“Enough of the spin to win bullshit,” Joe Biden was heard muttering as he snuck into the Oval Office on Tuesday. In a last-ditch effort to keep style in skiing the lame duck Vice President Biden took things into his own hands, forging President Obama’s signature on an executive order banning quads from skiing and snowboarding. Biden was caught in the act shortly after yelling “fire!” and running to Obama’s desk. As Obama pulled the tall-tee clad VP from his desk, Biden huffed “I swear to god, if Goepper or some Swiss ballerina wins the Olympics, I’m going to jump off a bridge, and it’s going to be all your fault.”
President Obama, has not yet decided if he will honor the order carrying Biden’s false mark. Biden has continued to voice his support, telling the Radical Radish “this could be the Bidenator’s legacy. Henrik is so fucking sick, did you see BE Inspired? We can’t let Trump and the Republicans take that away!”
Obama has since released a statement that reads, “we will take every measure to ensure style stays in skiing, I respect Joe’s opinion, but all skiers matter. This is an administration that will stand for all skiers, poles or no poles, tall tees or tight pants.” Since the incident Biden has not left his room in protest.