Shotgun Rules
Official Rules and Regulations
To Owning the Passenger Seat
the constitution
preamble:
the rules listed below apply to the calling of shotgun (the passenger seat) in an automobile. these rules are definitive and binding.
section one-the basic rules
article 1: in order to call shotgun, the caller must pronounce the word 'shotgun' as long as the driver verifies the call.
article 2: shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the vehicle are outside and directly on the way to the said vehicle.
article 3: early calls are strictly prohibited. shotgun may only be called while walking toward the vehicle and only applies to the drive immediately forthcoming.
shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location. for example, one can not get out of a vehicle and call shotgun for the return journey.
article 4: the driver has final say in all ties and disputes. the driver has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more persons.
section two-special cases
these special exceptions to the above rules should be considered in the order presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of the cases beneath it, when applicable.
article 1: in the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given shotgun.
article 2: in the instance the person who actually owns a vehicle is not driving, then he/she is automatically given shotgun, unless it is declined.
article 3: in the instance that the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or hired prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given shotgun, unless they decline.
article 4: in the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill during the course of the journey that the other occupants fell he/she will toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given shotgun to make appropriate use of the window.
article 5: in the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given location and this person is not the driver, then as the designated navigator for the group they automatically get shotgun, unless they decline.
article 6: in the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to fit comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and award shotgun to the genetic misfit.
alternatively, the driver and other passangers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a three-hour trip with him crammed in the back.
section three-the bastard rules
article 1: if the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the bastard rules on the process of calling shotgun. in this case all rules, excepting that of section one, article 4, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied by whoever can take it by force.
article 2: the driver must announce the institution of the bastard rules with reasonable warning to all passangers. this clause reduces the amount of blood lost by passangers and the damage done to the vehilce.
please follow the above rules to the best of your ability. if there are any arguments or exceptions not covered in these rules, the driver calls the shots, as stated in section one, article 4.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the amendments
amendments are usually regional rules that do not have to be followed, but are really cool to know about, and practice in our spare time.
amendment one-the laser rule
ratified: december 7, 1997
this is a regional rule from the midwest, in which a person may call laser, after shotgun has been called to override the shotgun call. this is only valid if the driver verifies the call as we see in section one, article 4 that states that the driver has final say in all disputes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment two-the rotating shotgun rule
written: 1996
ratified: december 7, 1997
this rule is native to a suburb of philadelphia, pennsylvania to ensure that everyone gets a shotgun at least once per long road trip.
article 1: before the first ride a passenger will call shotgun under the normal procedures, as stated in section one of the official rules.
article 2: once a passenger has had shotgun, he or she may not have shotgun again until everyone else has had shotgun.
article 3: before the second ride, everyone (besides the person who has already had shotgun) competes for shotgun under the normal conditions.
article 4: this continues until the trip has either ended or if everyone has already had shotgun once.
article 5: once everyone has had shotgun, the 'shotgun order' has been established. you must now rotate in that order.
article 6: the shotgun order recycles over and over until the trip is finished.
article 7: person(s) joining the trip after the first ride are entered into the following process:
clause a: on their first ride, the calling of gun is between that person and the person whose turn it is in the shotgun order.
clause b: if the order has not yet been established, the new rider is entered into the pool of riders calling for shotgun.
article 8: driver still has final say in all ties and disputes. all rules from the official rules, including special cases, and the bastard rules, are stil in effect.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment three-the shotgun clause
proposed: december 23, 1997
ratified: december 24, 1997
this rule is native to the south, but practical in many northern cities, states that the potential occupant with the largest caliber weapon on their preson defaults to shotgun, unless one occupant is actually armed with a shotgun, in which case he gets shotgun. if two or more occupants actually have shotguns, then the over/under barrel configuration rules.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment four-the specific amendment
proposed: december 27, 1997
ratified: january 3, 1998
any person who wishes to claim shotgun must actually pronounce either the word 'shotgun' or 'gun.' one may not say the name of a type of shotgun, such as '12 gauge.' if a passenger does, then he or she have lay no claim on shotgun, and it may be called for by another person.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment five-rider to the laser amendment
proposed: december 7, 1997 & january 8, 1998
ratified: january 12, 1998
when a passenger calls shotgun, another passenger may call 'shotgun double barrel' to override the shotgun call.
