Was at my friends house when I was little. Had slept over and was eating a massive bowl of fruit loops at their kitchen table and their mom was sitting across from me. Was playing with those rubber poppers. Popped it inside out and dropped it in my cereal. It popped back out and the bowl of fruit loops EXPLODED all over my friends mom and their entire kitchen.
Okay true story, one time me and a bunch of my teammates were playing some basketball at a park near our college, and one of the kids on the opposite team was shooting a foul shot. I tried to distract him by farting as loudly as I could. I pushed really hard...and it was a mistake. I full on shit my pants. Not just a shart, but shit pants. I also had borrowed my friends basketball shorts that day...he said I could keep them. WIN.
But anyways, that's not the real accident. I proceeded to walk very slowly over to a bush, take off my underwear and thrown them. And then I walked a block or two back to their house to finish the job. After I was done shitting I started to wipe...but it was everywhere so I gave up on that and hopped in their shower.
I used one of those shower loofahs or whatever they're called to wipe up my ass and legs, and after a lot of work I got out and I was on my way. I headed home, only to realize a few days later that I didn't throw out the loofah. So somebody had been washing with the loofah that I used to wipe up my shitty ass and legs. Oops!
in kindergarden we were doing a play, it was called squirrels and acorns. i was a tree and this girl was the squirrel. she was kneeling under me acting like a squirrel and i started to feel really sick so i projectile vomited all over her by accident. bitch shouldn't have been stealing my fuckin acorns na mean?
one time my friend was skating and he popped a kickflip but when he jumped he shit himself so he ran into the exxon bathroom and washed his ass out in the sink and then threw his boxers into someone's yard.
oh oh oh wait i got one more for ya.... i was sitting at the computer with my dad helping him with some stuff and i tried to squeeze out a fart but some shit came out too and my dad was like "you ok?" and i'm like "yeah" ensued by an awkward silence. i then proceeded to sit at the computer with my paps with poopy pants for over an hour and he didn't even know it!!! shit was off the chain!!!!!
Alright, i was at this low key party, kinda just a hang out. So my ride said its time to go, myself and 3 other guys go out to the car but we see this kid's Ranger, us being drunk we think it would be funny to fuck with it. He had 2 tow straps in the back, we take one and hook it to a trailer. The other tow strap we hook to this fancy custom wooden stair railing that leads to a loft above the garage. We think "oh he won't drive away, if he does hes an idiot." Again idk why we did this, it was just one of those funny dumb moments.
Well my buddy and I get invited back like a week later to go jet ski and stuff. We're driving up the driveway and we see the trailer is totally out of place, the railing look like a bomb hit it. Supports everywhere, it was a wreck. Id say 300 dollar damage. My buddy and i were like "oh. Shit." We never talked about it after that. And the tow straps were still there.
In like 1st grade, chillin in the computer lab, playin some Oregon Trail. Had to pee hella bad, but the teacher wasn't around, so I couldn't ask if I could go (good little student). Ended up pissing myself mid-class in those kinda concave plastic chairs, so it pooled up pretty good. Pushed the chair under the desk and walked straight to the nurses office where I got them to call my Mom and tell her I was sick. Somehow managed to blame it all on this other kid in the class, and people made fun of him for our entire elementary years.
i figure i'll tell my story of how i flooded my laundry room
so i had a pretty nasty stain in one of my shirts so i was going to go get some oxyclean or something to get the stain out. so i proceeded to fill up the sink that we have in our laundry room. Which doesn't have an overfill drain. I went into the other room while it was still filling up, long story short i fell asleep and forgot about it. Woke up, saw like an inch of water all over the floor and i had no idea what to do so pushed out all the water and got a bunch of fans and cleaned it up. Luckily it didn't do anything to the floor so it was all good.
Sparknotes: flooded laundry room, cleaned it up, nothing bad happen.
So around the start of december in grade 3, i got the flu pretty bad. throwup and all that other good stuff. so i think im feeling better a week later and go to school. went pretty well, practised for the christmas concert that was gonna happen that night.
So that night, during the last song of the concert where every grade from 1 to 5 was singing, i started to feel sick. i quietly asked if i could go to the washroom but the teacher said no. then everyone started singing. i was doomed. first verse, i throw up alot in my mouth. i swallowed it though so i thought i was in the clear. oh was i wrong. i threw up with the pressure of a firehose onto the chick under me (iwas on the stage). she was covered head to toe in vomit. concert stops, i go to the washroom and get cleaned up, come outside and there she is. i apologized and she said its cool but i never talked to her again...
once me and my friend were walking thru some woods by our house, we were like just exploring/ crossing the creek on logs, just messing around, so i started not feeling good and had to go pretty badly. and im like well, i dont live far away so ill just hold it, so we are waking our way back thru the woods to our bikes wich we left in a field under the powerlines. and we almost got there and had to cross one more log across the creek to get to the powerlines. this was the worst/hardest log to cross because its thin and theres nothin to hold on to, no rope or branches. so im in the middle of the log and my friends already on the other side. then all the sudden! i went, just a bit, but it startled me enough that i lose balance and fall into the creek. and the creek is about 40deg. it was about 40-45 deg outside. and i fall in and start swimming, take off my jacket, then ride the current to an area where i can stand then i climb out of the freezing creek and freeze my ass off and bike home a half mile. the only positive was i took a shit and it basicly got washed out in the creek, there was no evidence! to this day my friend doesnt know what actually caused me to lose my balace on that log! this was 3-4 yrs ago
when popping on skis to get more air off a jump, do you just jump?-Armadaskier1928
Sammy may do a switch triple cork misty -- x games announcer
one of my friends told me this story about this woman he knows who's house got broken into a few years ago.
She came home from being out of town for a few weeks, and she found her front door all messed up. She went inside and a bunch of stuff was missing. Her laptop, the tv, printer, dvd player, a lot of dvds, jewlery and so on. The only thing of any real value was her camera.
She called the police and after a while she got her insurance to cover most of it.
Then, about a month later, she went to get her photos from the camera. It was one of those old ones with real film in them. She dropped the film off and did some shopping, and then came back a few hours later to get her pictures. Then she drove home, sat down and looked through them.
In the middle of all the pictures she found a picture of a mans ass hole with a tooth brush showed half-way in. Her own tooth brush. The tooth brush she had used to brush her teeth with for the last month.
She then understood why the thief didn't steal her camera.
i shit in a wave pool once. kids dont give a fuck. they need to shit and are having too much fun playing so they just squat and let'r rip..how much would it suck, though, if you were swimming underwater and resurfaced for air only to have a log of human dung smack you in the mouth..
when i was in kindergarten i shat my pants. ended up that when i stood up, it rolled out of my pants to the floor. i left it. another time the same thing happened but i held it in my hand through the pocket and dropped it in the bathroom.
I went to a catholic school when I was younger, And in like grade 7 they were doing the stupid prayer over the announcement. I had told the teacher i wasnt feeling well but she wouldnt let me leave until after the announcements. I just started projectile vomiting all over my desk, she brought a garbage can beside me and sat beside me. I tried to puke in the can but went in her lap instead. Like straight up covered her in puke ahahaha