“America is a global leader, we can’t sit by idly as halfpipe skiing turns into aerials,” President Obama said in a press conference on Friday. The Obama administration has decided that enough is enough, vetoing the planned Keystone XL halfpipe. “30’ is 8’ too many, we do not need triples in the pipe. There are still so many unexplored singles and doubles. Style over tech,” Obama continued.
The Keystone XL halfpipe has been in the works for the last seven years, with proponents claiming the creation of hundreds of jobs over the next five years. Following the great American success stories at the 2014 Winter Olympics President Obama has been an avid follower of freeskiing. Inspired by the style of skiers like Torin Yater-Wallace and Joffrey Pollet Villard Obama has decided to stop the madness and not risk exporting great achievements to Canadians like Mike Riddle, who has been training triples into airbags for years now.
This rejection has brought quick condemnation from Republican House speaker Paul Ryan and others. Ryan released a statement saying “This decision isn’t surprising, but it is sickening. A true waste of potential progression in American and global freeskiing.” Keystone resort has released a statement calling the decision “disappointing.”