Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Mattress Troubles

profile picture
CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
I seem to be in a little trouble here. Over the weekend with all this rain we are getting on the east coast we have a lot of mud laying around. I was partying out in the fields and must have gotten so messed up that I actually came home, walked up stairs and passed out with my boots on in my bed.

It was a disaster, mud was everywhere and by the time i woke up it was dry and crusted all over my bed.

I took my sheets off and cleaned them saturday, and slept in the bed that night. However when I woke up the next morning, a mixture of mud and sand had surfaced from where I can only guess was my mattress.

Next step was to flip my mattress over and shake it until nothing else came out. So my roommate and I did. This was pretty surprising to me because I found a ton of old ski stuff that was actually stuck in some of the rips in my mattress. A facemask, and a glove that I thought I left at a mountain were in there! But that's not the point.

Last night I fell asleep with new sheets, and a shaken out mattress. This morning, I was covered in little pieces of sand and dirt. More than the night before!

What is happening NS? What is this fresh hell?

HELP!
POLL
Edit Poll
Votes:

Take care when editing a poll; Options should be similar to maintain vote integrity.

More options will be added automatically as you type. You must supply a question and at least two options. No HTML is allowed.

Jan 11 2016 4:50PM
31 0
profile picture
270on420out
Posts: 7492 - Karma: 50,771
You should clean it by throwing it into a swimming pool.
Jan 11 2016 4:51PM
13 0
profile picture
cydwhit
Posts: 5065 - Karma: 42,823
Gonna need to use a crane to get it out of the swimming pool.
Jan 11 2016 4:56PM
3 0
profile picture
Caucasian_Asian
Posts: 2447 - Karma: 1,665
You got drunk and pooped in your bed.
Jan 11 2016 5:01PM
6 0
profile picture
DrZoidberg
Posts: 5674 - Karma: 4,227
Alright... Just as long as they've got the pool situation covered then we're all good here. I know a guy who rents cranes if you're gonna need that.

But really, vacuum?
Jan 11 2016 5:04PM
2 0
profile picture
OregonDead
Posts: 6789 - Karma: 23,495
Start saving for a new mattress. Until then I would use a broom or brush to sweep off the mattress vigorously. Seems like more sand surfaces whenever you compress the mattress so maybe try walking around on it while sweeping it will get more sand out.
Jan 11 2016 5:13PM
1 0
profile picture
CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
THEDIRTYBUBBLEYou should clean it by throwing it into a swimming pool.


cydwhitGonna need to use a crane to get it out of the swimming pool.


DrZoidbergAlright... Just as long as they've got the pool situation covered then we're all good here. I know a guy who rents cranes if you're gonna need that.


This is a great idea, unfortunately I do not own a swimming pool or a crane, so I am going to need that number there for the crane rental. Also, if someone would let me borrow their swimming pool? It's not for the mattress thing, it's for something else.
Jan 11 2016 5:30PM
1 0
profile picture
cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
have you tried getting super messed up and sleeping in muddy boots again?
Jan 11 2016 6:41PM
2 0
profile picture
CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
cool_namehave you tried getting super messed up and sleeping in muddy boots again?


Hm, I see. Kind of like fighting fire with fire. I'll try this before I go out of the way to rent a crane, and sneak into someone's backyard to dunk my mattress into their pool.
Jan 11 2016 8:27PM
1 0
profile picture
freestyler540
Posts: 13044 - Karma: 18,268
-Change your sheets
-Dust busters
-flip your matress
Jan 11 2016 8:37PM
1 0
profile picture
Dddsz
Posts: 3042 - Karma: 7,328
Go to a boot fitter
Jan 11 2016 9:30PM
8 0
profile picture
CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
I'm laying in bed right now and can't fall asleep because of the overwhelming discomfort caused by sand and dirt stuck between my toes.

Crane shopping time. This mattress isn't leaving my life I have had so many good times on it. My first 3 some for example, that was exciting!

Also my mattress and I survived a night of stairway sledding, with only minor injuries.

I can't give up on it, because it has never given up on me.
Jan 11 2016 11:33PM
1 0
profile picture
Zypher
Posts: 2336 - Karma: 2,268
Buy full tilts, protect your sandy feet
Jan 12 2016 1:41AM
1 0
profile picture
CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
If sleeping in dirty boots made your mattress dirty, the only logical solution I see is to sleep in clean boots. No?
Jan 12 2016 10:37AM
1 0
profile picture
Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1833 - Karma: 1,880
Clean the sand from your vagina while you're at it.
Jan 12 2016 10:44AM
1 0
profile picture
.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,466
Idk how to get rid of the dirt but if you cutt off your feet you can prevent this from happening again
Jan 12 2016 10:55AM
3 0
profile picture
Young_patty
Posts: 3237 - Karma: 36,683
When your roommates gone simply take his clean(er) matress and leave yours in its place
Jan 12 2016 11:14AM
0 0
profile picture
ModMommy
Posts: 10718 - Karma: 55,304
vacuum it
Jan 12 2016 4:12PM
1 0
profile picture
CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
I have given up all hope on cleaning this thing. If I try to vacuum it, the stuffing will all come out and the springs will pop through. There are tears in it. I have decided to buy 3 rolls of saran wrap and cover my mattress with it. Making sure to get every spot twice or maybe even 3 times. Then I got a blow dryer from the girls room next door and heated it up until it is all sealed and preserved. It works with sandwiches and things, so why not mattresses? Its really loud when I sit on it, or move around on it. I'm going to have to start teaching myself how to sleep as still as possible. Even breathing makes noise.
Jan 12 2016 9:14PM
1 0
profile picture
Sounder
Posts: 96 - Karma: 95
Steezy.jpegI have given up all hope on cleaning this thing. If I try to vacuum it, the stuffing will all come out and the springs will pop through. There are tears in it. I have decided to buy 3 rolls of saran wrap and cover my mattress with it. Making sure to get every spot twice or maybe even 3 times. Then I got a blow dryer from the girls room next door and heated it up until it is all sealed and preserved. It works with sandwiches and things, so why not mattresses? Its really loud when I sit on it, or move around on it. I'm going to have to start teaching myself how to sleep as still as possible. Even breathing makes noise.

Boom. www.shopbedding.com/vinyl-mattress-cover-with-zipper-6-gauge.html?ft_id=23%7C148%7C54163075&gclid=Cj0KEQiAq920BRC8-efn57XrotYBEiQAlVlMQyPPnEBWM4uSdyXNE5PDrJcD-g83HnUMBMLYVfYp3EkaAqxU8P8HAQ probably cheaper then three rolls of saran wrap. Shits expensive.
Jan 15 2016 12:26AM
0 0
profile picture
Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
Those aren't mattress problems, those are "I'm being spooned by a homeless man whilst I sleep" problems.
Jan 15 2016 1:40AM
0 0
profile picture
elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,972
Just call the topless maid service, watch how they clean it and from then on if it happens again you'll know who to call.
Mar 5 2020 3:10AM
1 0
profile picture
SofaKingSick
Posts: 8902 - Karma: 57,287
The referenced post has been removed.


it's been 4 years. we can safely assume he perfected sleeping perfectly still on his sandwich-wrapped mattress and it's all good!
Mar 5 2020 10:42AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)