know, know...you must first know. at first you didn't. now you do.
once this truth is present ignorance can have no place. to claim it
would be a lie. not a white lie but a lie that would uproot your
mental foundations at the heart of what you believe. but this is not
the option....because you know. the path is laid out so clearly...so
plainly that to simply look down the path and act not, is to fail. at one point
earlier in life failure was easy. it was safe. you thought nothing of
it. it was your life to fail. before truth, failure is the only
option. now that this is understood, the present is to not only fail,
as failure is ok. there is nothing wrong with it at all. what is not ok is to not succeed.
once success presents itself you must take it. you must snatch it up,
not selfishly, but vehemently...it is there only for you and can be no
one else's. your success is solely yours just as your truth is solely
yours. once you know any truth there is no going back. but there is
regression. to have grown but to feel the lesser is something no one
anticipates. it now becomes the struggle. for once you know you must
maintain. wait, no....to simply maintain doesnt even quite cut it.
you must overacheive to keep you head above the waterline of your new
reality...this is what i desired, what i fantasized about...but i had
no idea it would be accompanied with such a heavy burden. in fact i
had pictured myself coming to these terms through a more calm, simple,
enjoyable at ease sort of way....if only i had taken the blue
pill...but that decision is long gone...buy the ticket, take the ride...