additionally, any passenger who says 'no blitz' after claiming shotgun, may not have it taken away by either the 'laser' or 'double barrel' rules. these rules hold no precedence over standard shotgun procedure, and the driver has final say in all calls, as stated in section 1, clause 4.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment six: the 'house' rule
proposed: january 11, 1998
ratified: january 12, 1998
the owner of the vehicle decides which shotgun amendments to institute on his own car. all passengers must abide by the rules of these amendments, which are stated in the constitution. however, the original three section of the constitution must always be used, and may never be amended.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment seven-the eviction ammendment
proposed: january 21, 1998
ratified: january 22, 1998
if the vehicle is forced to stop for a serious infraction of the shotgunner, the shotgunner must relinquish his/her seat, if the driver so wishes. serious infractions have been known to include spilling alcoholic beverages, spilling any beverage, being annoying, breaking parts of the car and in extreme cases, just being ugly.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment eight-the reserve shotgun amendment
proposed: january 21, 1998
ratified: january 22, 1998
after shotgun has been called, a second person may call shotgun, which entitles him/her to the window seat in the back with more leg room, unless the vehicle is equipped with bench front seats, whereupon he/she gets the seat of his/her choice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment nine-rider to the navigator clause
proposed: january 26, 1998
ratified: january 27, 1998
the passenger who has shotgun must serve as navigator. by this, he must watch for signs and intersections that the driver may miss during the course of a road trip. the navigator must also ask for directions out the window.
it is also the responsibility of the passenger who has shotgun to take control of the radio and air conditioning, however the driver has final ssay over the settings. the other occupants of the car can also have an opinion. if the passenger with shotgun is caught forgetting their duties and makes the car listen to commercials and/or bad music than his privilege can be lost. of course this is in all good judgement of the driver. as navigator, the driver may also ask him to operate other devices such as windshield wipers, and the rear window defroster.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment ten-the first blood amendment
proposed: february 21, 1998
ratified: february 26, 1998
this rule from the midwest states that whoever draws blood (supposedly when the bastard rules are in effect) gets shoved in the back of the hatchback (or trunk) with the spare tire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment eleven-the australian shotgun rule
proposed: february 24, 1998
ratified: february 26, 1998
in australia if two people tie for shotgun, then the first person to put their thumb on their own head is awarded shotgun. if they both do this at the same time also then an immediate pissbolt (race) to the car is required.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twelve-the five minute rule
proposed: march 1, 1998
ratified: march 1, 1998
this rule, which originated in massachusetts, states that in the event that the passenger riding shotgun leaves the car (i.e.: to get something from his house or a convenience store) is allowed 5 minutes in which to return and still retain his shotgun privilege. if he does not return within the time frame alloted, another passenger may take his place.
there are other variations to this rule such as the 'two hour rule,' but these usually result in the shotgunner getting beaten up by the other passengers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment thirteen-the awning rule
proposed: march 4, 1998
ratified: march 5, 1998
once all passengers have exited through the final doorway on the way to the car, (provided the car is in view) they are considered outside and may call shotgun no matter what covering is overhead. this rule applies to all awnings, covered decks and all outdoor shelters.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment fourteen-the bribery amendment
proposed: april 7, 1998
ratified: april 19, 1998
in the event that the shotgun call ends up in a tie between two passengers, the passengers in the tie may attempt to bribe the driver so that the driver makes the call in their favor. this rule is null and void, however if the driver institutes the bastard rules. examples of bribes are money, food and soda.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment fifteen-the recall rule
proposed: april 16, 1998
ratified: april 19, 1998
this rule from southern mississippi states that once a passenger has called shotgun, another passenger may call 'recall shotgun,' thereby overriding the shotgun call and claiming shotgun for themselves. in order for this not to happen the first passenger must call 'shotgun, no recall.' this rule is similar to the 'no blitz' call.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment sixteen-the broken seat amendment
proposed: april 16, 1998
ratified: april 19, 1998
in the event that the front passenger seat in the car is extremely uncomfortable, i.e.: has a big hole in it, the passenger who called shotgun must sit in that seat. the other passengers may ridicule him as they wish.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment seventeen-the smoking amendment
proposed: june 11 and 17, 1998
ratified: july 18, 1998
article 1: in the event that smoking is allowed in said vehicle, smoking passengers are given consideration over non-smokers in order that they may utilize either the window or ashtray.
article 2: in the event that there is more than one smoking passenger, the passenger that has already lit-up has shotgun privilege over those who are not already engaged in the act of smoking.
article 3: in the event that more than one smoker is already smoking while on the way to the vehicle, the driver may enforce the bastard rules or first blood rule. this however, is not recommended do to the high risk factor to the vehicle in question. as stated in section one, article 4 of the constitution, the driver has all final say in disputes between passengers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment eighteen-the main passenger rule
proposed: june 26, 1998
ratified: july 8, 1998
if there is a passenger who is 'just along for the ride,' then he or she must sit in the back seat because the ride is not for them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment nineteen-the full view amendment
proposed: july 6, 1998
ratified: july 10, 1998
the automobile must be in full view of all passengers before 'shotgun' may be called.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twenty-the second call amendment
proposed: july 13, 1998
ratified: july 14, 1998
this rule from delaware states that if a given passenger calls a valid 'shotgun', then he or she may not say 'shotgun' again. by calling 'shotgun' a second time, he or she would automatically forfeit their seat and shotgun is reopened to the other passengers.
