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Help! this woman keeps blocking me in at work!

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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,147

Cliff's notes: woman keeps blocking me by parallel parking too close on purpose-- ideas for revenge?

We have to use street parking at work. I work in an urban area and it isn't as if you get a choice in where you get to park. This woman lives on the street that my work is located on and she harasses people who park along the street. She parks as close to your bumper as she can get so that you can't get out.

She'll do this and then sit in her living room, staring out the window as you cuss and struggle to get out.

One time she blocked me in and I went to her house and asked nicely if she would move her car. Even though I was really nice she basically told me to get fucked. So I told her she didn't own the street parking and she called me a bitch. I may or may not have called her a cunt.

She has a driveway so she doesn't even need the street parking. People are courteous and leave a full space on either side of her driveway but she'll still block you in if you're within about 1000 feet of her house.  If you park near her driveway, she'll parallel park in front of her own driveway to block you.

Today I left about 300-400 feet of empty space between my back bumper and her driveway and she still blocked me in!  I've finally gotten to where I leave about 3.5-4 feet in front of my car so that I can get out, but she has two cars and sometimes does a tag team on either side of your car. Today I had about 2.5 feet in front of me so did about a 2000 point turnabout to get out.

I've called the cops before and they say they can't do anything about it.

What are some ideas to get back at her or get her to stop? Illegal and legal suggestions are welcome although legal is preferred as I don't want to get fired.  Anything I can do to her car that doesn't cause damage and is legal but messes with her? Or any contraption I can make for my car that I can latch onto the bumpers or something that will "hold" space in front of and behind my car?

HELP!

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Feb 29 2012 7:29PM
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dirty.
Posts: 736 - Karma: 69
my second thought.
first was obviously shit on her hood. (would would be a nice contrast on the white body)
third would be to call a tow truck and act like its your car and its broken down. youll either tow her car away or shell see it happening and freak out and maybe learn a lesson
i wish this was happening to me so bad, i love shit like this. i would make that lady wish she was never born
Feb 29 2012 8:26PM
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StreetsOfRage
Posts: 1180 - Karma: 4
But then you risk getting those car towed away, or broken into. Also you can not leave them there for days on end. with a friends car you can leave it for a day depending on how the long the owner is willing to leave it. Also with an free car if it does get towed away you won't have to pay the pesky fine to get it out. they can have the damn car haha.
Feb 29 2012 8:27PM
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Skittle.
Posts: 2537 - Karma: 718
GIANT dildos on the front and back of car, or go get some skunk scent from cabellas and put it in her grill
Feb 29 2012 8:27PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,675
Ah yeah true. Just get her car towed if she parks in front of her driveway. Can't you get someones car towed just for blocking you in anyway?
Feb 29 2012 8:29PM
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Shza.
Posts: 425 - Karma: 92
Put drugs in her car, and then call the cops.
Feb 29 2012 8:30PM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456
 does anyone park behind her car??
Feb 29 2012 8:30PM
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japanada
Posts: 13784 - Karma: 1,957
Park her in, as long as the two cars switch spots, there is nothing that can be done about it. Id just let the air out of her tires or remove the wheel balance weights. It makes your car vib like mad at speeds over 45mph. Or park right in front of her house, so she can only park behind you.
Feb 29 2012 8:30PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 618
kill her
Feb 29 2012 8:33PM
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Wall_Nut
Posts: 629 - Karma: 113
While there are some great ideas in here, let's be realistic. You're going to have to continue parking here every day for the forseeable future, yes? Don't do anything that would give her incentive to take revenge. Only with the modification of your car in some way as myself and a couple others mentioned, or by using one of the buddy parking systems suggested, should this issue be dealt with.

             There are plenty of legal things you could do to really get her blood boiling, but mind the vengeful spirit that is apparently present in this person. Also, I'm not surprised she drives a KIA.
Feb 29 2012 8:34PM
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DERS.
Posts: 6299 - Karma: 1,293
lost it.

i agree with joolia. find out her phone number and put that shit on /b
Feb 29 2012 8:34PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
If that's your car in front in the OP, I see that you have a metal bumper and she has a plastic bumper. Take a picture of how close she is parked. Go up and ask her to move so you can get out. Record the conversation. When she tells you to fuck yourself, just bump the fuck out of her car to get out. This is pretty common practice in every major city I've ever lived in....Chicago, NYC, Philly. Your metal bumper isn't going to get damaged, but her bumper will get torn to fuck.
Feb 29 2012 8:36PM
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AMcCraw
Posts: 845 - Karma: 703
not the nicest or most legal option, or cheap but still...

