Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

100% accurate way of judging a stranger's skiing ability.

profile picture
Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,861
Watch them walk down stairs in ski boots.
Jan 7 2012 2:40AM
0 0
profile picture
PartyHon
Posts: 2019 - Karma: 425
pretty sure he ment your hand are like in front of you all the time/ arms locked in one position
Jan 9 2012 10:10PM
0 0
profile picture
Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
Yea your arm are definitely supposed to be out front. Gapers are stuck in the back seat with arms dangling back or swinging / zombie status out front and all over.
Jan 9 2012 10:22PM
0 0
profile picture
Wood_Wizard
Posts: 805 - Karma: 899
ahhh that makes more sense, was a little confused as to what he meant
Jan 9 2012 10:30PM
0 0
profile picture
RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
Click for larger image
Jan 9 2012 11:58PM
0 0
profile picture
Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
luke van valin is the greatest
Jan 10 2012 1:12AM
0 0
profile picture
.Ian.
Posts: 1568 - Karma: 71
Haha I know, he really is! He's hilarious.
Jan 10 2012 1:17AM
0 0
profile picture
kingcomet32
Posts: 638 - Karma: 13
if im walking through the parking lot ill grab in between the bindings and just carry them in a manner similar to the texas briefcase, if i clip out of my skis and need to carry them i hook my pointer fingers under the toe piece and drag the tails (only on snow)

shits legit, i wear a backpack bag and separated my shoulder so any shoulder carries are inconvenient
Jan 10 2012 1:23AM
0 0
profile picture
nkmo.
Posts: 3994 - Karma: 285
You don't face the stairs, you ride switch, looking over the shoulder.

Ill do it on occasion if the stairs are steep, its the most efficient way down. Otherwise its a forward facing side step.
Jan 10 2012 1:35AM
0 0
profile picture
Skithedeep
Posts: 645 - Karma: 39
false. if you put your brakes together correctly, your ski will not slide, and you can rest the binding on the back of your shoulder.

and for tele skis, i have no fucking idea
Jan 10 2012 3:47AM
0 0
profile picture
PlaygroundRapist
Posts: 1307 - Karma: 26
He has a sexy voice.
Jan 10 2012 4:54AM
0 0
profile picture
SpliffyJ
Posts: 778 - Karma: 565
Hahaha this is so true you can judge how good they are by how they walk down stairs in ski boots and how thet carry theor skies.,always works for me
Jan 10 2012 7:03AM
0 0
profile picture
SwaggerJester5
Posts: 277 - Karma: 62
Hahaha this is true!
Jan 10 2012 2:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Bishop
Posts: 22671 - Karma: 75,830
Now you're fucking talking.
Jan 10 2012 3:06PM
0 0
profile picture
freestyler540
Posts: 13044 - Karma: 18,268
I look at confidence. Its all in the body posture and how they ski.
Jan 10 2012 7:06PM
0 0
profile picture
roddy116
Posts: 10622 - Karma: 7,397
no
Jan 10 2012 7:12PM
0 0
profile picture
ironic
Posts: 735 - Karma: 104
It happens to be called the ski boot swagger- I practice daily to keep up with the cool kids.
Jan 10 2012 7:17PM
0 0
profile picture
dbchili
Posts: 2555 - Karma: 1,657
are you implying that they tuck down because they see no reason in riding anything but park? that's absurd

skiing stops at the last feature in the park you know, and resumes on the first one once you're back up the lift
Jan 10 2012 7:29PM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51257 - Karma: 157,314
grab their dick, if they get mad and run away they arent gay
Jan 10 2012 7:34PM
0 0
profile picture
EC-Skier
Posts: 3899 - Karma: 668
this
Jan 10 2012 7:42PM
0 0
profile picture
crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
...wait what?
Jan 10 2012 10:53PM
0 0
profile picture
Tucks
Posts: 2120 - Karma: 161
The tried and true method used to be bindings for me...now that everyone is buying fks 140/griffons it has since become more difficult to weed out ability based on bindings. Still I feel if people are laying down the money for Sally drivers; jester pros; fks/pivot 18 they are bound to be fairly good.
Jan 11 2012 11:19AM
0 0
profile picture
skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
saw a complete gaper decked out in all new gear, new skis and fks 180s.

