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Subject: The best gaper quotes
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RICK_ROSS$
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6436 Posts
No Life
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Mar 10 2008
7:33:59PM
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
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treebeard$
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Mar 16 2009
11:09:05PM
oh, and 1101!!

and 1102!!

and page 23!!
skiing in jeans is like Darth Vader. fuck yeah Darth Vader.
-wh@t

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OhMyBosh
Karma: 86094
5152 Posts
No Life
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Mar 16 2009
11:20:00PM
Quoting Get.Kronk$ from Mar 16 2009 6:58:53:
I was riding the lift at Jackson, looking pretty damn steezy.  Red coat, white pants, empire hat, empire gloves.  I get on with this family of three.   A mom, dad, and little girl (probably about 7 years old).  The man asks me 'So, where you been skiing today?'
"oh, i hiked the headwall twice, then played around in Moran woods for awhile.'  The little girl, in the sweetest voice 'do you do double diamonds?'  'yeah...'     the dad 'how often do you ski?' 
'about 20, 25 days a year'  'are you local?'  'No, i live in boulder.'   The dad, 'my god, that is the life.'  Huge sigh...
whats so bad about a family making conversation?



some of you guys on here are such elitist douchebags... yeah a lot of the things gapers say/do is hillarious, but half of you are just ripping on people new the the sport who are trying to be friendly.
-Onions Baby Onions


"the fame was like a drug... but what was more like a drug were the drugs."

"Believe me when i say i fucked a mermaid... I've got a nautical themed pashmina afghan... fuck land, im on a boat."

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CassieM
Karma: 1507
148 Posts
Pro
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Mar 16 2009
11:20:53PM
Quoting treebeard$ from Mar 16 2009 11:08:23:
unrelated, but your icon kicks ass
haha thanks
formerly peaceloveski91

""your local terrain park is already beginning to resemble the extras crew from Pirates of the Caribbean" does that mean the terrain park rules will become more like guidelines?" -V..

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ChrisSkisChron…
Karma: 9300
1093 Posts
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Mar 17 2009
10:26:34PM
On the chairlift a few years ago with a father and son (who's about 10), and the perk was right below us. Some guy pulls a steezy mute 7, lands, then goes to switch for the next rail

Son: OMG!!! TaHt GuY dID TeH ThReE-sIxTy!!!

Father: WoW, ThAt WaS cOoL

Son: OmGzOrZ!! NoW hE's GoIn TeH bAcKwArDzZz!!

Me: *laugh*
J'aime le pamplemousse

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Anders_F
Karma: 77528
479 Posts
Ridiculous
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Mar 17 2009
10:43:55PM
Gape: my greatest trick is a bakflip but i want to learn how to do MCtwists
Me: o word. what exactly is a "mctwist"?
Gape: um not quite sure actually i haver never landed one, i think its a 360 flip
Me: what kind of flip?
Gape: ummmm, i think front flip 360


this guy was the biggest clown ive ever met hahaha
newintelligentgroup.com

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B-Philly$
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Mar 17 2009
11:25:37PM
Quoting ChrisSkisChron… from Mar 17 2009 10:26:34:
On the chairlift a few years ago with a father and son (who's about 10), and the perk was right below us. Some guy pulls a steezy mute 7, lands, then goes to switch for the next rail

Son: OMG!!! TaHt GuY dID TeH ThReE-sIxTy!!!

Father: WoW, ThAt WaS cOoL

Son: OmGzOrZ!! NoW hE's GoIn TeH bAcKwArDzZz!!

Me: *laugh*
ahhh caps and lower case all at the same time confused me
stay steezy kids

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Jibbygibby
Karma: 17528
379 Posts
Loner
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Mar 17 2009
11:42:26PM
"that skier looks like a snowboarder"

"watch out for those gangsters"
http://blip.tv/file/1356143/

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messplay
Karma: 132237
4147 Posts
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Mar 18 2009
12:57:12PM
Quoting popNfresh44 from Mar 11 2008 12:24:07:
(going up the chairlift over an "unmarked run")

gaper teen: "gee i really wish some of this stuff was skiable"
wow. unbelievable.
dont compare me to you nigga you ain't this.

