AMERICA'S ON SALE!

ATTENTION SHOPPERS!!!!
Attention 9 to 5 folk, cell-phone masses,
The up and coming classes.
Attention sports-utility,
Plastic surgery suburbanites,
Viagra-popping, gucci shopping urbanites,
Attention george clooney loonies,
Promise keeper sheep,
Stockbroker sleepwalkers,
Big investment talkers,
Ricki lake watchers,
Attention Walmart congregation,
Shop til you drop generation,
ATTENTION NATION!
AMERICA'S ON SALE!

We've unstocked the welfare pantry
To restock the wall street gentry
It's economically elementary
Cause values don't pay,
Yes American dreams are on permanent layaway!
(there was limited availability anyway)
so the statue of liberty's being dismantled,
$10 a piece to sit on your mantle
or hang on your wall
by the small somalian child
you bought from Sally Struthers
sisters and brothers, it's now or never.
These deals won't last forever -
AMERICA'S ON SALE!
(Restrictions may apply if you're black, gay or female.)

And shoppers:
Global perspective is ninety-nine percent off
Cause most of the world don't count to us.
Our ethic inventory's low
Cause moral business has been slow,
Yes, the values company is moving to Mexico --
And ALL ETHICS MUST GO!

It's a remote control America that's on sale
cause standing up for justice couldn't compare
to clicking through it from a lazy chair --
Answer: jerry, montel, oprah
Question: folks who really care…
for $1,000,000!
In this new mcveggie burger world order
Where the mainstream scene has an alternative theme.
Sugar daddy and ginger spice and all cultures spliced,
That's what music is made of when
AMERICA'S ON SALE!

National health care's one-hundred percent off,
And medicare's in the 50% bin,
So you can by half an operation when
AMERICA'S ON SALE!
And there's a closeout bid to determine
Which religion will win
All the neon flashing signs of sin.
The Christian coalition is bidding high
Shoppers, you ask why??
Who needs a higher power when you've got
Purchasing power
to corner and market one human mold.
That's right-real family values are being undersold!

And it's open hunting season for the NRA!
So there's a special uzi discount only today
Gun control: we say,
''Black bear, black man, blow them both away!''

So stop up for our fastest selling commodity,
No waiting lines for HIV,
Condoms and needle exchange are a hard to sell thing
(to the right wing).
so if you are a druggie or a fag,
rent to own your own body bag, NOW,
while AMERICA'S ON SALE!

we're selling fast to the AT&T CEO,
he's stealing all utilities, he doesn't pass go
and collects 1,000,000 anyway.
he's the monopoly winner,
cause he bought the whole board,
and we bought the whole game,
now so price is the same.

Cause inflation's up on the CEO ego
and power's deflated as far as we go:
cause Nike bought the revolution,
and law schools bought the constitution,
and tommy hilfiger bought the red, white and blue
a flag shirt for fifty dollars
(the one who's being burned is you).
marlboro bought what it means to be a man,
and lexus bought power, so get it while you can.
and maybelline's bought beauty,
and new york's buying rudy,
and mastercard's gold bought the national soul.
Broadway bought talent and called it CATS,
The republicans bought out the democrats;
They liquidated all asses in a fat white donkey sale
Now it's buy one shmuck, get one shmuck free
In the capitalist party!
And there's nothing left to get in the way
Of a full blue-light blow out
Of the US of A!
There's a no-nothing back guarantee,
A zero year warranty,
When you buy this land of the fritos, ruffles and lays,
The home of the braves and the reds and the slaves...
So call 1-800-I DON'T CARE ABOUT SHIT!
Or www.FUCK ALL OF IT!
To receive your credit for the fate of our nation
(Call now! Interest is at an all time low.)

So with these sales pitching verses
I should win for customer service,
I'm like Crazy Eddie,
I'm going insane in America,
Where the almighty dollars sparkle and shine,
This Starbucks land that's yours and mine.
But America's selling fast, shoppers!
BUY IT ALL WHILE YOU CAN!
Cause America's been downsized, citizens...
And you're all fired.


-Alix Olson

------------
In a haze
A stormy haze
I’ll be around
I’ll be loving you
Always
Always

Here I am
And I’ll take my time
Here I am
And I’ll wait in line
Always
Always...