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PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

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I need a New way to Jerk off, any ideas?

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MILFS
Posts: 25 - Karma: 18
so i broke both of my hands and cant jerk off anymore, this is a problem. since i already banged most of the hot babes in my area, i wanna try something new. Any of you freaks got any tips? +K for bumps and advice P.S no one tell me to bang my cat, because its not easy/orgasmic
Oct 16 2012 7:16PM
6 6
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CaelW
Posts: 400 - Karma: 108
How did you break both your arms?
Oct 16 2012 7:17PM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
Dave Chapelle's stand up about monkeys and sex. Watch it. It'll solve all your problems
Oct 16 2012 7:17PM
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maximiliaan
Posts: 7710 - Karma: 2,849
you can fap but you cant clean...
Oct 16 2012 7:18PM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
fleshlight time
Oct 16 2012 7:18PM
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rzarector
Posts: 590 - Karma: 70
probably stress fractures from so much masturbation.

and to op: stick a banana peel between your mattress and bedspring then fuck it! it also works with a ziplock bag and some vaseline!
Oct 16 2012 7:19PM
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jcc03skis
Posts: 1002 - Karma: 1,020
getch yer mum.
Oct 16 2012 7:19PM
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MILFS
Posts: 25 - Karma: 18
last week me & a couple of my buddies got drunk in the middle of nowhere, and we decided to try to jump off a moving car ( on the roof) into a pile of hay, but i slipped and fell on the concrete at like 30mph shit hurt
Oct 16 2012 7:19PM
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Laurent.
Posts: 10054 - Karma: 25,277
Try autofellatio, it gives a whole new dimension to jerking off.
Oct 16 2012 7:20PM
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JamieOBalls
Posts: 159 - Karma: 13
dip your cock in smuckers and then fuck a hole in the wall
Oct 16 2012 7:21PM
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Jblz
Posts: 556 - Karma: 206
how about you get a girlfriend
Oct 16 2012 7:22PM
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Rialb
Posts: 565 - Karma: 154
Click for larger image

+

Click for larger image










Ya gotta do what ya gotta do
Oct 16 2012 7:23PM
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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
If this was on reddit, you would have quite a clear answer, uncannily relevant to your username
Oct 16 2012 7:23PM
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rzarector
Posts: 590 - Karma: 70
also
Click for larger image
Oct 16 2012 7:26PM
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Wallisch_pl
Posts: 5260 - Karma: 1,022
you called us 'freaks' and were saying the reasons you wouldn't fuck your cat because it "it's not easy"




fuck you
Oct 16 2012 7:30PM
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MILFS
Posts: 25 - Karma: 18
bro your not steezy
Oct 16 2012 7:30PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
go through several months of stretching and then use your feet to jerk it
Oct 16 2012 7:34PM
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Wallisch_pl
Posts: 5260 - Karma: 1,022
Your icon is Wu tang clan


shut the fuck up
Oct 16 2012 7:35PM
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Wallisch_pl
Posts: 5260 - Karma: 1,022
, bro lol
Oct 16 2012 7:35PM
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Terpskerp
Posts: 82 - Karma: 115
THIS
Oct 16 2012 7:37PM
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rzarector
Posts: 590 - Karma: 70
good argument ya fucking twat
Oct 16 2012 7:37PM
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skijunkiedtm
Posts: 9229 - Karma: 61
ask mom for a hand.
Oct 16 2012 7:38PM
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Wallisch_pl
Posts: 5260 - Karma: 1,022
lol
Oct 16 2012 7:39PM
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*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 511
Read Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk.


Has some good tips...
Oct 16 2012 7:40PM
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TheDude
Posts: 2058 - Karma: 117
wwow bro simmer
Oct 16 2012 7:42PM
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surfacesavelife
Posts: 38 - Karma: -2

GILFs

Oct 16 2012 8:07PM
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artfullydodged
Posts: 8358 - Karma: 1,674
advancedmasturbation.com
Oct 16 2012 8:08PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
try using just your mind, no touching at all. Ive come close but am yet to master it.
I know its possible though
Oct 16 2012 8:09PM
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BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
Fuck your couch.




My buddy told me when he was a young teen he once put a large ziploc bag in his couch, put lotion in it, put it under the cushions, then literally fucked his couch. Easy cleanup too
Oct 16 2012 8:12PM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5884 - Karma: 3,502
Click for larger image
Oct 16 2012 8:15PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
genius
Oct 16 2012 8:16PM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
You are dumb. That is all
Oct 16 2012 8:19PM
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wawabunski
Posts: 292 - Karma: 75
http://youtu.be/9ThBzXhnFTU
how much money you got
Oct 16 2012 8:22PM
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TheStudioCC
Posts: 2092 - Karma: 366
"ive banged most of the hot bitches in my area" thanks for letting us know your a virgin.
Oct 16 2012 8:22PM
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Ric.
Posts: 710 - Karma: 362
Suck your own dick /thread
Oct 16 2012 8:22PM
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E__
Posts: 5751 - Karma: 4,633
Haha, first thing I thought of.
Oct 16 2012 8:24PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
i'm calling 1000000% BULLSHIT on this. if you had banged most of the hot chicks in your area, you should have absolutely zero problem getting some sympathy pussy with two broken arms/hands.

so basically, you're a virgin.
Oct 16 2012 8:26PM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
His name is MILFS and he has 20 posts. Of course it's bullshit
Oct 16 2012 8:28PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
touche...and his icon is wu tang....point, set, and match.
Oct 16 2012 8:31PM
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roddy116
Posts: 10622 - Karma: 7,396
couch method, vaseline and a bag go crazy.
Oct 16 2012 8:32PM
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EricaMN.
Posts: 2704 - Karma: 346
dig a hole in the ground and fuck it
Oct 16 2012 8:58PM
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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
this

or your mother
Oct 16 2012 9:14PM
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Petersaurusrex
Posts: 1380 - Karma: 80
Buy a c-clamp and put sandpaper on either side of the clamp.

Clamp to table, hands free fapping.
Oct 16 2012 9:16PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
remove ribs, suck own dick.
Oct 16 2012 9:17PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,535
Oh fuck yeah!!!


Yo guys, this guy has had sex before that's so fucking tight. Fuck yeah OP. Fuck yeah.
Oct 16 2012 9:21PM
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malux94
Posts: 232 - Karma: 25
Best by far, shits on a whole new level
Oct 16 2012 9:21PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
clicked on this thread thinking "can't believe a mod hasn't seen this yet"

and then saw your post and lol'd everywhere
Oct 16 2012 9:23PM
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Dragonite.
Posts: 1657 - Karma: 431
Use your feet.
Oct 16 2012 9:25PM
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WPoch
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 3,831
What if it gets stuck while its on???????
Oct 16 2012 10:43PM
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WPoch
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 3,831
WHAT IF IT GETS STUCK WHILE ITS ON??
Oct 16 2012 10:44PM
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