"Mom...Dad...I have something important to tell you."
"I accidentally got caught having sex with a girl in the bathroom last week at school and I've been suspended. I've been pretending to go to school every morning, but really I just go to my friend's house, smoke weed, and play video games all day."
"You WHAT!? We are so disappointed in you! We w.."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Relax. I'm just kidding. I'm gay."
"If you were to assemble a United States of Playground you would need a place to locate a capital; a place where the landscape was created by Dr. Seuss with a backhoe. A place where it is possible to wake up in summertime and drive to winter. In short, you would need Utah."-Jonny Moseley