Q: Why did God make women?
A: You think he's gonna wash the dishes? Aw HAYELL Naw!
Q: How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?
A: When the old one expects you to "do your share"
Q: What do you call a woman with pigtails?
A: A ******* with handlebars!
Q: How long does it take for a man to make dinner?
A: As long as it takes for him to get out the belt!
You think men have it easy? You're dead wrong, they have to work up a sweat to keep taking out the belt and putting it back in again.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Trick question, feminists can't change anything!
Q:Why does every man need a woman?
A:Because the dishes would get to piled up without one.
Question: What is the difference between a woman and a catfish?
Answer: One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
A jogger is running along one morning when he hears crying. He slows down and sees an armless, legless woman sitting at a table bawling. Heart heavy, he walks over and asks her what the problem is. Sniffling, she says, "I've never been hugged before.." The jogger leans over, hugs her, and smiles as he takes off. The next day the cripple is still there, crying again. The jogger slows down and asks her what the matter is this time. She leans over and wipes her snotty nose on the table and says, "I've never been kissed before.." The man leans over and lays a wet one on her cheek. He jogs off, waving bye to her smiling face. The next day, he jogs up and shes crying her eyes out yet again. The jogger runs over and asks her "what now?" The bleary-eyed woman looks up and says, "I've never been OWNED before.." The man bends over, picks her up, and chucks her into a pool and calls, "Now you're OWNED!"
Why don't women talk to men every time they're in public?
You're not supposed to tell the answer to people who experience this, dumb ass! Don't you see them with boyfriends everywhere?
Why do women not offer sex all the time?
Because there's no pay involved.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because not only do most women oppose minorities reproducing, but the government does as well. Illegal immigrant, "official customers".
How do you know women are racist?
Because there are still people who have been in Africa their whole life, called African Americans.
Why don't women talk to other customers at restaurants?
Because men aren't women, dumb ass, they ugly pieces of ****.
Why do Men like to see lesbians make Out?
A: Because then they will leave us alone and we can order Pizza!
Why does a man like to see two women kiss each other?
Two less mouths that are bitching.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
-Nothing, you already told her twice.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead just bought bought a car. Which one drives it first?
None, they're all in the kitchen.
Whats does your wife and a condom have in common?
They both spend 99% of their time in your wallet
Why did God make woman last?
He didn't want someone telling him what to do.
Why do women get married in white?
So they match the kitchen appliances!
Edit: So they can get a new dress for the funeral.