Ten year old Tommy White was told to “ski it off” following a crash that resulted in undisclosed injuries. Ski patrol declined to comment, but a bystander told the Radical Radish that it looked like Tommy was seriously hurt, saying “there was something red on the snow, I think it might have been blood.” The witness continued “I heard the ski patroler saying something about the boy being a ‘no good sidejumper’ and telling him to rub some snow in it and learn to hit a real jump.”

Tommy’s father also commented saying, “I’m glad they didn’t help him, he had it coming.” The resort defended the ski patroller's actions citing the rising costs of providing medical care to those who “weren’t REALLY hurt,” and the overabundance of sidejumpers and other “gapers” in way over their head. A spokesperson backed up the response saying “we’re sick of pussies and gapers calling up ski patrol, if you’re not broken, you’re fine.” The senior staff member continued, “back in my day we didn’t even have ski patrol, the new ‘ski it off policy’ is here to stay!”

Due to his minor status, the Radical Radish did not reach out to Tommy directly, but his father confirms the family’s support for the ski area policy and assures that Tommy will either learn his lesson, or give up skiing in the park because he’s not tough enough.


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