Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

I just trolled a bible thumper going door to door.

profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,122
she was just like a Lot of people think god is to blame for all the trouble in the world, what do you believe?

I was like "I don't really believe in god to be honest"

Her response "Oh, well what are you're reasons for believing that?"

Me: "well for one, Everyone has made their own choice to do wrong in the world I place the majority of the blame on our governments.  They have the power they abuse the power and are mainly all corrupt and greedy leading most of us to suffer.  I may also say to put it very blunt that there a lot of fucked up people in the world."

Her "well it was god's job to protect and take care of adam and eve's children (insert some bible quote here)"

Me:"Well in my opinion adam and eve's genesis was the creation of man kind from a different species our 'god' is just pretty much aliens."

Her "well I could see how you might believe that."  (Continues on with more bible stuff saying something about how satan was going to be the one who was going to be the one who is trying to corrupt man kind and yada yada)

Me: "yah well satan was an angel who betrayed god, and I used to go to church I know all about this kinda stuff.  I have just chosen my own beliefs from it.  god is aliens satan is a different alien all the different angels are just being from another planet."

Her"well I can see you're reasoning but maybe if you have time I'd like to talk with you about this some other time."

Me:"Yah, maybe"

Her:"if you're home"



in all honesty I don't think she's gonna be coming back.. lol


Mar 7 2012 1:25PM
0 0
profile picture
vermontana
Posts: 479 - Karma: 709
was she hot?
Mar 7 2012 1:48PM
0 0
profile picture
GrabsForFun
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 396
Cool story
Mar 7 2012 1:49PM
0 0
profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,122
she was pretty old... lol
Mar 7 2012 1:50PM
0 0
profile picture
fujarome
Posts: 8630 - Karma: 1,561
doesn't sound like you trolled her at all...


in fact, you were quite a bit nicer than i usually am to those people.
Mar 7 2012 1:51PM
0 0
profile picture
Amadeus.
Posts: 3050 - Karma: 382
yeah not really a troll I would of been like talking about how I worshipped lucifer, or about how God talked to me and said that all Christians were going to hell and only muslims were going to go to paradise.
Mar 7 2012 1:55PM
0 0
profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,122
hahaha i was going in a bit of a different direction still i think it was funny
Mar 7 2012 1:58PM
0 0
profile picture
Larry.Lawnmower.
Posts: 194 - Karma: 25
How is this trolling? You just shared your beliefs and reasons for them...
Mar 7 2012 2:00PM
0 0
profile picture
SickJib_Brit
Posts: 824 - Karma: 151
I ALWAYS answer my door naked when I see they are standing on my front doorstep. I don't know why they keep coming back :\ .....
Mar 7 2012 2:03PM
0 0
profile picture
DUKES
Posts: 5149 - Karma: 686
when i answer the door i do it this way. people stare
Mar 7 2012 2:07PM
0 0
profile picture
MNS
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 3,241
answer
Mar 7 2012 2:08PM
0 0
profile picture
Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
i don't think you know the definition of trolling
Mar 7 2012 2:59PM
0 0
profile picture
Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
quality
Mar 7 2012 3:07PM
0 0
profile picture
geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
i had a couple mormon kids ask me if i would be interested in talking and having everlasting life through the love of god. (was walking my dog on the street when they approached) said 'i can't right now' and they said, 'so you don't want everlasting life?' just the way the whole discourse unfolded with them kinda had me at a loss for words as i walked away. i was kinda amazed that this kind of stuff goes through peoples heads and also pissed off that these people can arbitrarily decide if god loves me or not. i'm saying this as someone who is not atheist, but an agnostic theist.
Mar 7 2012 3:34PM
0 0
profile picture
roddy116
Posts: 10622 - Karma: 7,396
lol whut, what movie is that.
Mar 7 2012 3:39PM
0 0
profile picture
ForeverYung
Posts: 8385 - Karma: 2,060
I would have said god is not real and church is bull shit. Inb4 religious shit storm
Mar 7 2012 3:44PM
0 0
profile picture
Simmo
Posts: 512 - Karma: 28
At my university house we used to invite them in and then sit there playing xbox and drinking beer while they tried to tell us about the bible and shit. Thats trolling.
Mar 7 2012 3:46PM
0 0
profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,122
i dont nessicarily beleive that and there could be a god for all i know next time if she comes back im gonna pull out my necronimicin book and be like you have opened my eyes to satan... lol
Mar 7 2012 3:54PM
0 0
profile picture
stoned_sorcerer
Posts: 659 - Karma: 72
This.
Mar 7 2012 4:12PM
0 0
profile picture
iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
he wasnt asking her age, is she hot?
Mar 7 2012 4:15PM
0 0
profile picture
tBatt
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 580
.
Mar 7 2012 5:02PM
0 0
profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,122
no... lol also the reason i did what i did was because i dont think its up to someone to convert someone else its upbto them to want to change... i am actually more of a buddhist than anything
Mar 7 2012 5:53PM
0 0
profile picture
ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 618
A kid in my town died because he was throwing water balloons out of a car window at Jehovah witnesses, the driver got to close and he struck a telephone poll.

