BURDEN OF BEING A DEMOCRAT.
*things you have to embrace to be a liberal today*
Look here: if you don’t like the joke you’re obviously a bigotous close minded southerner who spends too much time watching NASCAR to appreciate the subtle humor, and satirical genius that is that copy/paste job by midwest okay? Your sense in humor absolutely must fall into line, or you will be swept away by the vast right wing conspiracy that only wants to draft you into the military, and not extend you any government aid, because they hate you. got it? Get your thoughts in line sonny Jim, because there no room for dissent in this day and age. The nation, nay the very world is under right wing assault okay? If you’re going to fight this force of evil, you’re going to need to get a few facts straight first:
1. individual relativism is key (but not really) you see, anything you want to do is okay, okay? Just so long as it isn’t to say that someone is wrong... wait, unless there republicans.. .then they’re wrong, and all of a sudden there is a surety and a universal concept of right and wrong upon which the world turns... but only in this specific circumstance okay? Other than that, relativism is king
2. socialist philosophy, or no philosophy. got it? Now look at how prosperous and productive European socialism has made their nations. see how well the political process in going in the newly established eu. No political strife, great employment rates, and best of all, if you don’t want to work, you don’t have to! its great. This is how America should run. its the only way.
3. (And this above all else) religion is the way of weakness, ignorance, and reliance. You don’t want to be perceived as a simpleton do you? No, of course not. I don’t care where your beliefs come from, what experiences you have had that have brought you to any religious beliefs, but forsake them now. The party is the new religion for you my boy. Here’s you ACLU card fresh from the laminator, boy, doesn’t it look great. Now you can engage in the systematic destruction of Christianity as we know it today!
A few more things on this subject. Never, and I mean never admit to being anti anything, no matter how blatant you know it may appear. Target the enemy, and destroy him. The enemy being anyone of a protestant denomination. Consort with other shady organizations if you must, after all, the enemy of our enemy is our friend. You may support the rights of child molesters, rapists, murderers, minority hate groups, so long as you stand against the tyranny of the white man.
Sir, it all begins here. Start by falling in line today, and perhaps, if you’re really lucky, we can get you an internship helping Hezbollah distribute Fahrenheit 9 11 all over Europe and the Middle East! It will be a dream come true... just don’t you try to think outside of what we tell you, and you’ll be just fine.
the feature is, that some of us are able to joke around without the copy/paste style... well, i did copy/paste that, but i also wrote it... and its just a realevant.
come on midwest. at least get original.
Mercy's eyes are blue
When she places them in front of you
Nothing holds a roman candle to
The solemn warmth you feel inside