Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

All about Jon Olsson

profile picture
nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
If he had performed in the movie "300", the film would have been called "1".
Apr 25 2011 7:09PM
0 0
profile picture
d_bval
Posts: 11 - Karma: 18
Love does not hurt. Jon Olsson does.
Apr 27 2011 4:40PM
0 0
profile picture
thesheik
Posts: 1488 - Karma: 18
he punched us all in the face and slept with all of our wives


AND WE LOVED HIM FOR IT
Apr 27 2011 4:47PM
0 0
profile picture
dunkaroos
Posts: 2574 - Karma: 633
Nothing can escape black holes.

except Jon Olsson
Apr 27 2011 5:02PM
0 0
profile picture
dunkaroos
Posts: 2574 - Karma: 633
Jon once got in a staring contest with himself in front of a mirror. He won.
Apr 27 2011 5:02PM
0 0
profile picture
Ski_Unit_19
Posts: 8188 - Karma: 38
jon olsson once made a porno with my wife. it was the most beautiful thing i ever saw
Apr 27 2011 5:22PM
0 0
profile picture
Anorak
Posts: 281 - Karma: 13
He shoots vodka into his neck using a syringe.
Apr 27 2011 5:52PM
0 0
profile picture
BieberHole69
Posts: 1374 - Karma: 2,714
Jon Olsson has only been wrong once in his life: when he thought he was wrong
Apr 27 2011 5:55PM
0 0
profile picture
McFellon
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 2,005
When Head asked Jon what he wanted the top sheets of his 2008 pro models to be, he wanted to share what he had with everyone else. That is to say two naked women underneath him.
Apr 27 2011 6:51PM
0 0
profile picture
crunkiest
Posts: 369 - Karma: 21

hahahahaha great thread

i hope he has an account and sees this!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apr 27 2011 7:13PM
0 0
profile picture
E.C.
Posts: 3211 - Karma: 319
jon olsson is newschoolers.
Apr 27 2011 7:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Nadia.
Posts: 1124 - Karma: 1,104
This thread is all kinds of win.
Apr 27 2011 7:40PM
0 0
profile picture
nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
Black holes are unable to escape Jon Olsson
Apr 27 2011 7:41PM
0 0
profile picture
*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15078 - Karma: 9,132
Nope, they didn't show the footy because of tanner's crash.
Apr 27 2011 7:56PM
0 0
profile picture
schmuck
Posts: 1974 - Karma: 53,159
Best. Thread. Ever! hahaha







Apr 27 2011 8:07PM
0 0
profile picture
tuna.
Posts: 2627 - Karma: 111
drugs do jon olsson to look cool.
Apr 27 2011 8:12PM
0 0
profile picture
Get.Kronk
Posts: 2543 - Karma: 226
A day in the life of Jon Olsson: Click for larger image
Apr 27 2011 8:13PM
0 0
profile picture
cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,851
Click for larger image
Apr 27 2011 8:24PM
0 0
profile picture
jmason
Posts: 1595 - Karma: 136
Jon Olsson can slam a revolving door
Apr 27 2011 9:28PM
0 0
profile picture
Crehm
Posts: 951 - Karma: 842
Ahmet called John Olssen gay........John didnt care
Apr 27 2011 9:47PM
0 0
profile picture
Profpimpcain
Posts: 395 - Karma: 62
Truckee California once named a street after Jon Olsson because of his accomplishments within the ski industry. They quickly changed the name of the street because people kept dying when they crossed it.
No one crosses Jon Olsson and lives.
Apr 27 2011 9:47PM
0 0
profile picture
TOAST.
Posts: 7264 - Karma: 33,270
People only get one chance to say his name wrong because after that they are dead.
Apr 27 2011 10:02PM
0 0
profile picture
dbchili
Posts: 2555 - Karma: 1,657
When jon olsson got his offer to ski for head, he asked why he should have to ski to get something he already gets for free

jon olsson's girlfriend once told him she was wet. Three days later the police found her body wrung like a towel


Apr 27 2011 10:13PM
0 0
profile picture
e.wait
Posts: 869 - Karma: 1,954
Ski patrol didn't blow up Chad's gap, Jon did when he stomped a quadruple screamin' semen on it. Switch. In a pink G-suit. After MFM salted the landing.
Apr 27 2011 10:29PM
0 0
profile picture
dunkaroos
Posts: 2574 - Karma: 633
Jon Olsson once tried to join the military. However, there are rules against weapons of mass destruction.
Apr 27 2011 10:38PM
0 0
profile picture
POWDER.RANGER
Posts: 1698 - Karma: -24
nothing can escape black holes, but black holes cant escape jon olsson
Apr 27 2011 11:22PM
0 0
profile picture
POWDER.RANGER
Posts: 1698 - Karma: -24
dammmit i shoulda read the rest of the thread
Apr 27 2011 11:26PM
0 0
profile picture
ckskier
Posts: 109 - Karma: 30
Its been said that Gene Simmons has slept with over 3000 women in his lifetime. Thats just a lazy tuesday for Jon Olsson.
Apr 27 2011 11:42PM
0 0
profile picture
seabass.
Posts: 155 - Karma: 11
jon olsson doesn't ski on snow he is the snow
Apr 27 2011 11:52PM
0 0
profile picture
Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
start running. now.
Apr 28 2011 12:07AM
0 0
profile picture
EaStCoAsT14
Posts: 16 - Karma: 10
I got two:

