I ran your parameters through the supercomputer that is my mind and came to the only possible conclusion. The only reason one could possibly need this combination is if one is tossing things quickly into the back of the car (which is why the hatchback is needed), one intends to leave the scene very quickly (hence automatic, can't shift and shoot gun at the same time), and one needs to outrun one's pursuers (hence fast as fuck). My supercomputer deducted that you are a drug runner. Since there is a tremendous amount of money in this high-risk, high-reward business, you really need the best that money can buy.
I plugged these parameters back into the supercomputer and it came back that a good choice would be the Porsche Panamera Turbo S. It is a 4-door (plenty of room for your hired help to protect you), "fast as fuck," a hatchback, and comes in a 7-speed automatic transmission.
You're welcome and enjoy your new car!
If anyone ever told you that I give a damn, they damned well told you wrong!
The other day I was eating Starbursts and watching TV, and then a Starburst commercial came on. I was like, damn, that's profound.
Yeah listen to this girl, go slam a VW and call it a day
Don't forget to camber your wheels as much as possible
"ckieth is a douche and should be taken to the center of the street and made example of by everyone in his town throwing rocks starting with small pebbles from the little kiddies and working up to the big rocks from the fathers and very large women" ~jBillis
Its pretty hard to get a brand new car thats fast as fuck for under 24k.You could definitely get a slightly used car thats fast as fuck thats under 24k but it would probably have a decent amount of miles on it. Your probably gonna have to get rid of one of your requirements
"You put on your boots, click into your bindings,
dust the snow off your skis, and head out for the chair. It doesn't matter that you failed a test, didn't get the girl, or that your life doesnt seem like it could get any worse, your world is right for the next couple of hours."
If you can't drive stick, I strongly suggest learning how, it makes driving a car IMO way more fun... If you can't for other reasons, then the only thing I can think of is buying a used automatic Camaro or something and putting about 15k into the motor, make about 400rwhp and it would be ridiculous. Not hatchback but yeahh...
Or get an auto Subaru Legacy GT, they are twin turbo, 280 hp, AWD and are a wagon so you can fit your skis and all your bitches in it.
"gonna be a wild party. ill bring the meth" -SupaHotFire
Not saying it is, it's fucking retarded. I'm not doing it again any time soon. We didn't die, and I learned how to drive stick without fucking up his parents clutch. In a optimistically fucked up way, it was a win win.
"I EAT FUCKING DICK PUBE" - vanunen
"Anyway I would like to thank your dad for being a terrible father." -Monsieur_Patate
Do you not realize almost any car he purchases will still be able to hit 140km on the highway, impreza included, when the limits 100km? My trailblazer sees 140km all the time on the highway and it is by no means fast and would get dusted by 2013 impreza.
"I'd really like to get my name out so I can piss on 13 year old girls and get away with it, do a shit load of heroin, autograph boobs without it being harassment and then finally blow my brains out when the fame gets to me."
"i was going to post something demeaning and funny about the op, but then i saw that TechnoPotamus did so now i find it unnecessary."
"Professor Potamus has a PhD in Newschoolers."
yes it can, just get a good alignment and only shift when travelling straight, that way you shift and steer with the right hand and eat with the left .
also op look into the speed 3 its super quick, but im pretty sure it only comes in stick. trust me it is worth learning stickand isnt even that hard, after a week of driving stick you wont stall any more, and after a month you wont even have to think about
why wouldn't you want an impreza???? such a nice car.... Why does it matter if it's fast, please explain
"just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, 'give me a lot of bacon and eggs'. What I said was: give me all the bacon and eggs you have, do you understand?