"Fuck those "LMS if you remember this" "LMS if you brush your teeth" "LMS if you want to fingerblast a hippopotamus into submission" FUCK ALL THOSE FUCKING FUCKERS. WE ALL REMEMBER WHAT A FUCKING RING POP IS."-Forcillo
"You had sex with a 13 year old Indian? This is the 21st century not the fucking Lewis & Clark expedition Jesus Christ"-Thizzle.
take him to vegas, bring his fiance's sketchy brother, get super blackout/drugged up drunk, leave him on the roof of your hotel, wake up and spend the day wondering where he is, remember he is on the roof, take his sunburned crispy ass to the altar with minutes to spare. then get equally drunk at the reception
my hombre just got married. those are all bomb suggestions. also, be extra nice to the brides mom, and just be super helpful on the day of the wedding, to like set up and shit. everyone is so tightly wound, and if you show up like a boss and play it cool and just provide help to everyone, you will have the pick of the litter my friend.
definitely get an amazing speech prepared and don't get so shit housed that you fuck the speech up. if you give an awesome best man speech, look good in a suit, and can dance your ass off (not even necessarily good), you're pretty much guaranteed to get some strange that night. everyone fucks after wedding receptions.
Wedding's are so fun.. my advice is to not worry so much about a date if that is an option and wait for the chicks at the wedding.. something gets into girls at weddings and it's not just the alcohol.. they are feisty and def if you're in the wedding party you will slay some box that night..