go buy some weed, or some coke. Then find similar product such as oregano or sugar yada yada fill up a massive bag with enough real product its passible. Put said bag under her car taped to the bottom or somehow in her car. Report suspicious activity as well as seeing that there and bam police impound her car as profit of criminal activity and she gets arrested for dealing.... maybe a little to far?
Feb 29 2012 8:36PM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456

take a shit in her air intake..

or

put 1 screw under each of her tires so when he starts up and goes.. BLAMO

Feb 29 2012 8:38PM
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Troy.
Posts: 5070 - Karma: 12,545
Metal pole in the trailer hitch.
Feb 29 2012 8:42PM
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plaplapla
Posts: 435 - Karma: 70
buy a couple road cones and put them in front and behind your car. she won't know what to do!
Feb 29 2012 8:43PM
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Shark.
Posts: 3158 - Karma: 270
http://poopsenders.com/


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Feb 29 2012 8:43PM
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japanada
Posts: 13784 - Karma: 1,957
More like psssssssssss, a screw wont make a tire explore. itll be a slow leak.
Feb 29 2012 8:43PM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456

meh, happened to me and it went flat within an hour..   either way.  Or you can try and do damage to her tires sidewall cuz if that shit gets a whole in it she'd need a new tire.. unpatchable.

Feb 29 2012 8:47PM
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[tk]
Posts: 3863 - Karma: 1,906
until she keys your car back.
Feb 29 2012 8:48PM
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11986 - Karma: 12,239
shoot her with pee
Feb 29 2012 8:53PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
you could also dump a glass of piss down the vents under the windshield wipers. her car will wreak like piss every time she turns on the air/heat.
Feb 29 2012 9:13PM
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Parks.
Posts: 5612 - Karma: 1,093
slash her tire..push her car back so u can get out and be dun with her shit
Feb 29 2012 9:20PM
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p-fo
Posts: 9372 - Karma: 6,155
This is the best I have seen so far, good combination of simplicity and effectiveness. This will require patience, but once she does this again, call the police or tow truck or whoever it would be and report a vehicle blocking your driveway. Give the address, etc. Sit back and watch...
Feb 29 2012 9:27PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,147
not typically. I work at 7, and she's never there when I get to work--  maybe works the night shift? She comes during the middle of the day and basically messes with whoever she can. It's not everyday or anything, but I'd say a few time a month.
Feb 29 2012 10:26PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,147

Thanks for all of the replies and LOLs. Will reply back when I decide what I'm going to do, or have updates.

Feb 29 2012 10:27PM
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scratchproteen
Posts: 5173 - Karma: 286
send her a gallon of gorilla shit.

[url]http://www.shitsenders.com/[/url]
Mar 1 2012 12:24AM
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chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,122
all it takes is a pebble in the valve cap.

but what you should do is bring car dollies and a hydraulic jack jack it up and put them under the front wheels and try and push it. If she has the parking break you will have to do it to the back as well. push it back 10 feet and then take the jacks out. If you only have to do the front wheels this should only take you 2 mins, with both front and back maybe 5 mins but if she is watching she will likely come out anyways.

Just make it seem like it is no huge inconvenience to move her car. This will piss her off more than any amount of revenge will
Mar 1 2012 12:27AM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
if she actually is watching you, just keep taping her car until you can get out of the spot. not hard enough to cause any damage, but enough so that her car jerks a bit.


Or, get one of your coworkers to tag team her car, and block her in.
Mar 1 2012 12:34AM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11630 - Karma: 24,465
simple. make something like this. park. fold it up when you wanna leave and youll have extra space.

Click for larger image

outsmarting her will make her more angry than anything else you could do

Mar 1 2012 12:39AM
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Dr.Gnar
Posts: 896 - Karma: 197

This is practical.  Simply makes it impossible to really block you in.

Mar 1 2012 12:40AM
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S_Jenk
Posts: 345 - Karma: 92
Go buy a 200-500 dollar car and to a hit and run on one of her cars. It's an investment but it'll allow for sweet revenge.
Mar 1 2012 12:40AM
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 323
how nice is your car and how big is it? i would just ram her car, as long as you don't care about yours
Mar 1 2012 12:40AM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11630 - Karma: 24,465
why you no work image?

Click for larger image
Mar 1 2012 12:44AM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
your pic didnt show up for me, but i know what you are saying.

literally, bring along a board or something that you can mount to your bumper once you have parked. it will provide you a cushion of space and you just throw in your trunk when you are ready to leave.

if she does hit it, or move it, call the cops and charge her with hit and run.



You just won this thread! Congrats!
Mar 1 2012 12:48AM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11630 - Karma: 24,465
sweet. whats my prize? i hope it comes with double prize money

Mar 1 2012 1:00AM
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icon1234
Posts: 3081 - Karma: 1,475
That was my idea too =(.
Mar 1 2012 1:02AM
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pastysmasher
Posts: 780 - Karma: 664
get some super strong cling film, completely wrap her car up. she wont be goin nowhere!
Mar 1 2012 1:03AM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 11992 - Karma: 9,212
parlk with a trailer. take off traler move it sideways. back up pull forward reattach.

