I saw the "Honest Slogans" thread a while ago. I thought it'd be funny to make honest slogans for skiers themselves. Here is what I've come up with so far. Feel free to comment more.
Tanner Hall: THE WEED IS SO LOUD I TYPE EVERYTHING IN CAPS
Tim Durtschi: Everything is a joke to me. Also follow me on snapchat.
Simon Dumont: I take myself way too seriously.
Gus Kenworthy: I like puppies. And men.
Bobby Brown: Breck is currently on their knees for me.
David Wise: I'm currently raising a child and I still ski pipe better than you.
Henrik Harlaut: ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
David Lesh: The girls in my videos aren't actually that hot.
Shane McConkey: I'm gonna rip the shit out of everything forever. Also, I'm definitely better than you.
Jossi Wells: You think I give a fuck about Olympic slopestyle?
Jesper Tjader: Did you know I'm sponsored by Redbull?
Tom Wallisch: I'll never ever stop afterbanging.
Chris Laker: I don't give a single fuck about the physics of spinning.
Candide Thovex: Get on my level.