JAHpowJust another example of media overhype. When I was leaving to go to Haiti in March people were all worried that I was going to get sick and/or die. Our doctor going along on the trip told us there was absolutely nothing to worry about. We got there and our mission team leaders stationed in Haiti said there hadn't been a single report of deformed babies being born or really anything about Zika.
Yeah, that's pretty standard.
Oh shit I forgot about the bathsalt zombie thing. That was another "errmagerrrd we're gonna die" thing just not as big.
When I hear people talk about this shit like it's really something to be terrified of, well facepalm.
It would be a fun job though. Come up with the next wave of hysteria.
Masturbating using lotion will make your dick fall off.
Water. Could your next glass really be your last?
News 69 reports a growing and disturbing trend in disease. Hydration, a new and sometimes deadly reaction to drinking water is being seen widespread across the south. "Our communities are in panic. We just don't know where to turn" said a pastor at a local church.
Drinking even 1 glass of water could cause hydration.
News 69 does not want to scare anyone BUT IF YOU DRINK WATER YOURE GUARANTEED TO DIE!!!!!
YOURE GONNA DIE
YOUR BABY IS GOING TO DIE
YOUR MOM IS GOING TO DIE
JESUS ALREADY DIED(Not that Jesus, the landscaper at your neighbors house. But the other Jesus is dead too)
YOUR CAT WILL DIE
EVERYONE THAT DRINKS WATER WILL DIE!!!!!!!!!
We would like the public to remain calm and stay tuned for further updates.