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I Know Why Park Skiers Have a Bad Name

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CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
People all across the Internet,and even in person have been aware of the bad name that park skiers have. "They're hoodlums! Inconsiderate and unsafe! They also seem to get angry at us 'normal' skiers with no reasoning at all!" Said one mom at my home mountain after she was confronted for snaking a 34 person line, cutting a skier off, and going off the side of a jump at a very slow speed.

Look no further inconsiderate and ignorant mom! I have figured out the source of the problem!

Unless you have some sort of unnatural disability when you show up and park at the mountain you're in a good mood! The average park skier dresses in the tallest of their T, and locks in his boots. Snapping on his/her signature twin tip skis they find the line to the lift to the nearest park.

Now this is where it starts, you're in the mood... About to do some laps to warm up, and get your head in the game... You may even go as far as to put in some headphones!

When you suddenly feel this sense that something is pushing your skis... Almost like there is a slope forming in front of you and you're moving forward slowly gaining speed. Then it stops, starts again, and stops. Like in jolts. Curiosity spikes, what could it be?

Only to be that mom, standing behind you, unknowing of the struggles of twin tip skis.



picture of mom^

THIS IS WHY. Gapers push their tips against the back tips of twin tip skiers. This pisses me off so much, and everyone I know feels the same. I want to go ape shit on whoever does this to me but I know with all the kids around, it wouldn't make anything better. Especially to the falling reputation of those "Tall T wearing hooligans! who really don't deserve the privilege to ski on our 'otherwise perfect' mountain."

So let's skip ahead, the same mom hits that side of the jump after snaking everyone. Who took the first shot? T'was her Newschoolers, T'was her. There is justification for freaking out on her right??

Anyway here is the solution.



It's pretty good right? Simple.. Gets the point across... I'm going to put this to use next weekend and I'll get back to you Newschoolers.
POLL
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Jan 9 2016 9:16PM
440 49
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e~b
Posts: 861 - Karma: 2,733
this is radical rash on drugs
Jan 9 2016 9:21PM
42 0
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addie.
Posts: 350 - Karma: 1,430
what the fuck did i just read
Jan 9 2016 9:22PM
49 0
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schusson
Posts: 442 - Karma: 588
addie.what the fuck did i just read


.
Jan 9 2016 9:26PM
2 4
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Bogs
Posts: 4296 - Karma: 1,361
addie.what the fuck did i just read


.
Jan 9 2016 9:31PM
1 12
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cdip
Posts: 1563 - Karma: 2,449
Whenever a jerry steps on the back off my skis, i stop my music, put my goggles up, turn around, and lazer eye beam that fucker with a death stare till they apologize.
Jan 9 2016 9:33PM
47 0
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UilyJeff
Posts: 394 - Karma: 1,480
addie.what the fuck did i just read



.
Jan 9 2016 9:36PM
4 1
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bait
Posts: 1226 - Karma: 3,579
Steezy.jpegSo let's skip ahead, the same mom hits that side of the jump after snaking everyone. Who took the first shot? T'was her Newschoolers, T'was her. There is justification for freaking out on her right??

Anyway here is the solution.



It's pretty good right? Simple.. Gets the point across... I'm going to put this to use next weekend and I'll get back to you Newschoolers.


Please put these into production. They are a beutiful work of art, and the most useful thing i have ever seen.
Jan 9 2016 9:37PM
13 0
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Zurg
Posts: 1486 - Karma: 4,700
Send it into j
Jan 9 2016 10:43PM
12 2
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CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
ZurgSend it into j


OH SHIT that is an awesome idea!
Jan 9 2016 10:54PM
11 0
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gnar_whal
Posts: 1286 - Karma: 3,787
ZurgSend it into j


Nah send it into On3p instead. If you had it on a j the tail would break after your third time skiing so it wouldn't do much good
Jan 9 2016 11:10PM
41 3
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Zurg
Posts: 1486 - Karma: 4,700
gnar_whalNah send it into On3p instead. If you had it on a j the tail would break after your third time skiing so it wouldn't do much good


I like it... What if we got every company to put it on their park skis?
Jan 9 2016 11:26PM
12 0
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japanada
Posts: 13784 - Karma: 1,957
i just lift my skis up and slam my tails down as if i was testing my binding retention before hitting a big feature. Im make sure I cover at least 6 inches of their skis with mine.
Jan 10 2016 12:29AM
24 0
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Dddsz
Posts: 3042 - Karma: 7,328
I was getting major hate at the hill for having the praying skull thing on my ON3P kartels. Lots of moms think it's offensive and against their religion or some shit.
Jan 10 2016 12:48AM
28 0
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..=
Posts: 548 - Karma: 1,224
TheGreenRoom, is that you? This is why everyone should consider the #stopskiing trend
Jan 10 2016 1:13AM
1 3
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JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
I'm at the point with my current equipment where I really couldn't care less if people run over my tails in lines. However, late last year when I just got a new pair of Nordicas some guy pretty much full on carved across my skis and in doing so stripped the top sheet down to the core right in front of my toe piece.


