Little Suzie is in her backyard filling a big hole with dirt, occasionally smacking it with her shovel. Her curious neighbour peers over the fince. 'What are you doing little Suzie?'he asks.
'Im...Im burrying my goldfish',she replies tearfully
'Oh sorry,'he says,'but isn't that hole awfully big for a goldfish?'
Suzie pats down the last heap of earth and says 'Thats because he's inside your fucking cat!'
Q:What do a Christmas tree and the Pope have in common?
This pirate has a a steering wheel in his pants, and he walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hey, pirate, you have a steering wheel in your pants!' The pirate says, 'Arrrr, I know matey, 'tis driving me nuts!'
Emily Bennett is a Lizard King-loving Sex Goddess!
'Have you been borne yet & are you alive?
Let's reinvent the gods, all the myths of the ages.'
- Jim Morrison, 'An American Prayer'
whats the difference between acne and the priests?
ance doesn't cum on boys faces until they are 12
'whats this called?' :place person in half nelson:
they answer-half nelson
whats this called ::full nelson::
they say full nelson
whats this called-put knee in ass
they say i dont know
you say-'father nelson'
I promised my mom I would not drop out of high school for skiing. I'm not even in high school yet.