Hey! Logan Imlach here. I just wanted to give all of you kids out there some hints as to what I think it will take to win the 2011 Superunkown contest. I should give a disclaimer that this list will not guarantee you the crown, nor even that Josh, Freedle, or Kyle will like your edit. That being said, here it goes:
Tight Pants: This shit is the new hotness. Level 1 Productions is currently without any rider that prefers their trousers on the snug side, so steal your moms sowing machine and cozy those pants up around your crotchal region.
Film only in the park: That jackass that they picked last year showed up at a park shoot and got skunked, so they will for sure be looking for someone who slays big park jumps. The Superunkown is cyclical, so sorry kids who don’t ride park, it’ll be another 7 years. Next year the winner will be a Canadian park rat, so if you aren’t Canadian, try to be more Canadian.
No Dub-Step: Your song is key, and even though a number of ski movies utilized (and maybe abused) Glitch Mob and Dub Step, you gotta be better. I don’t care if it’s the only thing on your playlist, go another direction.
No Mute Grabs: They’re the new safety, and safeties are the new mute grab. Crossing your skis and grabbing near the nose is getting incredibly mundane, so grab safety (it looks better), or start playing with some new grabs.
Study snowboarding movies: Its no big secret in this industry that we are a little behind snowboarders (its okay, they copy skateboarders), so start watching snowboard movies and trying out some shit that they do. That way you’ll be a little ahead of the other entrants.
Be a troll: Making dumbass controversial threads on Newschoolers is probably the best way to get your name out there. There’s nothing people love more than someone to hate, so by-gum, be that guy.
Social Media: Add all of the pro skiers you have ever heard of on Facebook (after you’ve made sure that they’re mutual friends with the Level 1 staff) then plaster shit all over their walls at all times. That way, subconsciously the fellas at L1P will already know who you are. Don’t worry, they probably won’t get annoyed.
Ski ballet: Its been a while since we’ve seen it, so do that into your park features…. shit’s tight. Google Fabrice Becker, dude was on a new level.
Lol'd at how he talks about glitch mob and dubstep, take that pbp ahahah