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Letter from girls friends dad.

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october
Posts: 324 - Karma: 34
my girl friends dad sent this to me and I have decided to never step foot in the fuckers house again. I posted it here just to see what you guys thought.



I know you probably don't care what I think but here's the deal - if you're an integral part of Sarah's life you're part of mine. So, for what its worth, here's my asshole redneck view on you.

Its time to get your shit right and MAN UP. Using others and blaming others for your own screw-ups is pathetic. Its not that I care so much about your DUI, its that you can't face the reality that YOU and only you got it, and only you can turn it around. Blaming Sarah is the pinnacle of being a loser. Look in the mirror and accept that you screwed up. Get off your ass and get right with life. Getting fired from a job is one thing - but - you've been fired from every job you've ever had!!! At what point do you get it that - YOU have to pull your weight. Being a cool slacker might make you interesting to your bro's but it makes you an asshole to the rest of the world. Sometimes when you screw up you have to take what you can get, make ends meet, and pick yourself up to get things right for yourself. When you do what it takes - it will work out - but, whining to Mommy and blaming others will never get you anything beyond USELESS.

If you're still reading - I'm surprised. But maybe there's hope. Just so you know - I don't carry grudges and I can get over my current hostility towards you. I think you could be a damn decent person. I can move on and forget quite easily - I just hope somehow it matters to you, marginally. I just think its time you took a long hard look in the mirror and wake up to what is looking back at you. Potential - yes....but not unless YOU make that potential happen. You may have to sacrifice a few fun times, you may have to accept the pitifullness of your past and be honest with yourself about the remedies required. You may have to quit using others to get your needs met - especially your own Mom. The only person that can fix anything regarding YOU - is YOU. Respect is earned. Right now you have none from anyone that knows you well. Don't confuse sympathy with respect.

At this point I hope you turn things around and earn my - & others who care about you - respect. It really wouldn't take a lot of time - but it will take a lot of effort and acceptance on your part. Words will mean nothing. Actions will be the only cure. You WILL be judged by what YOU do.


Jan 5 2012 2:00AM
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saskskierftw
Posts: 898 - Karma: 62
I lost it soo hard. And I'm in class
Jan 5 2012 10:37AM
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railbomber
Posts: 251 - Karma: 23
I feel for you man, it sounds like you got into a really shitty situation with all of that. The best thing I could think of to do would be use all this shit as motivation to get your life back together, whether or not that includes the girl or not (I'd personally say move on but to each his own). Once you stop worrying about the bullshit like cheating girls and people who don't always have all the facts, it'll be way easier to deal with the dui and finding a new job.
Jan 5 2012 10:40AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51257 - Karma: 157,315
good use is good
Jan 5 2012 10:43AM
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howlongcanausern
Posts: 4982 - Karma: 1,737
fuck dude that sucks. i can't imagine a worse day than that.

you should probably dump her
Jan 5 2012 10:52AM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456
.
Jan 5 2012 10:53AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,675
You should write him a letter.
Jan 5 2012 11:12AM
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.Blake.
Posts: 1911 - Karma: 38
she cheated on you...and you are still with her? fucking idiot

her dad is right in his stand point that you need to take responsibility. i get that you would want to unwind as any guy would but driving after is your decision and no one elses. you put others at risk, not to mention yourself, when you do that. ultimately by blaming others and not yourself you will never learn. I'm sure you are a good person, just some bumps along the way.

but really, you caught her smashing some guy and you are still with this broad? when will people learn
Jan 5 2012 11:16AM
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october
Posts: 324 - Karma: 34
ha, I dont know, its hard when you are in love with a girl, and I guess we were still in some weird grey area, but still felt like cheating, and it still sucked, especially because I never did anything with any other girl during our limbo stage.
But I think I have learned four things by posting this thread.

1. Sometimes in life we experience extreme emotional turmoil. In cases like this it may be hard, and our emotions may have been trigged by the actions of others, but they are still our emotions, and therefore our responsibility ( life is a green run with a healthy relationship, life is a double black with a toxic relationship, just harder to focus and be on point, but a double black we must ski none the less)

2. Her dad is only trying to protect is daughter, but he is still a radical asshole who does not know the whole side of the story and some of his claims are not true and unfair..