When Ski Patrol gets injured, they call Jon Olsson

The Dos Equis man doesn't usually ski, but when he does, he prefers the Jon Olsson Super Sessions
Apr 28 2011 12:12AM
0 0
profile picture
thatsG
Posts: 2554 - Karma: 1,780
His tricks are inhumane, so he names them animals instead
Apr 28 2011 12:48AM
0 0
profile picture
thatsG
Posts: 2554 - Karma: 1,780
Jon Olsson's tricks are inhumane, so he names them animals instead
Apr 28 2011 12:49AM
0 0
profile picture
thatsG
Posts: 2554 - Karma: 1,780
People ski naked off the JOI jump, just to meet Jon Olsson
Apr 28 2011 1:03AM
0 0
profile picture
seabass.
Posts: 155 - Karma: 11
on April fools Jon Olson fools April
Apr 28 2011 1:09AM
0 0
profile picture
Silence
Posts: 16030 - Karma: 149
hahah gold

love this thread!
Apr 28 2011 1:55AM
0 0
profile picture
Kopacz
Posts: 295 - Karma: 67
Jon Olsson failed to get a role in Harry Potter as they realized all would be over in the first 15 minutes.
Apr 28 2011 3:09AM
0 0
profile picture
Kopacz
Posts: 295 - Karma: 67
all compasses point towards Jon Olsson.
Apr 28 2011 3:10AM
0 0
profile picture
Holte
Posts: 10730 - Karma: 7,744
When Jon Olsson hits a jump, he doesn't get air. Air gets Jon Olsson.
Apr 28 2011 3:47AM
0 0
profile picture
Newschool_Pope
Posts: 2473 - Karma: 267
jon olsson doesnt take drugs, drugs take jon olsson.
Apr 28 2011 3:51AM
0 0
profile picture
flatspinner
Posts: 2701 - Karma: 536
Jon Olsson once punched a magician.



Apr 28 2011 4:01AM
0 0
profile picture
.Roockley.
Posts: 3857 - Karma: 4,000
Jon Olsson has counted to infinity...twice
Apr 28 2011 4:04AM
0 0
profile picture
RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
Didnt Jon actually hit Chads gap switch in a pink jacket?
Apr 28 2011 5:10AM
0 0
profile picture
luc
Posts: 1000 - Karma: 607
the univers is not expanding, it's running away from jon olsson!
Apr 28 2011 5:16AM
0 0
profile picture
TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
yes he did. i've seen the video on youtube and i searched so hard for it but i can't find it. He does a switch misty in the video and a switch 180 i think. fuck, can't find it.




Jon walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.


Jon can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.


Jon can make a woman climax by simply pointing at them and saying "bang".


The cuban missile crisis was just a name for the night Jon got blackout drunk and masturbated in public.


The final countdown was in fact not performed by the band Europe, it was simply Jon Olsson playing multiple instruments at once during an LSD trip.
Apr 28 2011 9:58AM
0 0
profile picture
TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
Jon Olsson was stabbed by a mugger in a back alley. The knife bled to death.
Apr 28 2011 12:43PM
0 0
profile picture
RubberSoul
Posts: 11249 - Karma: 14,642
yeah i know, but the footage did appear (maybe from Head? i forget)

and yeah rowen he was rocking some pink (i mean, it was TBC year). i might be able to find that video again idk. maybe it's in mythreads on my old name
Apr 28 2011 12:46PM
0 0
profile picture
E.C.
Posts: 3211 - Karma: 319
jon olsson's sneeze is the cause for 2012.
Apr 28 2011 12:50PM
0 0
profile picture
RubberSoul
Posts: 11249 - Karma: 14,642
okay here's a shitty video, there must be a better version around. there's also a similarly bad version in the video section somewhere

http://www.zapiks.com/1161799511-2.html

and then here's a picture of him hitting it, photoshopped to show half what it looks like in winter, and half what it looks like in summer (gnarly)
Click for larger image
Apr 28 2011 12:54PM
0 0
profile picture
AGOF
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 3,602
he grabbed tail on the? what the fuck, thats so ill
looks like he stomped it too
Apr 28 2011 12:58PM
0 0
profile picture
Profpimpcain
Posts: 395 - Karma: 62
Fantastic!
Apr 28 2011 1:01PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)