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theabortionatorhttps://www.newschoolers.com/cultforum/5534/Mental-Health-Cult?page=1
One kid did in my high school but I wasn't tight with him. Honestly feel like I've been battling it personally since 12 or 13. Sometimes I have a a little while maybe even 6 months where for the most part everything seems to be going alright. Sometimes it seems like it's a battle to get through each day.
Honestly was the main reason I moved across the country last minute this season. Was scared I wasn't going to make it through the season if I stayed where I was. Just said" I need to move" quit my job and moved.
The thing is, it's not always down to a particular event. People always say "Permanent solution to a temporary problem". That's bullshit honestly. You don't know what the fuck is going inside some peoples heads. Some people have been struggling for years, you may never see because they seem happy on the outside. There are definitely people that kill themselves spur of the moment because of a particular event without thinking it through. I can understand that saying little more then but at the same time, who the fuck am I to judge.
Honestly we really don't know enough about mental health these days and it seems like we're really just starting to take it more seriously.
Be nice to the people around you, even strangers(being a dick doesn't get you anywhere), let your friends no you care about them, if you end up in a bad place find a friend, stranger, counselor, somebody that you can talk to and hopefully work through some stuff.
Really huge issue IMO. Happens too much. I don't blame the people either. I just wish we understood more about the problem and were making real strides to curb it. Maybe that isn't possible but I'm hopeful.
Best of luck everyone
JustGoWithItI think most who go to public schools have dealt with it in one way or another. My old high school had 3 of them in the same grade (One of them I knew pretty well) within a period of 2 months. And this year one kid in my class intentionally crashed his car into a tree. It really is sad because most of them could have been avoided in terms of someone speaking up.
JustGoWithItNot much is going to change until people start to look at mental health in a different way. Like you said, most people who attempt or succeed at killing themselves did not do it over one singular event. While there may not be other factors in their life that could suggest such an action, that still does not rule out a mental illness or medical condition. I guess what I am trying to say is the idea that "Why would someone kill himself when there is some much to live for or you only get on life or ...) Is not helping the situation. Most with such mindsets are not thinking on a rational basis.
ANUSTARTThere have been a couple kids that have tried/completed suicide. Don't get me wrong its really sad, but I dont like how afterwards everyone in the school acts like they knew the person really well. That just hurts the people that actually knew them more.
MinggThat is so fucking pathetic when people do that. I've seen so many Facebook status's from people who would have never given my friend the time of day. Fuck, a lot of them hated her in high school and now a few of them are all over the internet posting shit about how sad it is. Pretty fuckin funny that it was those same people who caused her to hate herself like she did. Trying to get attention out of people passing away is fucked up in so many ways.
john18061806This happens every time there is an untimely death. I really hate seeing it. The general stupidity of this generation gets ridiculous at times.
theabortionatorI agree. Especially about the "Why would someone kill himself when there is some much to live for. " People can be such pricks, lacking understanding for their fellow humans. "My life is harder than yours and I didn't kill myself" kind of atiutude. You have both your parents, a job, etc, you should be happy instead of being selfish. That mentality is all around in life. I remember some cunt senator maybe from CT like 10 years ago talking about how she got through cancer without using marijuana so nobody else really needed it and it was just a cop out. Fuck people like that.
With old saying like the golden rule, walking in other peoples shoes, etc you'd think maybe we would be a little more compassionate. Maybe someday. Even though a lot of people killing themselves isn't cause by people being dicks to them but some underlying shit, it sucks when somebody commits suicide and all the self righteous come out of the wood work to mention that they were "Selifsh pricks" and that anyone who would do that is a horrible scummy person that deserves to die etc.
Shit like that is always nice.
It just goes to show how far we have to go to understanding it.
/rambling a bit
MinggThat is so fucking pathetic when people do that. I've seen so many Facebook status's from people who would have never given my friend the time of day. Fuck, a lot of them hated her in high school and now a few of them are all over the internet posting shit about how sad it is. Pretty fuckin funny that it was those same people who caused her to hate herself like she did. Trying to get attention out of people passing away is fucked up in so many ways.
ASAP_MtnsI'm going to do my best to distill this story down, but its still very rough for me. If this helps one person, I'll be content.
Unfortunately, I have far too much experience with suicide (and depression, as they are intertwined).
Last year was my freshman year of college, and I broke up with my then girlfriend of more than a year the morning I left for school in Colorado (I'm from Utah). Before dating, she was my best friend, so the relationship felt longer than it was, and every second of it was amazing. I loved that woman to the moon and back. Our breakup wasn't "hey this was fun, bye" - but more to the tune of "we've dated long distance before (she spent a year in Finland and we did LDR for 6 months of it), and I'm not keen on doing it again. I'll see you when I'm back." We still talked a fair bit, but not constantly.