RIP Ryan
Mar 7 2012 7:17PM
0 0
profile picture
TheStamos
Posts: 9311 - Karma: 910
twice in the last 2 weeks someone has come up to me and told me if i don't believe in Jesus Christ im going to hell when i die because there book says so. Well I dont see any authors on the cover of your book so i don't really believe what it says. Its hard to be nice when they go on and on and yeah, next time im just gonna say i don't believe in something that was written bo whoever decided to write it and then passed through word of mouth then written again a few more times by whoever. Fuck that shit.
I've got a book that tells me how to cook food, when i follow those rules i get a product then i can say hey this shit is good and find the author and pat him/her on the back. Cant really do that with a nameless fairy tail can I?
The guy today told me that earthquakes are a sign of doomsday. I studied Geology, since the surface of the earth cooled there have been hundreds of thousands of earthquakes every year.It was hard not to laugh.
Mar 7 2012 8:07PM
0 0
profile picture
Dr.Gnar
Posts: 896 - Karma: 197
That's amateur trolling. You should have made like a Satanist and made up your own quotes from "a book I read at the library" and just keep quoting made up shit that contradicts her quotes from "a book I read at the library" "don't remember the title".
Mar 7 2012 8:12PM
0 0
profile picture
ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 618
Some of my friends in middle school started talking to one of them, invited her in, sat her down, poured her a drink (can't remember, water or tea or something)

Then they talked to her for a solid 10 minutes discussing Jesus Christ and all of that.

Then they just randomly started yelling "Hail Satan" and stood up and started yelling it like they were possessed. They were 13 years old at the time. She got up and left.


Mar 7 2012 8:18PM
0 0
profile picture
HolySchimmel
Posts: 1601 - Karma: 1,297
I like the way you did it. There is no need to be disrespectfull or anything towards these people. They made that choice in their life, and if they like going from door to door, beiing laughed at every second door (but keep on doing that), I still have some kind of respect for them, since I dont think its easy to do that. If they believe in what they teach, so be it. Its on everyone to decide for himself what to think about these matters, so I wont laugh at someone who thinks soemthing different. I dont believe in god either, but that is no reason to fuck with those people (even though it gets really tempting from time to time :P )
Mar 8 2012 3:43AM
0 0
profile picture
HeyImPeter
Posts: 190 - Karma: 12
Pics or it didn't happen
Mar 8 2012 11:51AM
0 0
profile picture
CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
should have done this:


Mar 8 2012 12:00PM
0 0
profile picture
howlongcanausern
Posts: 4982 - Karma: 1,737
DIVINE JUSTICE!!!

any links to news or anything to confirm this?
Mar 8 2012 12:04PM
0 0
profile picture
Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
when she come back pretend like you were visited by said alien satan because he got pissed you told his secret. 
also:    twitch a lot
Mar 8 2012 12:05PM
0 0
profile picture
Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
some bitch questioned my integrity one day when i turned down her salvation army donation request by saying ,

"so you won't even listen to what i have to say? you aren't willing to donate anything living in this nice neighborhood with a big beautiful home?" or something along those lines while she was shaking her head at me, and i just lost it.

i responded with ,

"look, lady, it's not your place to question what i do with money that i've earned, nor is it your place to assume that i do no charity work. my family has donated a fucking old VAN to the salvation army, something we could have sold for a couple grand. we fill up garbage bags several times a year full of old clothing, some of which we've never even worn, and you're honestly going to stand there and try to guilt trip me and give me that condescending tone like i'm a bad person for not donating to you right here, right now? i suggest you try a new tactic and don't assume you know anything about who you're talking to. i'll donate what i want, to who i want, on my own time. not yours." and i just shut the door.