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messplay
Karma: 132237
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Mar 18 2009
1:02:16PM
Quoting ilikeplants$ from Mar 9 2009 11:39:43:
Seems to me like you're the idiot who thinks snowblades have DINs.
LATE
dont compare me to you nigga you ain't this.

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jmason$
Karma: 70195
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Mar 18 2009
1:31:03PM
G: Do you ski?
M: Yea
G: Nice! Me too!
M: Oh yea? What kind of skiing?
G: Mostly tricks.My favorite is the metal things (rails)
M: Oh cool... what can you do?
G: I just slide reallly fast down the metal things... this one time i was going like 80km/h on a metal thing! I swear!
M: *laugh and walk away*
_____________________________________________________
I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.

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Moostafa
Karma: 1738
232 Posts
Loner
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Mar 18 2009
1:59:58PM
So this one time... this really crude gaper says to me "Did you do KOOl stuff in the trick track?" and i was like dude your a gaper go to hell.
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Moostafa
Karma: 1738
232 Posts
Loner
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Mar 18 2009
5:33:45PM
Quoting Moostafa from Mar 18 2009 1:59:58:
So this one time... this really crude gaper says to me "Did you do KOOl stuff in the trick track?" and i was like dude your a gaper go to hell.
just wanna make it clear              ^not my post
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Get.Kronk$
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Mar 18 2009
5:42:14PM
Quoting OhMyBosh from Mar 16 2009 11:20:00:
whats so bad about a family making conversation?



some of you guys on here are such elitist douchebags... yeah a lot of the things gapers say/do is hillarious, but half of you are just ripping on people new the the sport who are trying to be friendly.
I never said it was a bad thing.   He just sounded soo incredibly jealous i felt kinda bad for him.  Nothing against the family except for their choice to live in florida.
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JCsteezy
Karma: 44683
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Mar 18 2009
5:58:34PM
haha all these are good ive gotten the classic "Do you ski them expert black dimond runs" always at blue moutain in PA a couple of kids were on the lift with me and they asked me where the backcountry was at the mountain. Meanwhile there is not and inch of snow on the sides of any trails
Whiteface
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awsome_mccool
Karma: 379
256 Posts
Loner
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Mar 19 2009
7:46:06PM
"Wait...snowboards come in different sizes" i think i called her an idiot.
your ad here

i've always said skiing backwards was a mistake-holte
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awsome_mccool
Karma: 379
256 Posts
Loner
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Mar 19 2009
7:47:04PM
asked that as a question. sorry bout the dub post.
your ad here

i've always said skiing backwards was a mistake-holte
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tbayjibber
Karma: 18329
328 Posts
Loner
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Mar 19 2009
9:49:34PM
Going up the T-bar with a gaper:
Gaper:"you seem pretty good at skiing. Are you going to the Olympics?"
Me: "No I don't think I'm good enough"
Gaper: "Really you go fast on diamond runs"
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gfinnTSC
Karma: 32962
1419 Posts
Insane
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Mar 19 2009
9:59:07PM

gaper:can you do like flips i mean i noticed you have the twin tails and you just came out of the snowboard park

me:yes

gaper:are you going pro anytime soon

me:yes 2010 olympics

gaper:seriously

Me:yes

gaper:can i have your autograph

me:no

DsP

LOON mountain

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hank.
Karma: 9832
226 Posts
Loner
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Mar 19 2009
11:04:50PM
Me: how much speed are you getting on this one
Gaper: well this board is freshly waxed soo a lot
Me: you mind if i watch to see how much speed you have
Gaper: yeah i think im gonna try a backflip
Me: nice lets see it
Gaper: well idk this board is really heavy i don't want to get stuck upside down
Me: ohh
Gaper: rides away speed checks prolly 35 times decks out and falls on a straight air
www.skitoga.com
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hank.
Karma: 9832
226 Posts
Loner
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Mar 19 2009
11:06:14PM
I've also gotten so the ice goes to the bottom of the lake for the winter right?
www.skitoga.com
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jmason$
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Mar 20 2009
12:38:20AM
^
I honestly wonder how people are THAT stupid
_____________________________________________________
I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.

Pictures speak louder than words because some words are big and hard to understand.