other passengers are allowed to try to trick the person who originally says 'shotgun' into saying it again, in order to claim shotgun for themselves.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twenty one-the contraband amendment
proposed: august 27, 1998
ratified: august 30, 1998
in the event that the car is about to pass an abandoned case of beer, pornography, or any other form of contraband that the passengers might find useful in some way or another, it is the responsibility of the passenger riding shotgun to open his door and scoop up the said beer, pornography or contraband, while the car is still in motion.
additionally, if the car is moving at a speed above 15 m.p.h. (24 km/h) the passenger riding shotgun may decline to do so.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twent two-the boy/girlfriend rule
proposed: november 24, 1998
ratified: january 21, 1999
section two, article 2 of the constitution states that , 'in the instance the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or hired prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given shotgun, unless they decline.'
serious boy/girlfriends should also receive preferential treatment in regards to shotgun.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twenty three-the no bitch rule
proposed: december 15, 1998
ratified: january 21, 1999
this rule states that once shotgun has been called by one of the passengers, the remaining passengers may call, 'no bitch.' Bitch is the middle seat in the back, or the trunk. if a passenger forgets to call 'no bitch,' or calls it too late, he/she is forced to ride bitch.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twenty four-the non chauffeur/compulsory shotgun rule
proposed: december 29, 1998
ratified: january 21, 1999
in the event that there are fewer passengers than capacity would allow, there must always be a passenger riding shotgun. this would include a couple. this is to prevent the driver from feeling ditched, or like a chauffeur.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twenty five-the couples rule
proposed: december 29, 1998
ratified: january 21, 1999
in the event that a couple is traveling together, they must both sit together in either the front or back seat. this is so that people without boy/girlfriends, spouses, lovers, or prostitutes, can talk amongst themselves in the hope of acquiring boy/girlfriends, spouses, lovers, or prostitutes.
this rule, however, is null and void if amendment twenty four is in effect.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twenty six-the rock amendment
proposed: december 29, 1998
ratified: janurary 21, 1999
this rule states that once a passenger calls 'shotgun,' he must also say, 'no rock.' if the gunner does not say this, another passenger may call, 'rock.' in this case shotgun is awarded to the winner of a best of three, rock, paper, scissors contest.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twenty seven-second rider to the navigator clause
proposed: january 9, 1999
ratified: january 21, 1999
amendment nine states that the passenger who has shotgun must serve as navigator.
it is also the job of the navigator to throw all trash and empty beer bottles out of the window. the beer bottles must be crushed under the tires to destroy all evidence, in case of an emergency situation.
in addition, the navigator must possess the ability and the will to insult other drivers and be heard, only if they deserve it (i.e.: being cut off). this is to allow the driver to continue to operate the vehicle properly.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twenty eight-the seniority amendment
proposed: january 9, 1999
ratified: january 21, 1999
in the event that one of the passengers is much older than the rest of the passengers, he/she is automatically awarded shotgun, unless they decline.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment twenty nine-the 10 foot rule
proposed: january 19, 1999
ratified: january 21, 1999
this rule native to myrtle beach and charleston, south carolina states that once a passenger has called shotgun, another passenger may call '10 foot rule.' in this case there would be an immediate race for the car. the first passenger to come within 10 feet of the car is awarded shotgun.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment thirty-the backfire rule
proposed: november 23, 1998
ratified: january 21, 1999
this rule from central north carolina states that if a passenger has shotgun on a trip, and then calls shotgun for the return trip, any passenger may call, 'double shotgun backfire,' to prevent a single passenger from dominating the front seat.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment thirty one- the international rule
proposed: january 22, 1999
ratified: january 22, 1999
when crossing the border into another country. all shotgun claims are void, and passengers may once again call shotgun. if another passenger gets it, the driver must pull over at his earliest and safest convenience.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment thirty two-the garage rule
proposed: january 19, 1999
ratified: january 27, 1999
a garage is considered outside only if the garage door is open, and all passengers are making their way towards the car. they all must be able to see the car as well. carports are covered by the awning rule as stated in amendment thirteen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
amendment thirty three-the context rule
proposed: february 14, 1999
ratified: february 15, 1999
a passenger may only receive shotgun if he says shotgun within the context of calling shotgun. for instance, a passenger may not be awarded shotgun if he says, 'did anybody call shotgun?,' or if he/she was talking about a shotgun.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
