I don't know about you, but I have always really enjoyed the short phrases that old people seem to use to describe just about anything. This thread is for posting of such, so that I can build my library and use them.
Examples of ones I have heard.
He's lower than a freight trained nickel.
It's colder than a witches tit out here.
I'm looking for phrases, so don't bore me with stories of your grandma.
"I'm not acting like anything. I'd lick any of their assholes. I'll fuck a below average chick as well. Doesn't mean I'm not going to give you my real opinion."