- Crochet Cult
- Build a Jib Cult
- Apple Heads Cult
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Gorno
Karma: 25350
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Loner
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Mar 20 2009
5:55:55AM
Quoting jmason$ from Mar 20 2009 12:38:20:
^I honestly wonder how people are THAT stupid

"I blame the school".... and crack

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White-Goblin
Karma: 9925
329 Posts
Loner
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Mar 21 2009
9:24:31PM
today i was watching our mountains slope competition and this little homely gremlin looking kid standing in front of us says "It would be sweet if one of them did an upside down helicopter!", it gave us all a good little giggle
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wordzofwizdum
Karma: 17976
479 Posts
Ridiculous
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Mar 21 2009
10:45:18PM
Quoting wordzofwizdum from Mar 15 2009 6:08:44:
"you don't smoke primetimes? what are you doing with your life?"

gape-"do you don't smoke primetimes?

Me"no"

gape-"what are you doing with your life?"

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lukasdudd
Karma: 3035
194 Posts
Pro
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Mar 21 2009
11:14:43PM
Really stupid guy from my school(a nerd with a pony tail and glasses). And he skis like 5 times a year

Him: I am better than you at skiing! and I am gonna win the comp this weekend
Me: Okay????
Him: I am gonna 360 of the big jump
Me: WOW, that would be amazing

at the comp he doesn't have enough speed to make it up the jump and stalls at the lip(This is a 40 foot table)

After the comp:
Him: Dude that set up was so stupid I didn't get enough amplitude, so how was i supposed to win?
Me: Maybe you should go faster(He never made it more than 5 feet and the table was 40)
Him: Why should i listen to you, I don't like your style
Me: What???
Him: You land on the wrong landing?
Me: What is wrong with that
Him: That looks gay

He didn't get the concept of the canyon jump. HAHAHAHAHA
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Justin.B$
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Mar 22 2009
12:59:31AM
Quoting gfinnTSC from Mar 19 2009 9:59:07:
gaper:can you do like flips i mean i noticed you have the twin tails and you just came out of the snowboard park
me:yes
gaper:are you going pro anytime soon
me:yes 2010 olympics
gaper:seriously
Me:yes
gaper:can i have your autograph
me:no
thats actually awesome! hahaha
Hello!
My Name is Justin.

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raddar$
Karma: 12011
681 Posts
Ridiculous
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Mar 22 2009
1:14:52AM
top of A51 box line yesterday:
little kid to his dad: "those look really big, i dont think i can go over them"
dad: "its ok, you can just go off the sides of the ramps"
Hoss Hard
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ontwosticks
Karma: 48196
922 Posts
Insane
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Mar 22 2009
1:31:59AM
Never thought I would actually get a good one in here, but I got two today.

Dicking around in the little park at loon I hear this like 14 year old kid tell his friends to watch him hit the hip cuz he's really good at the hip. So, I'm like "i really gotta see this" and sure enough he goes 2 feet up the takeoff and pop just enough to get the tips of his skis off the ground before flailing to the ground. It was entertaining to watch.

And then just cruising switch on south peak at the end of the day I go past this older guy and his wife while they're stopped on the side of the run. He looks right at me and says "You're going the wrong way" and proceeds to point at me. I just kinda shrugged and said "I seem to be going just fine" and went along my merry way.
Enjoy college now, because when you graduate. . . it's called "alcoholism".
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eKrieg$
Karma: 282719
6165 Posts
No Life
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Mar 22 2009
1:59:53AM
I get on the beginner chair and I meet this great first timer boarder.
Boarder- So do you do tricks?
Me- I guess.
Boarder- I just started snowboarding. I skate though so it should be easy.
Me- Cool, that would help.
Boarder- There is one thing don't get though, how do you kickflip a snowboard?
Me- That would be hard.
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ski3rbik3r
Karma: 22086
873 Posts
Insane
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Mar 22 2009
2:47:54AM
After building a medium sized kicker into some powder off the beginner hill.....with shovel in hand

