"Grandpa" Storys

my grandfather once slew a dragon in the far off land of gnarnia, he was wearing full tilts and wielding a spork, once the dragon was dead the people of gnarnia were able to live on in peace, the end

Well not my granddad, but my patient;

He's a huge outdoorsy guy, or was back in his prime.  Built this amazing log cabin in the woods and spent a lot of time out there.  So he's out hunting bear, and gets tangled up on a tree branch and fell face first into a patch of ground that was covered with sticks that were sticking up out of the ground.  One of them barely missed his eyeball, but went straight up his nose and got lodged there.  He took it out and eventuallly forgot about it.

A year later he started sneezing a lot, and after about 12 of them in a row a big chunk of wood came flying out his nose

putting "grandpa" and "climax" in the same sentence is doing it wrong.

i lol'd

"To my son Home .and his entire family, I leave these: a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J.D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run of the house with a big washtub and... Anyway, about my washtub. I'd just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a walking-bird. We'd always have walking-bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called baseball..."

"We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

^

^You just read that in my voice.

ask uni-corn, he's got a great grandpa story.

my grandfathers are dead........the end

hahaha thank you, that is the first thing i thought of when i saw the thread title

hm yeah mine too i never met them. but my dad's dad was in world war 2 a ton, got a bunch of purple hearts and shit and went on to be a 2 star general. but he would NEVER talk about the war, even when my dad explicitly asked him. sort of sad really

After World War 2 my grandpa dug out dozens maybe hundreds of anti-infantry mines from his farm land so his cows didn't blow up, after he took them apart he used the "cans" as a structure to build a concrete staircase in his home.

My friends grandfather left for the War in 1941 or something and during that time his family was being relocated all over Poland on trains. In 45' he he traveled from Berlin to a random train station in Poland on foot, sleeping in the tops of trees so the returning Nazis didn't find him. At that random train station he saw a boy and showed him a photograph of his son to see if he recognized him and that random boy just happened to be his son. He got lucky as shizz

yea so did mine like a month ago..would of been his 50th aniversarie like a day ago, he was soo close.

RIP

my grandma was trying to walk home after dinner at my cousins, then my oldest cousin ran out, tripped her, and broke her leg.

sorry OP, but i guess you wont get a fitting one,


i have nothing to do with my grandpa who is still living and the other passed away like 3 years ago, but he came over to our house pretty often.

he was born in 34 or so and was in the hitlerjugend at the time of the war. he showed us these playing cards that were issued to the kids, like we had them, but instead of cars or trucks (with speed, horsepower as stats) they had tanks, machineguns and stuff on it.

and he told us how "his unit" was captured back then and imprisoned in a stadium in garmisch-partenkirchen when the war was over. he showed us his original helmet and some other stuff. my dad ripped the swastikas off, but on the helmet it wasnt possible to remove it. i remember how my brother (he was 7 or 8 or so) wanted to run outside to play with the helmet on, but my dad held him back for obvious reasons (ok, maybe not so obvious, but in germany/austria, you arent allowed to show a swastika symbol around).

he told us a ton of stuff, but i am sure he added some things, but its kinda sad that i never got to talk to him now that i now all this stuff about the war. you know, when youre little, war is something badass, guns and shit and you want to hear about it, but he didnt tell us all that holocaust/war crime things, but now i would like to talk about that with him.

i met one of my grandfathers and he went to vietman and got shot in his head...got a steel plate put into his head and died a day before my lil sister was born on jan 3, 1998

"holy shit" to the 2 above me...crazy stuff

Like two weeks after my granma dies my aunt asked my grandpa if he was taking his pills his response was "Yeah, but i think im gonna stop taking my viagra, theres no sense sharpening your pencil if theres nothing to write on."

lol

my grandpa used to tear menus in haft at resturants when service was too slow.