I got one to kick it off. So last night I was with some friends, just drinking at this girl's house. As it may be, last time I was there I banged this chick (call her Brittney) who I shouldn't have, I was too drunk it was meh. Anyways, she was there, we were all playing "Fuck you" and the card got drawn for "never have I ever". Anyways, this bitch girl who hates me was there looked straight at me and said (I only had one finger left) "never have I ever had sex with Brittney". Then everyone stared at me, I put my finger down in shame and took a drink of my bear, and then Brittney's face turned bright red and she disappeared and left the house. Haven't heard from her since.
This one time I was chillin wit my bois at my crib just drinking some wine. Shit was gettin pretty boring so we decide to head out lookin for some sexy ass bitches to chill with. We hop in my dads ice cream truck(my Baja was in the shop) and we are out for the night. So we pull up to this stoplight and I see my grandmothers bridge partner, Ida. She was looking fine as fuck, so I quickly tell my friends to hop out so I could fuck this bitch in the back of the ice cream truck. They hop out and I motion Ida to come into my whip. I say yo ida u tryna bone??? She goes Deadass??? I say hell yeah
I park my car in a Giant parking lot and take this beautiful women to the back of the van. My dick won't fit in her butt, so I slap some smuckers on it and things were good to go. Or so I though... About 10 minutes into it, I felt a breeze and realized that I forgot to close the window. I looked over to the front drivers window and see a camera peeking in the window!!! My friends had filmed the whole thing and I didn't know. I'm pretty sure they uploaded it to a porn site but I haven't been able to find it. Anyway, Ida and I were really embarrasssed and we never spoke again. Her and my grandma also got into a fight after my grandma heard about it. They never played bridge together again.
gimme some karma and ill write u a short erotic story
When I was 14 I went to 3-day Surf Camp with some friends in San Onofre at the beach's campgrounds. Being the tough kid I thought I was, my friends and I smuggled in an Aquafina water bottle FULL of vodka (snatched it from the parents). I thought I was so cool and me and my brother chugged half the bottle. I passed out asleep on the beach while everyone was surfing and woke up with the worst sun burn ever. As if that wasn't ad enough, I woke up SICK and not only felt like I was going to puke but I had to POOP so-effing-bad, and it's a 1 1/2 mile hike back up to the campsite, uphill, in the sun, burned, and drunk. I was hurrying as fast I could, but I had to puke, I walked a few feet away from the trail and dropped to my hands and knees to do the Technicolor yodel. From the heaving, I was pushing when I puked and ended up crapping all over myself. I was super embarrassed and I just changed out of my swim trunks and into the clothes in my pack and left them there..