i honestly couldn't help myself. it's one of those rare moments where i'll be a dick to someone, but if you dare question my integrity or try to make me out to be some evil, heartless person, you're going to get it. that's one thing i will not tolerate.
Mar 8 2012 12:20PM
0 0
profile picture
CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
boom ROASTED
Mar 8 2012 12:22PM
0 0
profile picture
introvert
Posts: 4718 - Karma: 1,482
.
Mar 8 2012 12:25PM
0 0
profile picture
Jib-Ninja
Posts: 2819 - Karma: 20
This, i always act blunted out of my mind answering the door in my sandles, Man Dukes, no shirt acting hippy as fuck.
Mar 8 2012 12:25PM
0 0
profile picture
ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 618
http://thedailystar.com/local/x112914453/Cobleskill-man-injured-after-striking-utility-pole

Mar 8 2012 12:27PM
0 0
profile picture
PANDA_SWAGGA
Posts: 490 - Karma: 16
haha i it lost at this, +k to you sir.
Mar 8 2012 12:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
some Jahovas Witnesses just came to my door handing out pamphlet invitations.   They were nice and friendly and not pushy at all.
And one of them was SMOKING hot!     ....what a waste.
Mar 21 2012 10:15AM
0 0
profile picture
Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
Should have hit on them I bet that would have made them super uncomfortable.
Mar 21 2012 11:40AM
0 0
profile picture
DaSnowPaTROLL
Posts: 8 - Karma: 12
Click for larger image
Mar 21 2012 11:51AM
0 0
profile picture
MFM
Posts: 842 - Karma: 77
Once answered the door to two hot mormon bitches eating a sandwich in my boxers with a half chub. It was really awkward for them.
Mar 21 2012 11:55AM
0 0
profile picture
ironic
Posts: 735 - Karma: 104
I feel like there should be a guide book of catch phrases to deal with missionaries more quickly. Not that I don't respect religion.. just can't deal with a person imposing their beliefs on everyone else.
Mar 21 2012 11:55AM
0 0
profile picture
Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
Yeah I should have tried to land a 3some with 2 JWs. That would be pretty Barney Stinson epic,
Mar 21 2012 12:04PM
0 0
profile picture
The_Big_Tuna
Posts: 799 - Karma: 75
she's confused as fuck.
Mar 21 2012 2:46PM
0 0
profile picture
yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
when they knock on your door and ask you if you wanna know about jesus, just tell them youre rastifarian, invite them in for a few bowls and ask her if she would like to meet him.
Mar 21 2012 3:01PM
0 0
profile picture
prosnurfer
Posts: 1842 - Karma: 83

once these mormon missionarys came to myt house to talk to my mom. i was down stairs getting baked as fuck i walk up see it was them so i pass the door and go up and im liek "mom the mormons are here" she goes "well im super bussy i cant tal;k to them"  and then im liek "but im really baked i dont wanna answer it"

she goes well just dont....

so i cant just leave these nice mromons standing at the door when i just walked past. i go down stairs and open the door and they get blasted with a huge wiff of bud. im all baked as fuck and im liek uhhhh my moms in the shower right now.

there liek ohhh ok well maybe we all can sit down and talk about the loard it would be really good for the whole faimly., im liek maybe another time

back to the bong

Mar 21 2012 6:16PM
0 0
profile picture
Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,352
stick to making wax sculuptures...
Mar 21 2012 6:19PM
0 0
profile picture
FatWhore
Posts: 2213 - Karma: 1,098
Click for larger image
Mar 21 2012 6:19PM
0 0
profile picture
jmasterp
Posts: 1976 - Karma: 233
I just where a yamaka, just to fuck with them. I'm not Jewish, but I think it's funny. It's been what my brother and I have done since we were 14. That screws with them.
Mar 21 2012 7:15PM
0 0
profile picture
soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
troll
Mar 21 2012 7:20PM
0 0
profile picture
Lucas
Posts: 4877 - Karma: 1,520
I heard you can tell them to mow your lawn and they will.
Mar 21 2012 7:31PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)