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HELP...Burned my girlfriends cooch

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CoonKiller
Posts: 677 - Karma: 86
OK so my parents went out with family friends,and they'll be home within an hour

heres what happened i volunteer on my cousin softball team(im 17 the girls are15)

and i met this girl named allison,were going out for awhile.and we have alot in common, sometimes i help her with her homework.I helped her write an english essay and she still got a c because her teacher is a prick but anyway....She came over like an hour ago,and i really wanted to lose my virginity so i ask her to have sex.

"no i cant its not right"she said but i told her" dont worry i know what im doing,ill be done in like 10 seconds,plus ill give you two n64 games if you say yes."

So i gave her diddy kong racing and ken griffey jr baseball,and then she goes to my room,shes a bit confused and scared.

Then i think to myself-yo i need lube right?I heard you need to lube up her clit or else it wont fit properly.

Ok so i have no lube,but i really want to lose my virginity-so i grab some butter from the fridge,but its cold,it wont melt-so i microwaved it for 8 minutes,and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter,now shes saying i burned it.

I dont know what todo,my parents will be bcak soon and shes inthe bathroom crying..please help me.

Any idea on how i can shut her up?Should i give her another n64 game?
Nov 1 2010 4:19PM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18212 - Karma: 12,256
holy shit! Hahahah.. for realz?
Nov 1 2010 4:20PM
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uosdwiSrjewoH
Posts: 4220 - Karma: 121
i'm calling troll
Nov 1 2010 4:21PM
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esquio316
Posts: 246 - Karma: 10
repost of a repost of a repost of an old ass motherfucking story. fail
Nov 1 2010 4:21PM
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MCIRONCOCK
Posts: 3094 - Karma: 30
Are narwals real?
Nov 1 2010 4:21PM
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Nathn
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 63
LOL THIS IS BELIEVABLE
Nov 1 2010 4:21PM
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beowulf
Posts: 893 - Karma: 164
most epic fail at trolling right here folks
Nov 1 2010 4:22PM
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mattster
Posts: 4120 - Karma: 41
Ken griffey jr baseball was the shit! i dont know what she's complaining about.
Nov 1 2010 4:22PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
I think this pasta is at least two years old.
Nov 1 2010 4:22PM
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Pisces
Posts: 905 - Karma: 13
this is not original content. move along now children
Nov 1 2010 4:22PM
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McFellon
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 2,005
first of all, with the age difference it might be illegal
second, that is a hell of a lot like prostitution
third, butter? really
Nov 1 2010 4:22PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
it's some delicious copy pasta though
Nov 1 2010 4:24PM
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Logey.
Posts: 2996 - Karma: 457
hahahahaha i laughed my ass off, 8 minutes got me
Nov 1 2010 4:24PM
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McFellon
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 2,005
when i posted it said that there were no posts yet
i'm glad that this is bs, i had a hunch, but just in case i thought i'd set this guy strait
Nov 1 2010 4:25PM
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CoonKiller
Posts: 677 - Karma: 86
she did'nt want quake or rampage so i was forced to give her it
Nov 1 2010 4:26PM
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Elg
Posts: 2998 - Karma: 3,880
i knew this was a troll thread before i clicked it, but fuck that was hilarious!
Nov 1 2010 4:26PM
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nolan.
Posts: 909 - Karma: 59

so i'm confused why you titled this thread "help...burned my girlfriends cooch", when i'm pretty sure that you meant to type in "I copy and paste from other sites even though I am reposting a repost."

that is all. good day.

