In light of recent events it looks like the anti-comp is needed more then ever. Thank god you guys are here to provide the freeskiing community with the 9th edition of the beloved anti-comp in the fresh, backcountry location of Retallack.
With such an awesome location it's no wonder why you have chosen such an awesome pool of athletes for us the people to choose from. For the uniformed or lazy the current field of athletes are 5 Orage team riders, 2 lucky ladies, and then we have been given the option to vote on this hard to choose from lineup consisting of:
As the community knows as of recent, an athlete has had a major upset to his season. Turns out Collin Collins tore his ACL, probably in an avalanche of hot bitches trying to get up that grass skirt. Some of those dames aren't held together all that well, so not hard to see how that might happen.
Kind of a crappy deal for Collin and I wish him all the best in his recovery and rehab so he can get back to shredding as soon as possible. Since he's been knocked out of the running however, someone needs to fill the hole where he belongs. I think in the fairness of team selection.... yeah, something like that.... it would only be appropriate for another 4bi9 rider to take Collin's spot and spread that Mahalo lifestyle.
And what do ya know, I have the perfect candidate, Todd Walnuts:
Let's take a look at the criteria to fill Collins boots, and general Orage Masters requirements:
-Can Ski BC.
-Has knowledge in the art of 'tilting one back'.
-Capable of spreading Mahalo goodness
-Doesn't take himself too seriously.
Looking at the images above, I'd say yeah, Tom checks out good for all of those. So there's no real reason why he shouldn't be set to go.
So Orage, if we can get Collin Collins up into 5th or better by midnight tomorrow, will you let Tom ride on his behalf?
TL;DR I made a stupid thread.
"Whoever said Chug, dude is scrappy as fuck haha. He was blackzoned and being a dick and we all tried to kick him out of our Team NS room at JOSS. We had two of us trying to drag him out and once we got him to the door frame and he just locked his arms and legs to the frame and we couldn't get him to budge (like a cat trying to refuse a bath)."