To: The fucker that hit my car today in the school parking lot
First of all, I'd like to give you a nice cold FUCK YOU. That car is fucking new, and my parents are paying for it. They fucking trusted me with it, and now you've come and ruined it.
There is a dent right above the rear right headlight. And a scratch. You didn't have the fucking decency to leave me a note? You're a god damn coward. Fucking own up to what you did. I have to face the wrath of angry mom and dad because of some ignorant little SHIT who decided he was going to bump my innocent, cute Mazda and get away with it.
I'm sorry, you won't. I'm talking to the security guy and I'm going to watch the footage and I'm going to find you and I'm going to kill you and I'm going to eat your brains AND NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT AT ALL.
You messed with the wrong bitch (and that bitch's parents)