Nov 1 2010 4:28PM
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gus555
Posts: 4170 - Karma: 34
give her mario cart racing, she'll shut the fuck up
Nov 1 2010 4:29PM
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Milksteak
Posts: 9948 - Karma: 842
...............................................wow
Nov 1 2010 4:29PM
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CoonKiller
Posts: 677 - Karma: 86
i read it and had to post it i laughed my ass off for 2 minutes straight
Nov 1 2010 4:29PM
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Ski_the_east01
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 2,304
coonkiller is probably kangbangs alias
Nov 1 2010 4:31PM
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mattster
Posts: 4120 - Karma: 41
hah, 23 replies in under 10 minutes... its working...
Nov 1 2010 4:31PM
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matt.s
Posts: 2502 - Karma: 93
why the fuck would you heat up butter for 8 minutes.

i do believe we have a retard on our hands... plus what kind of decent girls accept sex for video games?
Nov 1 2010 4:31PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Haha
Nov 1 2010 4:34PM
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Travapple.
Posts: 6787 - Karma: 88
I'm too aroused to help you out.......
Nov 1 2010 4:34PM
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Whale
Posts: 226 - Karma: 16
Well not all of us are crotchety old fucks either....
Nov 1 2010 4:35PM
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dispatchQ_main
Posts: 2619 - Karma: 629
prostitution is legal.
Nov 1 2010 4:38PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,168
That was a silly story
Nov 1 2010 4:40PM
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little1337
Posts: 8158 - Karma: 45,756
1st page
Nov 1 2010 4:45PM
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BMskier
Posts: 3363 - Karma: 365
.
Nov 1 2010 4:47PM
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J..H
Posts: 646 - Karma: 73
1st page claim
Nov 1 2010 4:48PM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
Butter becomes hard and waxlike after it gets melted and sits out.
Nov 1 2010 4:54PM
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brandon_
Posts: 807 - Karma: 15
Does somebody have experience in this?
Nov 1 2010 4:56PM
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snowking249
Posts: 1452 - Karma: 34
I can not even begin to explain the visual i just got.
Nov 1 2010 4:57PM
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CoonKiller
Posts: 677 - Karma: 86
he should have made cake or rice krispie treats with it
Nov 1 2010 4:58PM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
No, but I make my mom popcorn a lot, and have to melt down butter. Awkward..
Nov 1 2010 4:58PM
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ROOS.
Posts: 1992 - Karma: 39
rampage is a sick game, i think i know what im about to do
Nov 1 2010 5:01PM
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futbol
Posts: 319 - Karma: 10
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Nov 1 2010 5:03PM
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FUUUCK
Posts: 18426 - Karma: 4,888
REPOST IS A REPOST
Nov 1 2010 5:05PM
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SSteezle
Posts: 9221 - Karma: 9,939
hahahaha laughed my ass off so hard, don't even care if it's a repost
Nov 1 2010 5:10PM
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LMPJibbin
Posts: 1607 - Karma: 17
troll fail
Nov 1 2010 5:17PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51249 - Karma: 157,141
^
Nov 1 2010 5:18PM
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Mezmerize19
Posts: 6475 - Karma: 18
Heard this before. Nothing new.
Nov 1 2010 5:20PM
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StevenR
Posts: 1372 - Karma: 33
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!














































not.
Nov 1 2010 5:20PM
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.coloRADo.
Posts: 234 - Karma: 39
yes! They are the best animal and completely real
Nov 1 2010 6:06PM
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dex.
Posts: 2973 - Karma: 62
i drew this for you. its me and a narwal

Click for larger image
Nov 1 2010 6:07PM
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ferrariowner123
Posts: 1623 - Karma: 28
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Nov 1 2010 6:08PM
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.coloRADo.
Posts: 234 - Karma: 39
Oh I love dat. Can you add me in there waving at you while I'm atop of a rainbow or something too plz?
Nov 1 2010 6:10PM
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steezeeepolizeee
Posts: 8756 - Karma: 796
there wouldn't be any butter left after 8min in the mircro wave although this is a copy pasta
Nov 1 2010 6:10PM
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dex.
Posts: 2973 - Karma: 62
wow thats the last time i do something nice for someone...
Nov 1 2010 6:11PM
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.coloRADo.
Posts: 234 - Karma: 39
I don't understand, I was serious...
Nov 1 2010 6:12PM
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