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My Friend wrote a short story.
My cool friend wrote this short Story. I loved it.
Earlier today I ate a whole tomato like an apple... The difference I found out however is that there is no core in it like an apple? I felt uneasy. Untrusting... Panicked, even. I pondered that thought for a moment... My brow furrowing... The difference...? What difference? Both red. Skin smooth. "Not like an apple..." I breathed... Not like, an... Apple? Did I know that before? I did? Didn't I? Didn't...? I? My mind wandering, now racing... Evermore frantic... Corking... Uncorking... Turning... I stopped myself. "Fruits? I reckon...". I was staring now... My brain piecing together so many names, faces... People I had once been... How could I have been so vain? Was I even being fair to myself? I felt betrayed by my memories... So many tomatoes, so many apples... Tomatoes... Apples... Why would I assume things? I hadn't? Had I? I stared down at this half eaten thing, this half eaten red... Thing. It was in this moment of utter fixation that I took "the bite"... The bite that took me clean through into the middle where a core may have once been... Clean... And out the other side that hit me like a bus. An uncompromising, 'I'm not making it into work today' fucking bus mate. There was no core. Straight up. The tomato a senseless fucking legend to behold. I spun it wildly up into the air... Marveling... It all made sense.
"The tomato" by simon. Taken from short stories post 2000 collected works
That was worse than snorting fire ants while fucking a ghost pepper bareback.
"i would love to know skierman's career NS roast record
probably skierman: 9834502374509283745027093478502
everyone else: .25"
"you remain the newschoolers king!"
Tell your friend to eat the apple core like a man.
Crotch vents keep em cool.
The fuck did i just read... it makes so much sense tho.
whoa tell him to settle down.
It really doesnt matter if Im wrong Im right where I belong Im right where I belong
Is this even a short story? Just seems like a shitty monologue
There once was a goon from nantucket,
Who tossed a cork 9, and he stuck it.
He saw the rep from line,
who said it looked almost divine,
But then told him to try not to huck it.
sparknotes: guy gets baked and eats a tomato instead of an apple by accident, becomes paranoid.
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