i've tried so many, it won't let you embed any of these! dammit this is the best thread idea too
"Why are girls pretty? Why do kids start at different reading levels? Why does it burn when I piss? Why do I get completely naked every time I shit? Why do i steal my brothers fleshlight on Thursdays? there are just some questions you don't ask."
"when Mr.Bishop says get your meme on, you get your goddamn meme on"
The entire Merv Griffin episode. Kramer sets up the Merv Griffin talkshow in his apartment, Jerry drugs the lady he is dating to play with her vintage toys, George keeps hitting pigeons and then a squirrel, and Elaine deals with the sidler. Fucking classic
I grew up in a magical land of platinum blondes, dildos, and chrome plated cocks, wtf kind of environment did you grow up in? - TechnoPotamus
"My motto has always been pussy is pussy but that ain't pussy" - ThelastMelon
[9:31]Gator - whoever does that party rockers song. it's like shitty autotuned chorus then fast talking and then an incredibly terrible and simple techno beat that makes 14 year old girls' vaginas drip
1. Kramer (how could anyone in their right mind choose anyone over Kramer)
2. George+Elaine (Its a tie, both hilarious
7.Seinfeld. Guy just annoys me. He's so smug and it always looks like hes holding back a smile
"And we all know that Lady Gaga is part of the Illuminati!"
I really like the one when Jerry has the new girlfriend and her dad is the chef at the restaurant, Jerry meets him in the bathroom and he doesn't wash his hands, Jerry is creeped out by that and won't eat, the facial expressions he makes are priceless
"Used to tell me the sky's the limit, now the sky is our point of view." -Big Sean
I love the episode where George eats the eclair out of the garbage hahahaha.... or the one where Kramer starts heating his clothes up in the pizza oven and then tries to pay for George's calzones with a ton of coins, such a good scene.
"Start with meth. Marijuana was so last year. Don't you want your friends to really think you're cool?"
"The only taco bell runs I've had are coming out of my ass"
"Keep your hockey bullshit out of this debate, this is America we don't need your canadian maple syrup bullshit"