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March, 2024

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Holiday Gaper Experiences

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gehret
Posts: 6 - Karma: 61
I spent this past weekend at a "family-oriented resort" for New Years with some friends because one of my buddies has a cabin there and as was to be expected the gapers were in full force.

There were many notable encounters with them however one in particular stands out from the rest. Me and my friends were messing around on our way to the park and we were all hitting this small tranny in a pretty open area at very low speeds because it was mostly flat. I was the last in our line and decided I was going to boost it without popping up and just land squatted to look extra stupid. I executed my plan and landed more backseat than anticipated so I just rode it out lazyboy for an unnecessary distance but as I un-lazyboyed I noticed the sound of someone riding pretty close behind me so I looked back only to see a large middle aged man in jeans and a windbreaker pizzaing to slow down to tell me something. He then informed me in a thick Texas accent that he had caught my "trick" on his chest-mounted GoPro and that he could send me the footy, but he chuckled and frenchfried off before I could say anything. Realizing he had just burned me I looked around in disbelief for my friends hoping that they had witnessed this but they were gone and to my dismay I was greeted only by one-piece suits, obscenely long poles, and goggle bands stretched thinly over rented helmets giggling and riding slowly past as I pulled myself up and brushed the snow off my tall tees. And it was in this moment that I was the gaper.

Feel free to share your own gaper run-ins/encounters/frustrations from this holiday season. I have plenty of other stories as well if anyone wants to read those too.
Jan 6 2016 5:31AM
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Static
Posts: 8484 - Karma: 4,033
I pointed out a bald eagle sitting on a tree to some Texan, the guy asked me how long he'd been there.
Jan 6 2016 7:56AM
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ascent_studios
Posts: 2157 - Karma: 4,578
I was nosebuttering along some flat ground and some guy cut me off. As i tried to stop I caught my edge and as I fell he started laughing at me.
Jan 6 2016 8:20AM
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Ranch
Posts: 742 - Karma: 1,030
my friend and I were going through the lift line. pizzaing down the mountain is this bald 40 year old in a pink and blue onesie. He gets to the line and comes in right behind us. as we go through the line, the guy keeps getting his tips caught on the line ropes. he fell like 8 times before we were at the end of the lift line. my friend and I get on and we are not even through the first pole( I don't know what you call them) when we stop. we look back and Mr. pink onesie is laying flat on his chest with the lift seat right over him. gotta love the holidays
Jan 6 2016 9:13AM
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CabbyArrant
Posts: 779 - Karma: 4,120
Was at my home mountain yesterday and there was a group of like 15 gapers pizzaing down a green slope. All of them in jeans and hoodies. well whenever one of them fell down and slid part of the way down the slope they would leave blue streaks in the snow. The dye from their jeans was bleeding onto the snow
Jan 6 2016 11:03AM
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macavity
Posts: 264 - Karma: 493
I have a pretty similar story actually. gotta love the holiday gaper fests.

I went skiing this past new years with a crew of friends. one of my friends is a total gaper, but we all felt bad not inviting him. there was a lot of hill between the top of the lift and the park, so we found natural bumps and trannies and ripped it the entire way down-- that is, except for our gaper friend. we ended up having to wait for him almost every 2 minutes as he skied falling out of control and skiing backseat while trying to catch up to us.

then the most gaper moment happened.

we all trained this little tranny, and our gaper friend was last in line since he was so prone to falling. we did our jumps and turned around to watch our gaper friend. he straightlined it into the tranny, didn't pop at all, and landed so backseat he almost washed out. we looked around in anguish, praying no one witnessed this atrocity. just when we thought we were in the clear, we see a texan skiing over to him with a gopro mounted on his chest. the texan then burned our friend and skied away, chuckling to himself after seeing one of the most moronic things to have happened in skiing history. embarrassed as all hell to be seen with this guy, my friends and I averted our eyes and skied away quickly, hoping no one had noticed us with such a gaper. it was then that another group of gapers skied down around him, and with goggles over oversized helmets and poles to their nipples they assimilated him into their gaper brigade.

we haven't seen him since that incident.
Apr 19 2016 1:58AM
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chemiskier
Posts: 260 - Karma: 319
macavityI have a pretty similar story actually. gotta love the holiday gaper fests.


I can attest to this.
Apr 19 2016 2:00AM
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gehret
Posts: 6 - Karma: 61
macavityit was then that another group of gapers skied down around him, and with goggles over oversized helmets and poles to their nipples they assimilated him into their gaper brigade.

we haven't seen him since that incident.


I am become gaper, destroyer of lips
Apr 19 2016 6:45PM
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macavity
Posts: 264 - Karma: 493
gehretI am become gaper, destroyer of lips


Apr 19 2016 7:09PM
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