gaper: you buildin a jump?
me: no it's a super mogul
gaper: whats that?
me: its like a jump but it forces you to do a triple backflip, wanna take it?
gaper: no, rode away
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[MEGAMO]
Karma: 19480
1232 Posts
Insane
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Mar 22 2009
12:47:04PM
haha, just had a sweet aim convo with this girl who lives in texas and believes that she is good because she comes to colorado once a year but is a huge gaper in denial

sungirl2020 (10:38:40 AM): haha
sungirl2020 (10:38:59 AM): does colorado still have good snow?
canuck and proud (10:39:07 AM): no
canuck and proud (10:39:10 AM): they have snow
canuck and proud (10:39:12 AM): but its been hot
canuck and proud (10:39:14 AM): so its slush
sungirl2020 (10:39:22 AM): oh i like slush
canuck and proud (10:39:23 AM): good spring skiing though, park is awesome with that kind of snow
sungirl2020 (10:39:43 AM): omg iforgot to tell you
sungirl2020 (10:39:46 AM): okay so where we ski
sungirl2020 (10:39:53 AM): like right under the gondola thats where like the snowboard park is
sungirl2020 (10:39:57 AM): but you can obviosuly go on the jumps with skis
sungirl2020 (10:40:10 AM): you know those like weird little plastic metal rectangular things that come off of jumps
sungirl2020 (10:40:19 AM): that you're supposed to like get on then jump off sort of thing? any idea what im saying?
canuck and proud (10:40:27 AM): HAHAHAHAHAHA
canuck and proud (10:40:31 AM): IM SAVING THIS CONVO
canuck and proud (10:40:33 AM): k, go on
canuck and proud (10:40:37 AM): they are called boxes
canuck and proud (10:40:39 AM): you slide on them
sungirl2020 (10:40:39 AM): oh
canuck and proud (10:40:39 AM): lol
sungirl2020 (10:40:41 AM): haha yeah
sungirl2020 (10:40:44 AM): i went on one!!
sungirl2020 (10:40:56 AM): but it took me so much effort to make sure both skis are on them that i didnt jump i just kind of went off of it
sungirl2020 (10:41:00 AM): :(   haha
canuck and proud (10:41:05 AM): haha
canuck and proud (10:41:11 AM): you realize its not just a snowboard park right
sungirl2020 (10:41:13 AM): i was scared to fall off
sungirl2020 (10:41:20 AM): no but it seems easier for snowboarders to get air
sungirl2020 (10:41:26 AM): i mean yeah*
canuck and proud (10:41:29 AM): its really not
canuck and proud (10:41:42 AM): lol
sungirl2020 (10:41:46 AM): i dunno i just usually see snowboarders jumping than skiiers
sungirl2020 (10:41:53 AM): then again snowboarders jus wipe out anyways
canuck and proud (10:41:56 AM): haha

"I pissed on my passport"
Jeff E.
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bappelabb
Karma: 3026
258 Posts
Loner
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Mar 22 2009
3:18:50PM
One day while riding the park, I started to think of this thread and decided to display gaper behavior towards these REAL Gaper-ass snowbladers.

Me: Good lord dude, what the heck are those things on your feet?

Snowblader#1: They are trick-skis!

Me(trying hard not to lose composure): Wauw, that sounds pretty neck-breaking, do you do those giant fly-outs made of snow? (point to kicker), or those corked steele obstructures (point to rail)?

Snowblader#2: Nah man, these are my own pair and they are super expensive, I would not be so stupid and destroy them like that. If I had rentals, I would totally do it.

Me: Sick man, Are you guys pros?

Snowblader #1: No, but practice makes champion!

Me: I need to go get a pair for sure, hey do something crazy of that thing over there! (I point to a flat box)

Snowblader #1: HAH! Too easy man!

