So then I guess DPS and PMgear are out of the question then...
Take a look at the atomic punx, retailing for $400. Or if you're after something that will be better as an all mountain ski, the K2 Recoil and Line Stepup and Rossignol Scimitar and Surface Double Time and Salomon Pro Pipe skis are all super cheap (under/around $300) in the Evo outlet in all sizes right now.
Moral of the story: Look in the Evo outlet for all your wildest dreams. geartrade.com has some really good deals too.
"What you are feeling is a base burn. The toilet bowl cleaner probably has a really high pH , and therefore must be neutralized with an acid that has a really low pH. So basically, you just need to stuff your asshole with the most acidic shit you can find, battery acid, sulfuric acid, nitric acid, whatever you can get your hands on. its gonna be a chemical showdown in your asshole today my friend."