FUCK so i was babysitting tonight. three kids. one is 5, one is 3, and one is 6 months. the older ones are already in bed and i'm feeding the baby on the couch. when he's done he falls asleep so i'm just chillin there holding him and then out of NOWHERE he sits up and starts throwing up ALL OVER ME. and i thought he was just spitting up a little but no, it just kept coming. it was like niagara fucking falls. he probably threw up the entire bottle i fed him. All over me, my cell phone, and the couch we were sitting on. so i'm sitting there drenched in baby vomit, trying not to vomit myself because of the smell and my phone just starts vibrating constantly...without stopping for like 20 minutes while i'm cleaning up. so eventually i attend to my phone. try to turn it off, it turns itself back on. then it starts pressing buttons by itself. it has a life of its own so i just took the battery out. then i had to sit for 45 minutes in vomit soaked clothes. i watched spongebob. and then i got paid $20.
-Drop knees, not bombs
"Cigarette on the in run, no shirt, land switch into pow? Only Charley Ager, baby"
-"Just a quadruple stage , to an 800 foot cliff with a tree on fire at the bottom. No problem, Ill just rip it outta the ground and eat it"
"I would totally lose my virginity to a fat chick for a free season pass"-RayL
"Fuck yeah, you don't see Shawn White getting blackout drunk down here do you?" TOM WALLISCH
i really feel bad for you here, i cant believe you only got 20$ after getting vomited on?
shit. my babysitters used to get closer to 100 just for two or three hours, granted, i was a little asshole and required constant amusement, but still, i know ive made 30$ for just two kids for like four hours.
some people really underpay their babysitters. next time they are handing you that paltry sum, you should say to them in a wiseguy accent "ey, uhhh, i wouldnt want any kinda "accident" to be happenin to that kid o yours there. it would be.... "unfortunate" yaddamean?"
and then hit those cheap fucks in the kneecaps with a baseball bat.
"im invincible, nobody and nothing can tell me otherwise"-me
when i used to babysit i would get paid 15$ an hour to look after the kids who were already asleep so i would just watch cartoons. I would normally work till 3am so and they were fine with me just falling asleep on the couch too. Such a legit job.
yours sounds like it kinda sucks
T "It's my storm. I can make it do whatever I want."
"What the fuck is wrong with you kids?! How would you like it if I came and had sex in front of your house?"