Then, they ride after one another while #2 is follow-recording his friend jumping off the side of the step-up!
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rossiskier93$
Karma: 9113
731 Posts
Ridiculous
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Mar 22 2009
5:51:50PM
Quoting Get.Kronk$ from Mar 16 2009 6:58:53:
I was riding the lift at Jackson, looking pretty damn steezy.  Red coat, white pants, empire hat, empire gloves.  I get on with this family of three.   A mom, dad, and little girl (probably about 7 years old).  The man asks me 'So, where you been skiing today?'
"oh, i hiked the headwall twice, then played around in Moran woods for awhile.'  The little girl, in the sweetest voice 'do you do double diamonds?'  'yeah...'     the dad 'how often do you ski?' 
'about 20, 25 days a year'  'are you local?'  'No, i live in boulder.'   The dad, 'my god, that is the life.'  Huge sigh...
i was with you until you said empire hat, empire gloves.  i think empire is rather ugly. just my opinion
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PC.Jibber
Karma: 68884
1671 Posts
Insane
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Mar 22 2009
7:06:14PM
Quoting ski3rbik3r from Mar 22 2009 2:47:54:

gaper: you buildin a jump?
me: no it's a super mogul
gaper: whats that?
me: its like a jump but it forces you to do a triple backflip, wanna take it?
gaper: no, rode away
haha, thats wat im gonna call em ......... sick air off the super mogul....
In the amazing event of crazy deep pow, your skis may be used as a flotation device.

-some really sick powder skis I saw @ the local shop.
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Happy.
Karma: 19067
1260 Posts
Insane
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Mar 23 2009
3:12:10AM
Quoting Turner. from Mar 15 2009 4:45:46:
not really a gaper quote but I was in the singles line at my local mtn which is crawling with gapers and asian tourists that can't speak english.  I got on the lift with some guys and one of 'em is carrying his ski:
liftie:"hey man could you put on your ski"
kid"sorry man some kid let his snowboard go and it sliced off my toe piece"
liftie:"only at grouse"
ahahaha, that was me
"Snake is the epitome of everything badass and manly. He makes Chuck Norris look like a gaping vagina." Motumbo.
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Noah_W$
Karma: 100970
743 Posts
Ridiculous
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Mar 23 2009
3:43:29AM
Quoting TannerCoulter. from Mar 10 2008 9:42:53:
can you do a backflip
lol yep that's the one I hear mostly
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DCman$
Karma: 67397
6443 Posts
No Life
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Mar 23 2009
11:41:23AM

Hyphdog Killyanaire from Henrik Lampert on Vimeo.

-Henrik Lampert
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Aaaron.
Karma: 67885
11304 Posts
Crazy Fool
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Mar 23 2009
11:58:33AM
^win.
what the fuck? i dont understand this canadian bull shit. do he have to
account for inflation? does 1 cad still equal .56 usd? and what about
all of the europeans on this site. did canadians straight up copy
american currency? are there pennies, dimes, quarters, and nickels? and
what about the small pile of brown shit. what the hell are those? also, if your dollar is so weak, then why dont you invest in quarters and dimes?

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[MEGAMO]
Karma: 19480
1232 Posts
Insane
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Mar 23 2009
12:36:40PM
Quoting DCman$ from Mar 23 2009 11:41:23:




Hyphdog Killyanaire from Henrik Lampert on Vimeo.
1:51 and 4:14, hahahahaha

and the bird shit at the end was hilarious
"I pissed on my passport"
Jeff E.
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afton_steeze
Karma: 28059
1748 Posts
Insane
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Mar 23 2009
5:22:22PM

on the gondala with this old dude:

old guy: "your twintippers are quite colorful, who makes them?"
me: [i turned my skis around so he could see armada in huge letters] "they're made by armada".
old guy: "oh, well that must be the names of the skis, but the company must be rossignol," he said as he stroked his skis: rossis.
me: "actually, armada is a relatively new smaller company that makes skis."
old guy: "i'm pretty sure those are made by rossignol."
me: "yeah, maybe the guys at the shop lied to me."
old guy: "must be."

after an awkward silence..

old guy: "i was just out in utah last week, and i saw a whole bunch of young folks out there with these skis almost as wide as snowboards."
me: "you don't say!"
old guy: "i kid you not! i saw a bunch of them with the grim reaper on them... they were so violent and bloody lookin, i made sure i skied on the other side of the mountain... i didn't want to mess with that bunch"
me: "that's a shame."

hellbents scared this old guy off. i was trying so hard not to laugh while listening to this guy talk.