If you can't control yourself, don't go mach 1 into the lift line.
Jan 10 2016 1:29AM
1 1
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APunx176
Posts: 1189 - Karma: 2,628
japanadai just lift my skis up and slam my tails down as if i was testing my binding retention before hitting a big feature. Im make sure I cover at least 6 inches of their skis with mine.


I do something similar. I'll put my tails over the front of their skis and just kinda sit there not moving until they say something
Jan 10 2016 4:17AM
1 0
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Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,656
Op.I was getting major hate at the hill for having the praying skull thing on my ON3P kartels. Lots of moms think it's offensive and against their religion or some shit.


My god i hope youre joking
Jan 10 2016 4:29AM
15 0
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Rennis_Deynolds
Posts: 2739 - Karma: 19,061
more pics of mom?
Jan 10 2016 7:58AM
35 0
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90053
Posts: 2565 - Karma: 3,728
Pics of OPs mom needed
Jan 10 2016 8:41AM
2 12
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CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
addie.what the fuck did i just read


The scratchings of a confused and depressed skier, did you like it?
Jan 10 2016 11:42AM
2 0
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Nikolaus
Posts: 863 - Karma: 995
i will start to do this. thank you op.
Jan 10 2016 11:51AM
1 0
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steeze4days
Posts: 358 - Karma: 1,948
Was going to answer your poll but then i saw it had 69 votes..

You know what to do OP.
Jan 10 2016 1:09PM
1 0
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addie.
Posts: 350 - Karma: 1,430
Steezy.jpegThe scratchings of a confused and depressed skier, did you like it?


I think I did?
Jan 10 2016 1:31PM
0 0
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CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
addie.I think I did?


I'll take it as a yes! Dinner some time?
Jan 10 2016 5:27PM
9 0
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207
Posts: 8969 - Karma: 3,846
Me and my two friends got yelled at this weekend at Sunday River by a out of state flatlander couple for "cutting the line" when in reality, we were going into the singles line and the ropes for the entrance to the actual line were setup like 200ft uphill. So basically this flatlander couple unknowingly snakes the line, and then yells at us for going into the proper line. When I told them that we were going into the singles line and the other line started further uphill they began cursing us out. Real classy.
Jan 10 2016 5:31PM
2 0
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cydwhit
Posts: 5065 - Karma: 42,823
Huh? People step on the backs of non-twinned skis too, and snowboards. Does this really grind people's gears? What?

If that's true than I'm about ready to despair.
Jan 10 2016 5:47PM
5 1
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,452
addie.what the fuck did i just read


^This


OP. If you're reading this. Did you even go to the mountain this weekend or are you just waking up from a coma you put yourself in from partying to hard on friday night?
Jan 10 2016 7:50PM
3 1
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,452
Also I've never really cared if people step on my gear. Oh god, I'm going to hit hit grinderbarz, or some urban ledge but GOD PLEASE STOP SOMEBODY FROM TOUCHING THEIR SKI TO MINE!!!!!

If I see OP in the lift line I'm going to quickly sharpen my edges and stomp all over his tails. Or just carve my initials in there. "Borty was here. PS: Fuck yo skis!"


The lift line is serious biznessss
Jan 10 2016 7:53PM
5 3
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freestyler540
Posts: 13046 - Karma: 18,292
I was bored until I saw that sticker. Where can I get some???
Jan 10 2016 9:23PM
0 0
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Dddsz
Posts: 3042 - Karma: 7,328
Chubz.My god i hope youre joking


I wish I was joking. Everything is offensive nowadays, I'm used to it.
Jan 10 2016 9:28PM
1 0
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_salty_
Posts: 672 - Karma: 1,034
freestyler540I was bored until I saw that sticker. Where can I get some???


I'll make some
Jan 11 2016 9:36AM
1 0
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razors-chaz
Posts: 2255 - Karma: 1,250
given i'm now mostly riding on handmade prototypes this grinds my gears so much. fucking jerries all up on my tails with their rental gear, not giving a fuck. my first port of call is the death glare, followed by a kind, "can you not do that please" following that I will push back a little and let my tails go up over their noses and jump up and down. generally people leave you alone after that, sometimes ive felt like decking people over it. just because you have total disregard for your equipment doesnt mean i dont care about totally unnecessary damage to my skis.
Jan 11 2016 10:01AM
1 0
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jeremyo13
Posts: 493 - Karma: 288
disappoined at the lack of mom comments in this thread. op delivers the pic and we drop the ball. good on you op for having a mom thats real decent. carry on
Jan 11 2016 4:59PM
2 0
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Gryllz
Posts: 483 - Karma: 1,204
holy fuck i just read this thread and lost my shit in the middle of science class and the teacher looks like hes about to stomp my tails
Jan 11 2016 5:01PM
4 0
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last_tango
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 2,665
207Me and my two friends got yelled at this weekend at Sunday River by a out of state flatlander couple for "cutting the line" when in reality, we were going into the singles line and the ropes for the entrance to the actual line were setup like 200ft uphill. So basically this flatlander couple unknowingly snakes the line, and then yells at us for going into the proper line. When I told them that we were going into the singles line and the other line started further uphill they began cursing us out. Real classy.

