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The all mighty NS ladies help.

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StreetsOfRage
Posts: 1180 - Karma: 4
So I need to all mighty NS help that pertains to females. I was dating this girl for a good 6-7 months. Some girl has been pissed off about me dating her for the whole relationship and decided to get even and say I was cheating on her. My girlfriend broke up with me and now its about 3 months later. I still want to see if there is anything there, that maybe I can build on but how do I figure out? we hang out sometimes but only in our group of friends never really alone.
Jan 22 2012 3:59PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
since youre asking for our help, did you do anything that in any way, shape, or form couls have been construed as cheating?
Jan 22 2012 4:02PM
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StreetsOfRage
Posts: 1180 - Karma: 4
nope. not at all.
Jan 22 2012 4:03PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Sounds like your girlfriend wasn't very trusting then. Why wouldn't she believe you over some jealous skank?
Jan 22 2012 4:08PM
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Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
WTF is up with people?! Sucks super bad. The only thing you can do is be honest and hope that she trusts you.

I went through nearly the same thing, but I was the girl. I was really into this guy/dating for a few months, and then (what I thought was a reliable friend) told me that he had been flirting with her and told her that he was only with me to bide the time. So I broke things off. He said it was all lies and what not, but I went with the chicks before dicks things...

Anyway, a few months later, he asked to talk to me. I agreed. We met up and he said it was all a lie. He never had interest in her. He had been missing me the entire time and was sad that I was seeing someone new, but he wanted me to know that he had never meant to hurt me and was sorry that it all happened the way that it did.

I was stunned and amazed and believed him 100%. Cause if you had cheated, you wouldn't care this far out or you would known that it was your fault and wouldn't still try to be with her.

Call her. Tell her you'd like to get coffee or something and be honest again. Unless she's an idiot, she will believe you.
Jan 22 2012 4:10PM
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StreetsOfRage
Posts: 1180 - Karma: 4
I think I am going to try this. I hope she will understand and even if she still does not believe me I could start to build up the trust again and start just talking to her. And the reason she believes the jealous girl over me was because a friend or who I thought was a friend back then backed her up so it was 2 against 1.
Jan 22 2012 4:15PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
This should go to the female logic thread...
Jan 22 2012 4:16PM
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StreetsOfRage
Posts: 1180 - Karma: 4
Havent heard of that.
Jan 22 2012 4:19PM
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SeanTom
Posts: 7936 - Karma: 1,747
it's all the rage.

But OP why'd you wait 3 months? and why didn't you tell that skank off? and why didn't you explain the situation to your girlfriend? my list of questions could go on.
Jan 22 2012 4:25PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Are you very experienced with relationships?

I'm just wondering how you reacted at the time and didn't confront the lying bitch or pursue your innocence to your girlfriend. If it's really been three months it seems like a long time tostay dormant on the issue.
Jan 22 2012 4:27PM
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Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
99% of chicks are backstabbing bitches. We always like to think that someone is our good friend, but it usually isn't the case and we have to find out in shitty situations like this that end up effecting someone else.

Sucks, but happens way more than you can imagine. I've got 1 female friend that I know I can absolutely always trust and 2 more in the works. Every other female, I will trust to a degree, but I've learned that they are all pretty much just there when it is convenient for them to be. Guys though... from what I can tell, you all just kinda say it how it is regardless of your relationship with each other. Reason why my best friend is a guy (as plutonic as it gets).
Jan 22 2012 4:33PM
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ibeski
Posts: 475 - Karma: 62
Click for larger image
Jan 22 2012 4:35PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
*platonic

But this is an interesting subject. To be completely honest, I have never trusted any woman as completely as I've trusted a man, mostly because of the stereotypical, but very true notion of talking behind people's backs. Even most girls who you begin to know and start off "I hate people who talk shit behind others' backs" wait until you've befriended them and poof - they start talking mad shit about people they know and it's pretty fucking awkward.

It's not like no one ever does that, gotta relieve societal pressure and discomfort towards people somehow, but the degree at which women do this compared to men and the nihilistic attitude is just fucking insane.
Jan 22 2012 4:39PM
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StreetsOfRage
Posts: 1180 - Karma: 4
I tried hard to make things right for the first couple weeks, then it started to just get separated between us and I felt like I needed to give it more time. I did explain the situation to my girlfriend, but when the lying skank had another one of my friends to back her up it looked bad on my part. think of it this way two of your friends both say a guy is cheating, and that guy only has his statment to protect him against the accusations. looks like 2 v 1 and I lose.
Jan 22 2012 4:42PM
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SeanTom
Posts: 7936 - Karma: 1,747
That fucking blows man. To be honest unless you're trying to get your dick wet i wouldn't put to much thought into your ex. I mean, she believed some skank and a friend over, well, you.
Jan 22 2012 4:46PM
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Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
gracias. Love when you correct people... even when it's me you are correcting.

I think a lot of it is sociological/psychological. We are raised thinking that women are deceitful and rude and that we should be lusted for.. I find it amazing when I see girls blow guys off at bars and get upset for guys hitting on them when they are dressed like whores. Seriously? You're going to flaunt your shit because you think everyone should be wanting to sleep with you or be your friend, but you're annoyed when they aren't of an expected quality? We breed them. Then we encourage it with tv/movies. Like the show Gossip Girl. Yeah, I watch it. Get over it. But the 2 main girls on the show are best friends and still fuck with each other and go behind each others backs... then they become friends again. WTF?! That is not a good friendship. I don't know if I can think of any "friendships" in media where there are 2 girls that have legitimate caring/honest relationships... yet there are so many guy relationships that are this way.
Jan 22 2012 5:01PM
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Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
It's just how females are.

We all really wan't to believe that we should be able to trust a female and that guys are the liars.

Then we get oldish and realize how naive we were and that pretty much all girls are bitches.

The same thing goes for pretty much every female out there, so if this is the only issue he has had with her, he's doing pretty good.
Jan 22 2012 5:10PM
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NSwidow
Posts: 888 - Karma: 3,219
The way i approach things like this is: would you rather a girl that believes others over you, or do you want a girlfriend who, when told these things, laughs in their face?
If you did nothing, then it's not your loss. She showed her colors. One day there will be a girl who trusts you so much that when told these lies she just laughs and walks away. I've been in a relationship with 100% trust before and it's so fucking relieving. Go be with someone who doesn't have shit friends and bitchiness and crap attached. Go find someone who likes you and trusts you and thats the whole story.
Jan 22 2012 6:34PM
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StreetsOfRage
Posts: 1180 - Karma: 4
I agree with you on your statements. Yes this was the first problem I ever had with her. We still actually have never had a fight to date. We really talked things out and stuff like that.
Jan 23 2012 12:41AM
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Bateman
Posts: 8590 - Karma: 8,600
Thrust her. Perhaps she thrusts you
Jan 23 2012 7:14AM
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Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,122
man that sucks, if there's one thing I 100% hate its liars.  but yah man try to work things out get her one on one talk about it and just say nothing has ever happened and also mention she is the only one you ever thought about.  If there's anything else I hate its when you fall for a woman and say you love her and she just thinks that you're just saying it because that's what they wanna hear or whatever they think a logical explanation is..  but anyways hope shit pans out for you man but don't be disappointed if it doesn't just be happy if it does.  good luck man!
Jan 23 2012 7:30AM
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