i'm sure other people have said this, but everybody handles things differently, and no. You are not a bad person.
Just something to think about, if she hasn't passed yet, i had somebody very close to me that was very sick for a long time. on her last night here I wasn't there because I was too scared. It's something I will always regret and have to live with now. It's just something you might want to think about.
Just remember there is no right way or wrong way, and she knows you loved her. That's what matters.
I know this probably doesn't mean much but i hope it makes you smile in some way because i cant give you a hug through the internet.
"In the depth of winter, i finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer" - Albert Camus
"Jews love cashews" - carrier the series