In stunning news, a 3,000 year old man has been discovered frozen alive in the far reaches of northern Norway. After carefully unfreezing him, scientists were surprised to find that despite the incredibly long time he had to think the ice-bound man was still unable to find a way to describe skiing powder. The scientists remarked, “skiing has been around for about 5,000 years, you’d think we could have figured it out by now.” Found in a receding glacier, this ice man, represents the best opportunity in modern times to finally go beyond the cliches of “weightless” and “floating,” but alas powder skiing is set to be an “indescribable” feeling for a little while longer. The scientists continue, “we’re thinking about putting him back in the ice, to give him some more time to think.”


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