy comes up and he was being pretty nice picking my ski up for me and saying sorry and i was just about to walk away when he starts freaking out at me that i am holding my skis wrong! he basically grabs my skis out of my hands, puts them together and throws them over my shoulder. Telling me that if i carry my skis like that i will look like a real pro skiier....

One of my snowboarding friends came to school and told me that he got a concussion after he fell off a bad ass huge jump...... I later asked the person he was riding with where the jump was and it turns out he fell on his head doing a strait air off one of the jumps in the kiddy park... The jumps are so small that the mountain didn't even bother building a landing...

Also one time i was going up the lift with one of the dads of a mogul skiier at my school (he didn't recognize me though) and this was the conversation...

Gaper: So your a park skiier?

Me: Yup

Gaper: Yea i see you have your fancy park skis and 12 din bindings and everything!

Me: Mmmhmmmm

Gaper: Yea but park skiing should be stopped because skiiers go farther than snowboarders off jumps and they can get hurt more easily.

Me: I think you have an equal chance of getting hurt boarding...

Gaper: I was working at the mogul competition last week and i think a d-spin 720 is easy! you just need to find the right angle of take off... I remembeer back in the day i was a diving coach........

I wont bother telling you about his diving years..... Then when we get off the lift he takes the liberty to pull my pants up for me........

at my normal hill its all about the park,

but if you go over to one thats a ways out of the way and all old people and total gapers (and they don't have a park) and ski switch, people actually stop and stare.

i ariived at the flat box in my local park...

Yeti: This bench is vey slippy

Me:could you guys get off the box or somthing

Yeti:what are you going to do get, tell snow patrol on us!

Me: No i just wanna hit the box.

after i slide the box...

Yetis: lets go tell, he breaking the bench.

i just puked i laughed so hard

a spandex wearing racer at my mountain once asked me about my skis

racer: hey cool skis.

me: thanks

racer: so you're one of the twintippers?

me: um ya... (are you fuckin serious?)

i notice he has the same skis as me. 04 chronics but still...

me: same to you. nice skis. do you know how to use em?

racer gives idiotic stare. i try again

me: do you know how to ski switch?

idiotic stare again. i leave him with a puzzled expression

gaper: can you do back flips?

me: ya i have done some.

gaper: so your like sponsered, right?

hahahaha

this gay kid at school told me he was WAY better than me at skiing

so i asked him if he could 180 and in these exact words"what the fuck! what is that" i walked away very man and confused.

so this was a while ago and it was a super windy day so me and a friend were doing simple shit off of a 25 ft kicker.  he goes and does a 3

me: DROP DROPPING

gaper (next to the drop in):  don't worry im going around it

so i keep going and keep an eye on him.  i was abou to do a 3 also but then the wind kicks in and i just do a straight air over it. as im in the air i look down and see the guy and his 3 little kids right next to me as im in the air i start freaking out i land and eat shit because i was off balance i get up and dust myself off

freind:  WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

gaper:

so this was a while ago and it was a super windy day so me and a friend were doing simple shit off of a 25 ft kicker.  he goes and does a 3

me: DROP DROPPING

gaper (next to the drop in):  don't worry im going around it

so i keep going and keep an eye on him.  i was abou to do a 3 also but then the wind kicks in and i just do a straight air over it. as im in the air i look down and see the guy and his 3 little kids right next to me as im in the air i start freaking out i land and eat shit because i was off balance i get up and dust myself off

freind:  WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

gaper:  i had the right off way

me: i called drop

gaper: you still had no reason to go that fast you could hurt yourself or someone else

freind:  thats what your suppose to do you fuckclown

gaper:  you should have watched yourself still

freind:  no no no no YOU need to watch yourself

gaper: watch your attitude or ill call ski patrol

freind (who doesn't work there btw): can i see yours and your childerns tickets......NOW

gaper: why 

freind:  because i said so (rips them off)

gaper:  WHAT

freind: sir you are a fuckclown get your ass OFF THIS FUCKING HILL

gaper flicks us off and gets in the line

hahaha one of the scarest and funest times ever

RR to a fault.  Thought of the same thing myself.  We NSers are too cool to actually train much in the summer and instead waste it by a computer.  Ron, as I type is undoubtably chugging a hundred multivitamins, and simultaneously running a river bed and doing bicep curls------------->   THE MAN!

got asked a classic question in the store i work at the other day, "so which is the right or left ski?"

cue me laughing inside, but at the same time trying to answer the question seriously and helpfully.

also a group renting when handed poles tried out the  gaper "race tuck" straight away

my response to the "race tuck": if u keep doing that soon u will be able to kiss ur own ass