Mar 1 2012 1:16AM
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Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,122
smear poop under her door handles...  works every time.
Mar 1 2012 1:26AM
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PeteSpin
Posts: 316 - Karma: 18
Get a sawzall and cut her car in half. Then ask politely if there's anything you can do to help.
Mar 1 2012 1:38AM
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45.
Posts: 3164 - Karma: 170
1) Super Glue in her key locks

2) Potato in exhaust

3) Lick/Suck on Jolly Ranchers and stick them on her windshield - WARNING: Has high potential to FUCK her car up if the weather gets really cold wherever your at. Otherwise just a major pain and stains the glass sometimes.

4) Stick marbles under the gap between her wipers and hood - they will work their way into nooks and cranny's and just rattle loudly - ANNOYING AS FUCK!

5) Put nails behind her wheels - technically you didn't do anything... just dropped a few picture nails on your walk to your car.


Mar 1 2012 1:39AM
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Jordan
Posts: 4079 - Karma: 2,122
throw a couple nails on the street right behind her tires...
Mar 1 2012 1:42AM
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45.
Posts: 3164 - Karma: 170
She has to be able to remove it though.... You have to slide that out of the hitch. Unless this lady gives her a fair amount of room, she wont be able to wiggle that off of her hitch.
Mar 1 2012 1:46AM
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Bloom.
Posts: 3533 - Karma: 13,167
Take the higher ground and don't do anything to harm her. Your just gonna fuel her if you do anything.

She sounds like she already has a pretty miserable life if she spends that much of her time planning how to piss you off. People like this get energy from negativity so don't even pay attention to her. That will bum her out I think if you just stop caring and stop paying attention to her. If you do start taking shots at her, you're going to give her the fuel to keep being a jerk. So my advice would be to just ignore her. Don't harm her car, don't complain to her, don't do anything to even acknowledge her. That will get really get to her more than anything else.

Buy a trailer hitch or something that extends off of your car so that when work is over you can fold the hitch up or whatever and just peace out with out even having to acknowledge her. That will also drive her insane.

As I said, people like her thrive off of doing things like this. If you don't even pay the slightest amount of attention to her, she will crumble. It amazes me that there are people like this in the world. She needs to do some introspection and learn how to be a decent human being. Please don't sink to her level!
Mar 1 2012 2:06AM
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Whifazoo
Posts: 737 - Karma: 132

write a very small note on sandpaper asking her to not be a dumb bitch (really low grit) stick it face down under a wiper blade, nothing happens if she sees the note but if she dosent and turns the wipers on it will leave really tiny scratches in her line of vision, possibly very annoying especially if she doesnt notice right away. not sure if it would really work but its worth a shot and there is nothing ilegal about it, you were just leaving a note and all you had was sandpaper.

or get 4 big magnets with some weight to them and stick them on the inside of her rims, it will make the car vibrate like no other .

Mar 1 2012 2:08AM
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Toasty.
Posts: 6195 - Karma: 2,278
Lol'd so hard.

Also, just get a valve puller. pop off like the front right and back left.

1 - if she trys to drive it will be like a safari ride

2 - she would have to replace the valve, not just blow it up.
Mar 1 2012 2:21AM
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chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,122
another classic. although it can actually vibrate to the point where previous weights on the rim rattle off and they have to take it to the shop to be balanced again.

seriously though. the best thing you can do is move her car without damaging it and get on with your day!
Mar 1 2012 2:51AM
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MrChevyCelebrity
Posts: 509 - Karma: 406
You just need a big sign that you hang on the back of your car that says please don't park me in... Or write it in window chalk.
Mar 1 2012 8:36AM
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treemobbin
Posts: 254 - Karma: 17
i would find something almost like a big door hinge that sticks out like three feet. when you drive leave it up, but when u park put it down so it sticks out like three feet and then put a lock on it. now she will have to park atleast three feet away
Mar 1 2012 9:08AM
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Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
OK OK OK I GOT THIS

So do the trailer hitch idea, but rather then buying some stupid as shit luggage carrier, the basic idea is get something along the lines of this

Click for larger image

but instead of having an umbrella at the end, modify it to be a straight up fuckin sharpened spike, if she dares pull forward a little to far and bumps it, she'll get a hole in her bumper. Also make sure you have a way of taking it off instead of pulling it out (aka foldable up or to the side, but locks with a pin)


or do the thing where if she parks in front of her own driveway call the cops and tell them its yours.
Extra points if shes home while it happens and starts screaming at the tow guy.
EXTRA EXTRA points if you leave a gopro filming it in your car
Mar 1 2012 9:38AM
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