I wanted to bitchslap the fuck out of him, but i figure the torn ligaments will be bad enough.
Jan 18 2012 3:02PM
0 0
profile picture
japanada
Posts: 13784 - Karma: 1,957
I hold my skis n poles in one hand, my beer in the other. Glad I have ape hands I guess.
Jan 18 2012 3:09PM
0 0
profile picture
TOAST.
Posts: 7259 - Karma: 33,216
What is so hard about just walking down steps normally. its loud but not really that hard. Or slide down the railing.
Jan 18 2012 3:10PM
0 0
profile picture
AcidKneeDrop
Posts: 890 - Karma: 279
I lost it when I saw this guys boots
Jan 21 2012 7:13PM
0 0
profile picture
VD.
Posts: 4054 - Karma: 4,564
BEAST
Jan 22 2012 1:09AM
0 0
profile picture
Dibs
Posts: 496 - Karma: 86
I lold
Jan 22 2012 1:16AM
0 0
profile picture
dispatchQ_main
Posts: 2619 - Karma: 629
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH
Jan 22 2012 1:31AM
0 0
profile picture
NSwidow
Posts: 888 - Karma: 3,219
Nope, defs tips down. If one keeps sliding...then flip them over. hahahahaha. The breaks are a little cross, wether tips up or down, one will still be on top, so just flip them over and they wont slide. Also why tips down is because (obviously unless they're center mounted) is the balance. The tips re longer and so it helps so much with evening out the weight of the bindings. It's tips down for sure. People who carrying tails down are failed attempts. (i have no idea about carrying teles, so this is excluding those)
Jan 22 2012 9:11AM
0 0
profile picture
MJOHare
Posts: 9 - Karma: 10
oh god its so true....

Jan 22 2012 12:18PM
0 0
profile picture
corona
Posts: 12751 - Karma: 32,251
nah you gotta keep your tips up.

exhibit A:

this is the most ergonomic way to carry a pair of skis, where you can do a half rotation over the skis then grip the tails from the top down. it keeps everything together so they're not sliding all over the place, is comfortable, and very versatile.

if tips are down you wouldn't be able to do this.

Click for larger image

Jan 22 2012 1:41PM
0 0
profile picture
stoned_sorcerer
Posts: 659 - Karma: 72
Maybe he's gay but ran away because you're ugly.
Jan 22 2012 2:12PM
0 0
profile picture
californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
how is shit sliding all over the place if tips are down? the brakes stop the sliding any way you have them? toepiece rests just behind your trap, and arm goes over the ski and grabs onto the inside of the upturned nose. ends up being nearly perfectly balanced for me; my arm just rests atop the ski, and everything is balanced.

no slippage, perfect length, and keeps the tails up in the air so you dont clock anyone when walking through crowds.


the skis should never be sliding unless you have no brakes on the ski, or you are a gaper...


Jan 22 2012 3:10PM
0 0
profile picture
corona
Posts: 12751 - Karma: 32,251
bingo.

those are tele's.

with my downhill they're twins and almost centre mount, so it makes zero difference whether tips are up or down.


But the main point is if I'm walking up a hill I want the most comfortable position that I don't need to adjust the entire way up. After much trial, that is indeed the most comfortable position, where your arm is completely at ease. It balances the ski with the weight of the arm and you don't have to actively be gripping anything. Which is great when it's cold. you can tuck your fingers up, leave the work to your wrist, and keep on trucking.

If tips are down then there's no way of being able to have your arm passively resting while keeping proper balance on the ski.
Jan 22 2012 3:17PM
0 0
profile picture
NSwidow
Posts: 888 - Karma: 3,219
Yeah in the picture they're teles, but my thingy was about non telemark skis. I have NO idea about teles. And yeah i also said that if they're centre mounted it doesnt matter, only when theyre set regular. But yeah, your skis (non tele) should defs not be sliding everywhere, if they are, just flip them over.
Jan 22 2012 3:51PM
0 0
profile picture
kingcomet32
Posts: 638 - Karma: 13
I was hiking a decent distance the other day and carried them like you would set up to do squats.

Put the edge against your neck,back the little shelf where youd put the bar for squats. Drape an arm up and over the skis, with a little forward lean theyre locked on your back and your arms are at rest. This works good for going uphill.
Jan 26 2012 6:54PM
0 0
profile picture
Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
this is truth.   at least for the most part
Jan 26 2012 7:11PM
0 0
profile picture
Randy_Quench
Posts: 5447 - Karma: 4,342
i dont want to toot my own horn, whatever that means, but i am a fucking boss at stairs in ski boots.

want a real ski boot challenge? start your car and pull it up to the lodge for your friends with your boots on.
Jan 26 2012 7:19PM
0 0
profile picture
ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
dont forget this one:

single stick drag = park rat, mainly rails.
Jan 26 2012 9:07PM
0 0
profile picture
Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Ski straight into the building, down the stairs, to your locker, eject next to your locker = boss
Jan 26 2012 9:27PM
0 0
profile picture
Blindsurfer
Posts: 2252 - Karma: 2,785
i actually do this all the time ahhaha people look at me like im retarded
Jan 26 2012 9:50PM
0 0
profile picture
geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
you got it. vinnie f never thought to flip the skis over so the brakes interlock. what a genius.
Jan 26 2012 10:53PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)