3. Love makes a man fucking stupid.

4. Getting cheating on fucking sucks. ( even if its some weird grey area shit)

the end.

wish me luck. I have a life to salvage. Thanks NS.

peace.

Jan 5 2012 2:02PM
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E__
Posts: 5751 - Karma: 4,633
That changes everything then, shoot him.
Jan 5 2012 2:23PM
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october
Posts: 324 - Karma: 34
yeah fuck him, he said I should do the world a favor and shoot myself. great stand up guy, that I want to be around for the rest of my life.
Jan 5 2012 3:02PM
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[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
10/10
Jan 5 2012 3:11PM
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.Frank
Posts: 5 - Karma: 12

You know where he lives. Burn it to the ground.

Jan 5 2012 3:16PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
If you wanted sympathy/everyone to hate the dad, why didn't you post THIS letter? Answer: it probably doesn't exist. You just want us to feel bad for you because you fucked up and your cheating girlfriend's dad told you so.


Jan 5 2012 3:16PM
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marsh.
Posts: 1173 - Karma: 1,403

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no but seriously your life sucks.

Jan 5 2012 3:17PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Dude, you have been acting quite angrily lately, everything okay?
Jan 5 2012 3:18PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Hahaha yeah I'm all good. NS is just pissing me off lately, but I'm stuck at my parents' house, can't ski cause my boots are at the shop while my new skis get mounted, and there's nothing good on tv, so I just keep coming back and getting more frustrated. My bad!

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Jan 5 2012 3:22PM
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Ribss.
Posts: 3442 - Karma: 3,344
Dude what the FUCK. This whole fucking letter could be applied to my life 100% if you change some names. Not one detail is different. I just got a dui because my ex girlfriend made me give her a ride home and then yeah. Her dad is like that and everything in the letter is what people have said to me. That shit seems generic.

Maybe try and do some of those things he said, not because its true but thats something everyone should do more of. +k man.
Jan 5 2012 3:24PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Perfectly understandable. Good to know.
Jan 5 2012 3:25PM
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marsh.
Posts: 1173 - Karma: 1,403

this thread is now about puppies

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Jan 5 2012 3:30PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
No, it's not.
Jan 5 2012 3:32PM
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stoned_sorcerer
Posts: 659 - Karma: 72
If he doesn't know the whole side of the story and is making false claims about you then maybe talk to him face to face and explain if you care about the girl and wanna stay together. It's gonna be much harder when her father doesn't know you well and makes false accusations about you.

Then again you probably shouldn't take relationship advice from NS.
Jan 5 2012 3:44PM
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october
Posts: 324 - Karma: 34
ha, its good to vent,

I dont know its just one of those typical stories of broken hearts, stupid decisions and asshole dads.
Jan 5 2012 4:00PM
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[hamnuts]
Posts: 2356 - Karma: 439
dump the bitch
Jan 5 2012 4:17PM
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802Valley
Posts: 625 - Karma: 309
kinda need both sides of the story cant judge based on one side
Jan 5 2012 4:18PM
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gustafari
Posts: 726 - Karma: 50
Well either yo gurl's dad is the biggest asshole or you've fucked up somehow. Hope for you that it's the first of those 2
Jan 5 2012 4:26PM
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squashmosh
Posts: 632 - Karma: 565

After I got into some similar legal shit that was implicitly related to a fucked up relationship that I was in at the time, I felt completely lost and miserable too, and did a lot of blaming her and other people for what happened to me. It's important to pinpoint the idea that it was something that "happened to me" rather than something that I did.

My situation involved alcohol too, specifically, drinking a ton because I had fucking lost it over a bunch of shit that went down with that girl. Perhaps my situation was way worse because rather than one night of drinking being the problem, I was on a 1 month bender and pretty much alienating everyone that cared about me.

I was miserable and even got kicked out of school although I didn't lose my job. Also a few people did stand by me (including my mom who I was using a lot to help get me out of shit and handle all of the emotional strain).

