So I was going through some old issues of Freeze today, and in Volume 4, Issue 2 from November 1999, Jeremy Putman of Denver, CO submitted a poem rivaling all literary works that have ever included skiing. I present you now, with:

Three's a Ch-arm

As my shutter hammers...click click click

Another huckster is getting sick

As he rotates through a second spin

The crowd that's gathered - screams again

Done with two - he goes for three

Spinning madly for all to see

One by one they show their stuff

Spinning/grabbing - landing in fluff

The time has come - I spy a tree

A perfect place to take a pee

I make my way with frozen feet

Then I am blesse with a special treat

I see this dude in army drabs

Spinning with multiple grabs

Japan with his left, mute with his right

Amidst a 1080 - an amazing sight

Flying far and super fast

A third arm appears - out of his ass

It grabs the tail of his muted ski

Then gives the finger - then points at me

In disbelief - because of it

I couldn't pee - but nearly shit

I'm appalled and amazed as he flies past

He sucks that arm back up his ass

Everyone screams and grabs their butt

Then goes crazy for that three armed nut

Think of the pain - then understand

Why you pat his back - don't shake his hand

FIN


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