Here's where things will get glossed over.
Basically, our breakup was the spark for a powder-keg that had been building for years. (very important note, and its easy to mention it here. None of the suicide or depression was an attempt to "get me back" - we discussed this at length. Also, while I'm on my soapbox, never marginalize someone's suicide by saying they do it for attention.). I don't think its my place here to say what factors built up this powder-keg, but I'll say that depression was a part of it and makes everything worse. This powder-keg exploded early on in the semester, and the end result was her trying (thankfully, unsuccessful) more than half a dozen times. I want to say thanks to any and all healthcare providers who saved her life on several occasions. Without them, she wouldn't be here.
That entire time, through the attempts, I was still talking with her - because I loved her. I was no longer in love with her, but I still loved her. There's a difference, and I can't quite describe it, but thats as close to it as I can get. When you love someone, its very fucking hard to help someone through something like this without taking on some of their burden as your own. By caring for her, and trying to help her through it, I started to take on her depression as my own. As much as I absolutely loathed suicide and suicidal thoughts, the depression that I took on from her started to create infrequent thoughts of suicide. This turned my life into the black pit of bullshit that is depression.
What was really interesting is that I had a sixth sense about her. There were three distinct times where I felt this overwhelming sensation, tried to call her, got voicemail, gave her mom a ring and said "hey, is she alright? I just felt off". All three times, her mom would cry on the phone because no, she wasn't okay.
Eventually, I had to tell her that I could not be there for her anymore. I had to sever all ties to her for a long time, but I told her to talk to me when she got better. My attempts to help a person I care about through a tough time, had in turn devastated my own life. Earlier, I had also relinquished the fact that I could only do so much - at the end of the day, she was going to do whatever it is that she wanted. I blocked her on facebook, snapchat, instagram, you name it. Ultimately, she respected my space, and didn't reach out until she got the help that she needed. In the spring, I realized I was in a better place, and thru mutual friends that she was also doing much better. We ended up getting lunch together, and it was nice to catch up but I wanted to say many things and didn't. I imagine she felt the same way. Seeing her after the shitstorm, it was impossible to ever see her in the same light; most likely, this is a defense mechanism, but who knows. She did tell me that she was doing better than she had ever done, before the suicide attempts. The proper help makes all the difference in the world.
So thats the story I have. I've left many things out, but the mains tory is there (I hope).
Take home points in no particular order:
1) When dealing with suicide, or anything really, you need to take care of yourself first. Don't sacrifice your own happiness for someone else's. It makes you less effective to the person you care about. To really help them, you need to be 100%. Its obviously easier said than done, but do your best not to take on their burden as your own. You should never feel guilty because you had an amazing day and someone else tried to take their own life.
2) Everyone needs help. Even if you thought "nah I'm good" when you read this, you need help too. Literally everyone can benefit from help. Help can come in any shape and size - it can be your buddy, a professional, a parent, or a cool professor/teacher. Just get help. Most importantly, if someone is considering suicide, suggest (or force, use your judgement here) them to get help - it could save their life. If someone has suicidal thoughts, the hospital (in almost every state) can put them in protective psychological care for 72 hours. This has saved several of my friends lives. Do not be afraid to check someone into the psyc ward. Think about risk vs reward again here. No one will hate you for caring about them. The downside of checking someone into the ward who doesn't need it is much smaller than not checking in someone who needs to go.
3) TALK TO PEOPLE. Someone. Anyone. It doesn't matter. Refusing to talk about what you're experiencing only makes everything worse. I didn't tell anyone what was going on because I didn't want anyone to pity me or change how they behaved. The time I told anyone about my situation, I opened up to a group of friends around a fire, and had to choke through tears to finish. It turned out, the guy standing directly across from me had his mentor kill himself, and also knew about suicide. You'll be surprised by what the people around you have experienced, just open up - sharing your struggle is the most liberating feeling on the planet. Nothing will ever come close to feeling as good as I did the night I finally opened up.
4) Don't be a dick to people. This is a very general thing, but when you're dealing with depression, anything can feel like the end of the world. Last year, I asked the dining hall staff for a ham & cheese sandwich. They told me they were out of ham, and then and there I started bawling - unable to handle the fact that THERE WAS NO GOD DAMN HAM. Which is a ridiculous thing to cry about, but that ham - that god damned ham - was somehow a symbol for the world giving me the middle finger.
5) NEVER EVER TELL SOMEONE JUST TO GET OVER IT. If being depressed is something that you could "just get over" we would have done that IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE. Depression, and all mental illness for that matter, are all chemically/environmentally influenced. Its the same as telling someone with a torn ACL to just get over it.