After everything went down I had this mixed feeling of shame plus hatred for other people, feeling like I was a victim and that I had lost a lot of shit that I worked really hard for. I really wanted to blame everyone else but myself, and especially my ex. I was afraid to go anywhere, do anything because I was just so ashamed and low. I pretty much relied on the few people who still cared for me to help me along, any others I assumed were on "her side" and I just didn't talk to unless they talked to me which would be, in my mind, coming over to my side.

My dad, who I've never had a good relationship with and who I barely talk to actually gave me the best advice. He said "I can see that your in rough shape and that you feel like you've lost everything, and I can tell your ashamed, but you have to know, that I've made tons of mistakes in my life and that, eventually what it comes down to is that, people don't judge you by your mistakes, they judge you by how you move on from them."

In other words, more related to your situation: yes, of course you are human and it hurts to go through shit like that. Of course you made a mistake and you turned to something like alcohol to try to numb the pain (I know I've done/still do this some times). Of course people should have sympathy and realize that what happened was a contextual situation and involved a lot of factors.

Still, when it comes down to what you gotta do NOW, there is no one but you who can pick up the pieces and move on from losing a job, getting a DUI, etc. Sure you can blame everyone else and in some ways, they probably are partially responsible. But they aren't going to fix your life for you and it doesn't sound like they even have your best interest in mind, so blaming them is a just a waste of fucking time and mental energy.

I'm saying this from the perspective of someone who has fucked up with alcohol, the law, school, friends, family, etc. but that moved on and tried to learn to be a better person and take responsibility, so I hope this helps, and understand that I have sympathy for that shit because I've been there brother.

Soldier on.

Jan 5 2012 5:01PM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
Well then...
Jan 5 2012 5:03PM
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Cthulhu
Posts: 528 - Karma: 21
i don't know your side of the story but from everything i just read he is entirely correct. he's a grown ass man and you're still a little boy.
Jan 5 2012 6:34PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
READ THE THREAD YOU LAZY SONOVA.... anyway, his "story" is on the 2nd page.
Jan 5 2012 6:35PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
sounds like a reasonable letter.

and anyone who gets a DUI is a moron.   no question
Jan 5 2012 6:51PM
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TheDude
Posts: 2058 - Karma: 117
i lost. sounds like a redneck problem, dump that bitch, kill her dad and then pop some arsnic
Jan 5 2012 6:58PM
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EricaMN.
Posts: 2704 - Karma: 346
on a side note, holy fuck! two posts, not just one but two posts inside a dub post!
Jan 5 2012 7:01PM
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collinder
Posts: 738 - Karma: 34
yo i think you should dump her.
Jan 5 2012 7:02PM
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inactive
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 97
buy a gun
Jan 5 2012 7:05PM
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DidrikSterud
Posts: 225 - Karma: 52
i did not read all the comments but i hope you kicked that guys ass
Jan 5 2012 7:05PM
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FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
this.