Use to put flatlanders on the dankest of dank ganjolas. They at least give some nice up skirt shots in the summer time for weddings.
Jan 11 2016 6:59PM
0 0
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Brewnt
Posts: 65 - Karma: 484
I think that we are forgetting when we were once little kids who just wanted to go off some jumps and I am sure at one point or another we hit some peoples tails so my solution is that we as a people need to calm down and just GIVE THEM THE FUCKING DEATH STARE.
Jan 11 2016 8:45PM
0 0
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_salty_
Posts: 672 - Karma: 1,034
Alright well I made those stickers if you want one pm me.
Jan 11 2016 9:05PM
9 0
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skiguy04
Posts: 1572 - Karma: 1,028
if somebody is in your way, just hit the feature anyways. you're doing everyone a favour
Jan 11 2016 9:12PM
0 0
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CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
_salty_Alright well I made those stickers if you want one pm me.


A God amongst men you are.
Jan 11 2016 9:24PM
2 0
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Thegratefulskier
Posts: 338 - Karma: 918
The tails of my skis are so hacked from that literally everyone at my mountain is a gaper
Jan 11 2016 9:41PM
3 0
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CashForToast
Posts: 265 - Karma: 2,447
reggaeshark420The tails of my skis are so hacked from that literally everyone at my mountain is a gaper


Tell them you know where they live. If they scratch your skis again, you will destroy the nearest pizza place, shit on their doorstep, empty their house onto their lawn when they're on vacation. You will cut a hole in the side of their pool, slash their cars tires, then after that prank call them acting like your a relative who is about to die. They won't make it in time because of the slashed tires. Problem solved amiright?
Jan 12 2016 7:01AM
0 0
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freestyler540
Posts: 13046 - Karma: 18,292
_salty_Alright well I made those stickers if you want one pm me.

I see much karma coming your way. Really dont want to impose anything, but would it be possible to add the NS logo? Either way, I want 6!
Jan 12 2016 8:05AM
0 0
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Thegratefulskier
Posts: 338 - Karma: 918
_salty_Alright well I made those stickers if you want one pm me.


This is amazing
Jan 12 2016 8:18AM
0 0
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Casey
Posts: 7785 - Karma: 23,466
it sounds like your just randomly deciding that your going to get upset over something that 99% of people inadvertently do. I've caught myself doing it to people and I sometimes notice people hitting me in line. Don't be that guy that is like, OMGZ my precious topsheets!!! Lame.
Jan 12 2016 8:18PM
0 0
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yungsteeze
Posts: 673 - Karma: 1,969
it doesnt really bother me much when it happens but when i feel something touching my skis i automatically turn around to see what it is and jerry usually looks at me through his orange smith goggles and says sorry and i go along on my way.
Jan 13 2016 3:49PM
1 1
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Jewschoolers
Posts: 1785 - Karma: 1,142
Honestly OP pretty much all of the time it's an accident. You could just politely say something instead of being a total dingus. Have some perspective, it's just aesthetic
Jan 13 2016 7:51PM
0 0
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EvanMeyer
Posts: 3803 - Karma: 3,232
Taking lsd and sitting in a trash can is far more entertaining than skiing. That is if you pick the right trash can.
Jan 13 2016 9:53PM
2 1
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Illumilama
Posts: 4 - Karma: 370
We've made these stickers, I think they are kind of fitting.
Jan 14 2016 5:26AM
1 0
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Hoodliving
Posts: 1033 - Karma: 1,873
Like some others also, I give the death glare then stomp my skis on theirs, the next step is put your ski between theirs and swing your foot left and right almost guarantee top sheet chip on theirs. My favorite one I have done was act like I was gonna slide forward then used my poles to nose press hard and the gaper skied his belly into my tails and I snapped em down on his toe pieces he was so pissed.


_salty_Alright well I made those stickers if you want one pm me.


IllumilamaWe've made these stickers, I think they are kind of fitting.


I need both! One on the left one on the right. 10 of ea. Will buy pm me
Jan 14 2016 7:02AM
0 0
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