The last time we had a massive, explosive, holy shit eruption was Pinatubo in 1991. This shit was so massive, that global temps decreased by half a degree C, and almost a full degree F... Shit was legit, and it was followed with some pretty epic ski years thereafter in many places around the globe. In California, though, it didn't directly effect Tahoe too well, but Southern California had some fucking banger seasons in the early 1990's. Mt. Baldy was going OFF with some insane pinapple express shit, and I remember my dad hopping flights down to LA (where he somehow commuted to from here at the time) with his skis so he could shred night pow less than an hour above the lights of Hollywood...
Even back in the 1980's there was some cooling in the Northern Hemisphere due to Mt. St. Helens, as it's ash wrapped around earth, hemispheric temps cooled, especially the further north you went, but it lead to some gnarly shit in the next couple years thereafter - especially in the northeast, Canada, and nordic countries. Overall, the early 1980's were solid years almost everywhere up here, possibly thanks in part to some Mt. St. Helens sorta destroying southwestern Washington and blanketing everything east of it up to Idaho in some sweet sweet tephra
but what I'm talking about isn't a Pinatubo or a Mt. St. Helens... hell, i'm not even talking about an 1883 Krakatoa event - one that was a bit bigger than Pinatubo, i'm talking about a fucking colossal event like the Tambora volcano in 1815.
Tambora was an Indonesian volcano that popped it's top off so fucking hard you could hear it from 1500 miles away. That's like something happening in LA, and then somehow being able to hear it in fuckin Kansas City. Shit would break your eardrums worse than letting Keith Moon use them as actual drums on his actual set that was filled with too much Dynamite that exploded on the Smothers Brothers show.
We're talking an explosion so massive, that it creates it's own magnetic field... you'd need the entire American and Soviet Nuclear Arsenals combined to create an explosion that massive. Like maybe 1500 megatons kinda big.
It was so big, that they call the next year the "Year without a summer". It lead to crazy ass shit. Crop failures, and famines and holocaustal snowstorms that have yet to have been seen since.
Lets just say, that it would have the potential to create some Captain Insano storms that would make a big year at Mt. Baker look like a walk in the park - only they'd take place in the mountains of LA.
France froze so hard that they say wine pre 1815 is the best there could ever have been, because it altered the soil or something to the point where it's not as good anymore.. Shit, there are stories about Upstate New York being so cold that the ground was frozen for the 4th of July! STRAIGHT UP 200 YEARS AGO TO THIS DAY, ALBANY, PLATTSBURGH, SYRACUSE, ROCHESTER, YOU ALL WOULD HAVE BEEN BLOWING UP FIREWORKS JUST TO STAY WARM...
Thomas Jefferson went into debt, there was river ice in Scranton, PA, and Europe, still reeling from the Napoleanic wars, went into freefall economically. Europeans bitched out hardcore and seemingly everyone jumped on a boat to America. The USA even created some new states to cope with the onslaught of folks.. a new state every year for the next 6 years - there hadn't been a new state for 4 years until 1816, and after 1821, there wouldn't be a new one till 1836!
Canada was colder than even people in Canada could imagine, and Russia may not have even existed for a few years because it went into cryogenic timefreeze. Seriously, the entire country probably thought it was still 1815 when it was actually 1819. Shit fucking actually set them back a few years I bet.
Some Germans and French were so fed up with how slow everything was going as far as agriculture and really, life in general, is concerned, that they worked to create forerunners to the Bicycle because horses were useless as shit in the cold.
Mary Shelly was even compelled to write Frankenstein because she spent way too much time indoors thinking about scary shit while being out from the relentless wet and cold.
Basically, the event mother fucked the earth so hard that it changed society. We need another one of these... endless winter for everybody for a few years? Yes plz.
Somebody tell Mt. Chimborazo in Ecuador to stop being an asshole and blow up already...
Blow up already, you bitch!