ASK A GIRL CULT: just like ladies men, but more pink. PM me for an invite.
http://newschoolers.com/web/content/viewcult/action/view/id/3268/

ice coast
shreddin creek since '95

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somethin.eazy
Karma: 884
34 Posts
Lame
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Mar 23 2009
7:28:38PM

Gaper- those are sweet skiis, can you go backwards.

me- thx and yeah.

Gaper- yeah i like mine (15yr old riding tecno pro junior race skis) mine were $150 and i got free bindings, snow pants and a coat with them hbu?

Me- um well my bindings were bout 300.

Gaper- oh..

The only limits in life are the ones we place upon ourselves.

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Aaaron.
Karma: 67885
11304 Posts
Crazy Fool
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Mar 23 2009
8:38:15PM
so many of these are obviously made up.
what the fuck? i dont understand this canadian bull shit. do he have to
account for inflation? does 1 cad still equal .56 usd? and what about
all of the europeans on this site. did canadians straight up copy
american currency? are there pennies, dimes, quarters, and nickels? and
what about the small pile of brown shit. what the hell are those? also, if your dollar is so weak, then why dont you invest in quarters and dimes?

  • 0
ski3rbik3r
Karma: 22086
873 Posts
Insane
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Mar 24 2009
12:52:18AM
Quoting Aaaron. from Mar 23 2009 8:38:15:
so many of these are obviously made up.
winner!
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[MEGAMO]
Karma: 19480
1232 Posts
Insane
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Mar 24 2009
1:05:13AM
Quoting Aaaron. from Mar 23 2009 8:38:15:
so many of these are obviously made up.
BLASPHEMER!!!
"I pissed on my passport"
Jeff E.
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Gorno
Karma: 25350
267 Posts
Loner
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Mar 24 2009
3:16:58AM
Quoting Aaaron. from Mar 23 2009 8:38:15:
so many of these are obviously made up.
No.... why would anyone make up stories on the internet to make them look cool? Oh nevermind it's a message board...
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sirmurdah
Karma: 12450
210 Posts
Loner
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Mar 24 2009
8:44:57AM
Quoting Rowen$$ from Mar 12 2008 8:01:13:
After blowing down a untracked chute and 180ing off a bump onto the groomer below, stop to wait for friends and this skier comes by.

40-ish mom - "Well arent you the fanciest little skier!"
was she hot?
www.btnhboard.com/forums/index.php

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Aaaron.
Karma: 67885
11304 Posts
Crazy Fool
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Mar 24 2009
10:01:09AM
Quoting Gorno from Mar 24 2009 3:16:58:
No.... why would anyone make up stories on the internet to make them look cool? Oh nevermind it's a message board...
i wasn't joking.
i just refuse to believe that "every gaper alive" doesn't know that you can own skis.
that is straight up silly.

what the fuck? i dont understand this canadian bull shit. do he have to
account for inflation? does 1 cad still equal .56 usd? and what about
all of the europeans on this site. did canadians straight up copy
american currency? are there pennies, dimes, quarters, and nickels? and
what about the small pile of brown shit. what the hell are those? also, if your dollar is so weak, then why dont you invest in quarters and dimes?

  • 0
BaltoUltimate Bling!
Karma: 435875
24945 Posts
@th1337
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Mar 24 2009
10:11:49AM
this came from tim durtschi's uncle last weekend *claim*

him-hey i saw a kid with blue pants skiing backwards really fast, was that you?!?
me-um ya?
him-you were skiing as fast as Tim does! you should go pro!
me-...thank you?.....
509 headwear www.myspace.com/509headwear 509headwear@gmail.com
  • 0
billferd
Karma: 5352
128 Posts
Pro
icon
Mar 24 2009
11:11:49AM
Quoting sirmurdah from Mar 24 2009 8:44:57:
was she hot?
the only question that ever matters
  • 0
Ben.
Karma: 167195
21470 Posts
@th1337
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Mar 24 2009
2:59:50PM
i got told my skis were "really pretty" by some gaper yesterday. i have bibbys btw.
I am the stone that builder refused I am the visual The inspiration That made lady sing the blues I'm the spark that makes your idea bright The same spark that lights the dark So that you can know your left from your right I am the ballot in your box The bullet in your gun The inner glow that lets you know To call your brother son The story that just begun The promise of what's to come And I'm 'a remain a soldier till the war is won

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