i've been skiing on the slopes since i was fucking 4 years old, man, literally an infant child, still having massive diarrhea in my jean claude van dam themed diapers!
after the birth of my first child, chisel jam, i continued to ski until i was 7, got bored, soared, snored, and won my first world championship at age age!
the birth of my twins, rosco, was the epitomy of my life! i won a world title and five more championships before called it quits forever! i then repeated my skiing career five times.
i've never before so rapidly disregarded my senses! i landed my first sevent-wenty when i was in the thurd grade at the age of 30. me and charles gainer decided to have ourselves a backyard rail sesh. it was all set off; he had a flat down up up and a twenty yard regardless rail. it was on. he set it off straight with a double wet nap sand grind as i infiltrated his very snack cabinet! many a klondyke bar where scorn!
it was then i realized i wanted so massively to turn professional! i practiced diligently! four grabs a month was my limited, no more than three hundred and 80 degrees. i won. i won hard.
seven x-games later i was a fraud. literally a pancake.