I know that most of what I talked about is regarding to people that are struggling with depression and suicidal attempts/thoughts, but thats where my expertise resides. Fortunately, I have zero experience with successful suicide - and I would love to keep it that way.
To OP: thank you for making this thread. We need to be having these discussions about mental health, thank you for making a good space to do so.
To anyone and everyone: I am always willing to help if you're struggling with this personally, or know someone who is. Feel free to contact me for help always. For those of you who have my cell phone, use that whenever.
It WILL get better. I promise.
MinggYeah one of my best friends from high school just killed herself last week. Shit is so crazy. In my high school there were a couple kids who tried but at least when I was there no one actually killed themselves.
Jamey Rodemeyer went to a school close to me and his death shook up pretty much all of our area. Our school actually implemented this anti bully program district wide as a result and it was pretty intense. Suicide is fuckin terrible.
TheFapAny death that's preventable is fucking terrible
john18061806This happens every time there is an untimely death. I really hate seeing it. The general stupidity of this generation gets ridiculous at times.
L0gicI have never been depressed or felt suicidal, so I struggle to understand how much the people in the above anecdotes are going through.
One of my friends at school is starting to worry me. He's been depressed lately, and even asked "Who would miss me if I left". He's a kid from Kazackstan, so he gets a lot of shit about being a terrorist and other remarks like that. Sometimes I'm the only person that is respectful, kind, and accepting to him. I try to do any small thing I can, but I really don't know how to handle this situation.
L0gicOne of my friends at school is starting to worry me. He's been depressed lately, and even asked "Who would miss me if I left". He's a kid from Kazackstan, so he gets a lot of shit about being a terrorist and other remarks like that. Sometimes I'm the only person that is respectful, kind, and accepting to him. I try to do any small thing I can, but I really don't know how to handle this situation.
JustGoWithItTell the school counselor, a teacher, or principal about it and just try to actively be there for him.
L0gicI'm not sure if that will just complicate matters, but it may be needed, thanks.
ASAP_MtnsGetting someone help will never complicate anything. I promise.
theabortionatorIt depends on what help you're offering. If somebody ever tried to check me in somewhere that would definitely complicate things. I would be pissed.
Actually school counselor in high school tried to do that to me twice. Didn't end up getting stuck there luckily. She was a gigantic cunt though.
Blindsurferthin the fuckin herd bitches
ASAP_MtnsIt can be tricky, that's for sure.
Having been on the other side, how would you recommend that the above guy deal with his friend?
theabortionatorIdk. It depends on the situation. Some people might find help they need. Some people might find the attention they need. Some people might come out even more bitter.
Also it's probably shitty to say but I don't really get people that have multiple suicide attempts. I have a plan and if I ever decide I want out it's a pretty solid way to go. There's so many options. I feel like if you're had several and are still alive, you're very unlucky(or lucky depending on your you talk to), poor and planning things, or you didn't really want to die just to have a suicide attempt under your belt for the attention.
Caucasian_AsianA kid a year behind me in middle school committed suicide. I didn't know him very well, just who he was. He's been suffering from depression since his mom passed away a few years before. There were rumors that his mom killed herself, but it couldn't be proven.
The difference between kids that are suicidal and kids that are looking for attention, is that the kids that are truly suicidal don't try and kill themselves, they just do it.
DobberWe need to get rid of people like you.
californiagrownI am of the opinion that most people who go through with legit suicide attempts can go fuck themselves.
If, at the end, they still logically understand that killing themselves is wrong, and they know their family/friends/aquaintences will be devastated, but they still go through with it, they can go fuck themselves because they are selfish, malicious pieces of shit.
I have the utmost sympathy, empathy, and respect for people struggling with depression. I have absolutely no respect for people who give up on that struggle and voluntarily pass that pain on to those around them.
JustGoWithItAnd it's an attitude like that toward the issue that is causing this to be such an issue. I said it in an earlier post and I will say it again. Most who commit or attempt to commit suicide are not thinking rationally because their is nothing rational about it. I know it seems like such a foreign concept to someone who has never dealt with severe depression or another factoring mental illness but please try to step out of your own shoes and into someone elses for just a second. What is stopping you from doing it? The answer is no one but yourself. I don't support self inflicted harm but I am not so closed minded that I think everyone will be rationally weighing the consequences when making the decision.
Simple truth is I have been there and it damn near killed me. Was I thinking of my family? Sure, but did that stop me? No. I don't know why it didn't, but like I said in light of my condition I was not thinking rationally.
californiagrownThe opinion i posted comes from a guy who is clinically manic depressive, and who has also seen suicide up close.
there is a large difference between knowing something is wrong, and feeling that something is wrong. a suicidal state of mind is irrational, but in most cases, not delusional. They know its wrong. they know it will hurt people. they dont care. tehy just want their own pain to stop.