my ex'es dad loved me! haha he called me and said sorry when she broke up with me and that we can still hangout and be freinds lol
Jan 5 2012 7:36PM
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FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
nice, well i bet her daddy didnt know she was a little slut
Jan 5 2012 7:37PM
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thebeesknees
Posts: 3660 - Karma: 160
After reading all of this thread, its really evident what the general consensus from NS. You need to start fresh and kick the bitch to the curb
Jan 5 2012 7:41PM
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butter.cup
Posts: 14 - Karma: 10
Next time your girl pisses you off - instead of going to the bar to drink your problems away, go to the terrain park and pull a couple k-feds and mctwistys. You'll feel way better!
Jan 5 2012 7:46PM
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AbeFroman
Posts: 1268 - Karma: -4
Given the evidence put forth i have concluded that you are a tool.
Jan 5 2012 7:47PM
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bfulmer
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 1,975
okay based on what he had to say it actually sounds like this is legit. like if you got fired from every job youve ever had, got a dui and blamed it on your girl, and then disrespected her father, you deserve every word of that.
Jan 5 2012 7:57PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15949 - Karma: 9,429
I can totally understand the DUI part.
Jan 5 2012 8:03PM
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october
Posts: 324 - Karma: 34
Well the hardest part is like trying to focus and get my shit together from the emotional strain that she put me through, and this letter in no way helps, it just makes me more upset. How am i supposed to ever have dinner with this dude again. I dont use people, that is such crap, nor have I got fired from every job. Yeah I put the blame on me. I got shitty at life when I got cheated on and did something stupid, I feel like I still have a right to be pissed off though.
Jan 5 2012 8:08PM
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120494435941
Posts: 0 - Karma: 37
in the end your fucking his daughter, if thats not winning then i dont know what is. also we need pics of her (dr posts)
Jan 5 2012 8:13PM
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JIBpsy^^
Posts: 2851 - Karma: 36
can totally understand your situation. In reality 90 percent of the people in this thread who drink would have acted the same way with probably 75 percent driving home. from my understanding you were not plastered just over the limit if you got pulled over for a taillight and not swerving. You can probably blame the DUI partly on bad luck but blame rests on you as well. Not nearly as much as NS likes to give you. (come on guys if you were like .1 are you gonna call a cab and blow another 20 30 bucks to get home especially if you are an emotional wreck?) That is one hell of a bad luck streak my man and that letter tops it off. Shit will blow over though. pick up jogging or hiking or biking or something. If you can get out in nature and exercise it purges all the stress and pent up bad emotion plus its much better for you than drinking
Jan 5 2012 8:38PM
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cobra_commander
Posts: 16909 - Karma: 4,682
From reading your posts, I am gonna say that this man did you a favor by righting that. It was some of the best most forward advice out there. Yes, it wash harsh and too the point. Life is also often harsh and to the point. Have some thick skin, and absorb the value and lessons in his letter, there is a lot packed into it.

Now, you are probably gonna bitch about this post, and how a bunch of the stuff he wrote does not apply to you, and that the girl fucked stuff up as well, and he is not perfect etc etc. That is both beside the point and everything in the point. Don't worry so much about the faults of others, and concentrate on owning up to the times that you let others, and yourself down. Do not let excuses into the picture. They have no business in a man's world. A man has one, and only one answer and mentality when he gets in a situation like you did.
"I screwed up, I let you down, I let myself down, and I let your daughter down. There is no excuse for my actions, and I will never let it happen again"
Then act on it!

We all make mistakes, and most of those come with consequences, often heavy ones. It is what we do with ourselves afterwards, that defines who we are.

Don't make another post on the subject. Just print out the father's letter, and put it some where that you will read it every day. Don't share it with others. But act on it, and force yourself to take the right path from here on out.

A thick skin, and some humility go a long way to defining one's character.

P.S.
I was not really sure where this part, but I feel you should read it. so do so, and then re read the last three paragraphs of the main body; for emphasis.

It sounds like this girl got inside your head, whether intentionally or not, and fucked with it. Unfortunately, this is what girls do; they are programed to do it. Don't blame them for it, because 90% of them are too damn dumb to realize they are doing it. I'm not a psychiatrist, but it does not look like either of you are healthy for the other one. What you do with her from here on out is up to you, but consider where the two of you's history has gotten each other. The right choice can be really hard some times, that is usually how you know it is the right choice.
Jan 5 2012 8:46PM
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october
Posts: 324 - Karma: 34
yes to this!
Jan 5 2012 9:01PM
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october
Posts: 324 - Karma: 34
also the other job I quit, because i was doing landscaping and saving up to take her to belize with me, but then she left me for this dude she met at work.
Jan 5 2012 9:02PM
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*DELETED*
Posts: 1043 - Karma: 938
slit the bitches throat.
Jan 5 2012 9:15PM
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Cannaburner
Posts: 1007 - Karma: 785
I'm only going through a break up right now dude but i feel your pain.I know how fucking hard it is. Definitely dump the cunt if she was fucking another guy. This father shouldn't be talking about respect because his fucking daughter doesn't have any respect for you or herself, some fucking father he is. fuck the bitches, go skiing.
Jan 5 2012 9:18PM
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