I'm currently a freshman at Cornell University majoring in chemical engineering. Although I do like math and science, my heart isn't really in engineering. I mostly chose to go into engineering because it offers relatively high prospects of employment following graduation, especially at a school with a huge alumni network like Cornell. Don't get me wrong -- I can deal with it. But it isn't what I want to do.
My heart is really in film. I don't feel like getting all melodramatic about it, but I really could see myself writing and directing Hollywood films. I find myself daydreaming about it constantly, and now that I have started my undergraduate studies, it bugs me more and more everyday that I am essentially doing what I have always told others not to do -- settle for security instead of pursuing one's dream(s). Part of me wants to believe that I really can achieve my lofty dreams through hard work and passion, but the other half of me fails to see any reason I would make it in Hollywood over the countless other kids majoring in film across the world. It's just unrealistic and pursuing film feels like too much of a gamble when my other option is nearly sure-fire employment (granted I survive school).
As I sit in these math and science classes, it still feels like high school -- just a bunch of required classes I'm taking because I don't have a choice. I'm worried if I continue down this road I'll always feel like this and dislike my career later in life. But then again, this is real life and we all can't be rockstars and professional sports players, so I should just suck it up, right? Or should I just grow a pair and go for it?
Has anyone else felt this way? Not really sure if I'm asking what I should do or just trying to get this off my chest. I know some of you will question why I brought this question to NS and to answer that question: I just like the relative anonymity I have here and I'm hoping some of you will have some useful advice for me.
I think it'd be pretty sweet if I dated a 16 year old. -bock