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March, 2024

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JESUS EXPLAINED

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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
STOP RIGHT THERE!
I have a theory.
Bread has yeast which rises.
Wine is alcohol.

Jesus' blood was wine and his body was bread. So therefore my hypothesis is that jesus was beer-bread. It's plausible, and perhaps the caves heat caused his body to 'rise' again. Jesus was actually bread!
The church is about to cream themselves when they realize that jesus' true form was literally as he said it.
Nov 4 2013 1:10PM
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Arabian
Posts: 667 - Karma: 880
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Nov 4 2013 1:15PM
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,346
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Nov 4 2013 1:50PM
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HWW
Posts: 3084 - Karma: 3,436
Well it has no less credibility than any other stories I've heard about Jesus so I'm with you on this one.
Nov 4 2013 1:52PM
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LoathesRaisins
Posts: 3612 - Karma: 4,735
And he could float on water. HE WAS BREAD!!!!
motherofgod.jpg
Nov 4 2013 1:54PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
That's why they made the big butter jesus on I-94!
Nov 4 2013 1:57PM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
Preach it brother.
Nov 4 2013 3:47PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
this is so fucking disrespectful. have some respect for what is probably the most important and significant event in the history of mankind
Nov 4 2013 7:13PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51261 - Karma: 157,426
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Nov 4 2013 7:18PM
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DonMac
Posts: 95 - Karma: 387
Not everyone follows the same religion my friend

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Nov 4 2013 7:18PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
haha this!
Nov 4 2013 7:28PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
such ignorance
Nov 4 2013 7:57PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
kill yourself
Nov 4 2013 8:11PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
all hail the "holy" loaf of bread!

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Nov 4 2013 8:15PM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
I had no idea that you had such an emotional connection with bread. I apologize for slandering bread with jesus' name. My post was intolerant towards you breadites and I apologize sincerely.
Nov 4 2013 8:15PM
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Bmo.
Posts: 4907 - Karma: 2,667
real original OP...

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Nov 4 2013 8:19PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
i wont get into the promised land if i kill myself, but i am excited to die some day in the name of jesus
Nov 4 2013 8:36PM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
spinoza fucking wins.

holy fuck

check your meter guys.


fuck ily spinoze
Nov 4 2013 8:46PM
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Horsefacekillah
Posts: 867 - Karma: 874
not only Jesus but God as well
Nov 4 2013 10:55PM
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11986 - Karma: 12,239
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in his natural form.
Nov 4 2013 11:03PM
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DBQHawks33
Posts: 10 - Karma: 16
DON'T PISS OFF THE REDNECKS

That is all

The rest of this thread can continue to be a crusade
Nov 4 2013 11:05PM
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artfullydodged
Posts: 8358 - Karma: 1,674
Why does the US Military spend so much?

America is preparing our army for an Alien invasion that we learned about by torturing aliens at Roswell. You complain about the spending now, but in the end it shall save us.

Open your eyes people.
Nov 4 2013 11:07PM
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GrahamGould
Posts: 713 - Karma: 2,439
I can understand that this is a little disrespectful, but getting offended isn't going to help you or anyone else. You just gotta realize that people are going to joke around and say funny shit like this. Thats just the world we live in. Try not to take it personally.
Nov 4 2013 11:07PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
n00bz gonna n00b.

U dun been trolled, mister.
Nov 4 2013 11:10PM
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DoctorNitrogen
Posts: 37 - Karma: 19
Deep.
Nov 5 2013 9:28AM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
lul
Nov 5 2013 12:10PM
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Iraq_Lobster
Posts: 1866 - Karma: 4,904
Don't fuck with Jesus
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Nov 5 2013 12:25PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
Nov 5 2013 12:27PM
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brotherdad
Posts: 2076 - Karma: 13,066
bread in spanish is pan. pan=frying utensil, utensil sounds like pencil. pencils are used on paper. Paper, invented by the chinese. Chinese like rice... rice is often pan fried... fried... a techique often used at mcdonalds.. mcdonalds... the worlds largest food chain.. christianity is the worlds largest religion... jesus=leader of said christianity. therefore, Jesus=bread.
Nov 5 2013 12:38PM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
Dogs are bitches, and cats are pussies. Women are bitches and women have pussies. Therefore dog=cat.
Nov 5 2013 5:35PM
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All times are Eastern (-4)