Suicide

Why?

Unfortunately it doesn't always work. I got kind of pushed into it because I was skipping some of my classes.(Smart kid but fuck some of the teachers)If it was going to be drama everyday I just didn't go.


Anyway was completely honest with this cunt counselor that came to the school once a week. Gave her a real chance and trusted her professional opinion. She tried twice to have me locked up for the weekend(probably more, but was supposed to be going)

She told me she thought it might help to go see these people. I'm open minded. I was like,"Okay if you think this will help me not hate school and make my life a little less shitty then I'm down". Neither time would they even admit me. The second time the cunt had apparently called my parents and told them that they needed to come down and if they didn't come down and get me right then the cops were going to take me into custody and bring me over there. Yet again they didn't admit me.

Started going to counseling on the side with the place where the cunt worked for. Something family counseling services. They gave me pills, I didn't like them, I stopped taking them. Smoking weed actually did a better job than the pills they gave me. Anyway I had to take a drug test there at one point, I laughed and got completely fried the night before. Obviously was dirty. At the same time I took a break because I was trying to get a job at wal mart distribution. They called me out on all the weed I was smoking. Mentioned that it was doing far better than the pills, and that I hadn't actually smoked in a while because I was trying to get this job. I agreed to take another drug test cause I didn't give a fuck, I knew my piss was clean. The hospital wanted me to pay like 60 bucks, I was like nope, not doing, I know myself, fuck paying $60 to prove to somebody else I'm not lying.

Anyway the one Indian guy that i saw mostly over there was asking why I didn't do it. Told him that it was pointless to pay a bunch of money to prove something that I already new. Not sure how it came up, maybe he didn't like my answers to some of his questions but he started going through the file she had on me.

Basically it said I was a danger to myself and other people and in need of serious and immediate help. She basically was saying that it was so fucked up that I needed to be locked up for a while. Yeah I have problems, but fuck that cunt.

I will NEVER talk to those people again. I don't even care that I probably got the bad one in the bunch. I gave it a chance, I stayed very open minded, I trusted their judgement and it almost fucked me about as hard as you can get fucked in that kind of situation.

I just try and surround myself with good people and things that I love. I find some sort of therapy in helping others. Not just in the "walking the old lady across the street type helping", but more of taking a real interest in other people and trying to help them. Maybe giving some kids some advice to try and steer them around some of problems I had, shit like that.

/cool story but I have a real shit impression of that whole system. I could hear all the good positive results from people and I don't think it will ever make me give those people another chance. They had there chance, I gave them a hell of a chance, totally open minded and responsive, and they fucking goofed.

Thinking of just selling everything and hopping on a plane somewhere. Winter without snowboarding at the moment is fucking depressing.

Man I know exactly what you mean. When I came out to my parents I actually asked them if I could see someone, was really open to the whole thing etc. Got referred to a psychologist by my family doctor, went and talked to him once, and never went back. I never thought someone so blatantly prejudiced would be allowed to become a medical professional. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just like.. Destined to fall through the cracks of our society, so to speak.

Because it doesn't only end your life, ending any chance that you could make something of yourself later in life, it permanently scars everyone around you, and on the whole it causes more pain than the suicidal person was to begin with (dont fucking argue with me on this, i have seen it happen). Sure, maybe life sucks now, but there are endless opportunities in the world and people's lives can take a complete 180 degree turn in a matter of days, it happens all the time. Keep your chin up and keep your faith in the world, there's more good to be found in it than there is bad.

sorry, i'm going to argue with you on this and disagree. i hope that doesn't offend you too badly.

That sucks. At least they didn't send you to gay therapy or something.

Not that mine did or anything. Actually haven't really talked to my parents about it. They know but we don't talk. I didn't even tell them. They found out because I came out to everyone else. I don't really care though. I don't talk to my parents. Conversation never gets passed the weather these days. Fuck it.

Skiing is def a good one to hang on with. I remember my english teacher 9 or 10 years ago freaking out on me for being night skiing at the mountain in town after not doing my homework. That was the only thing that got me through school.

I'm getting an mri on monday, hopefully I'll find out whats wrong and how bad. IT was awesome that I wasted months listening to shitty advice from a shitty doctor. I don't think I can handle a full season off the snow after how little I got to ride last year with my shoulder and surgeries.

It's really hard to bounce back when you don't have the ability to head to the mountain, throw on some tunes and make everything better, make it all go away even just for those moments. The points when you don't have to think about anything, think about how you feel, how you should feel, whats going on, why everything blows, why everything feel shitty when things are good, you can just ride. It's like being a kid again. Kids just go out and play on the playground, they don't give a fuck about the world they're just having a good time in the moment.

Idk, good luck.

I am way to much of an egotist to kill my self. Simple as that. Even when things get bad for me It never come to mind. I was taught learning to love life growing up.

Stupidest logic ever. That's the gov approach to drugs. Don't talk about it and it will go away. Suuurree

Anybody attempted suicide on here btw?

I loved you until you posted this.

Yeah you too!

Da fuq son you need help

I get the same sort of thing like sometimes I get this voice inside that says " do it! I know you won't you pussy. Do it you pussy!" Like ill be talking to someone then my mind will be like "what if you punched this person in the face". It's like messing with your mind as to whether you truly have control or not. It's weird

For sure man. Been putting a lot of time into helping this mountain near my parents house build a park from scratch. Hoping to get a steel order soon and really be able to get some decent shit built. I put way too much effort into even the smallest shit and It's a good way to lose myself for a while. Sort of the same way with riding. I'll just make the takeoffs perfect, change out a rail, rake shit and just forget about how shitty things are.

My swings have been pretty wild recently. A couple of the times in the last year it felt like I wasn't going to come back. I feel like I've become a pro at riding it out but it's rough. Def glad I have netflix now. Sometimes I'll just watch a movie and try and focus on that at least get through some of the shit if anxiety is flaring up.

Def will be back on snow at some point. I feel like I've been down a bunch but still in pretty good spirits recently. Haven't really been too ridiculously down since the summer. I mean things have gotten weird, but I haven't really hit the bottom recently.


Out of curiosity are your problems stemming from anything that's happening in your life or more just random and in any situation for any reason or no reason?

And good luck man. Idk if things get better but I hope so. Regardless I know that as shitty as low points are, there are some high points like hot laps in the park, traveling cross country with my friends in the summer. I try and ride out the lows to rage the highs.

Hope all is well. Hit me up if there's ever anything I can do to help.

And was wondering who's alias that was lol

Haha yeah after I dropped the "when I came out..." bit I figured I should probably reveal myself.

The fact that people are arguing over the finer details of suicide and cracking jokes is petty. There are probably people on edge reading through this and dumbass remarks are the last thing they need to see. Contribute something meaningful and offer real advice or leave this sensitive topic alone.