My ex stepmom got upset at me today because I failed to see a facebook post from her new (5th) husband congratulating her on graduating from the U of M.
Anyway, sweet breakdown.
Stepdad who is haitian and has the coolest family ever. His dad received an award from the NAACP for being the first black principle in Minnesota... his great grandfather was Abraham Lincoln's Barber.. So yeah, awesome fucking step dad.
On my mom's side, my uncle was an international drug dealer for years until going through some crazy life change and now he is some sort of champion cycler.
I have some cousin's who's father is a multi multi millionaire and lives in a 13 million dollar house in Beverly Hills... But they are crazy spoiled. One of them got preggers at 19, the other got arrested for driving her mercedes into a pizza shop and claiming someone stole it.
Then there is my ex stepmom who we recently discovered that my dad was actually her 3rd husband. She got half of everything after 2 years of marriage and right after my dad got his inheritance. Now she's on husband 5. I'm still expected to wish her 4th husband's children merry christmas.
It's fun when I get to say things like, "I'm going to my ex stepmother's 4th ex husband's daughter's graduation party."
So please tell me stories of your disaster of a cousin so that I can feel a bit more normal.